Hi Original Authors,

I would like to offer a review of your novels, one per day in order of request. I will read at least 20,000 words before placing a review. Now all the reviews will be rated 5* but in the actual review, I will mark it on the following. (out of 5)

Originality - (how original I find the concept and plot)
Story - (how interesting and engaging the story is)
Characters - (are they individuals, speak with different voices, judged on all main cast, not just the MC)
Flow - (how easy is it to read and understand)

I will not grade grammar, but particularly bad grammar will affect the flow. One last thing.
You can request a BRUTAL review if you want some humour, aka roasting. Or a NICE review. Where I am very nice and offer constructive advice where I can.

    Review mine as well although it currently have 10k+ word count. Thanks a lot!!
    Sorcha Knight in the City
    Links

      Uh btw please review mine however you want. Tho I prefer half-roast/half nice :P

        Skully_ Can you give my book a Brutal review with some sweet words at the end? (it makes the brutality easier to take.;,;.) Also, you can rate down areas that you think should be marked down if they exist as far as the places that they ask for (actually please do, but only if they SHOULD be marked down in your opinion).

            Myriad_

            Copy and paste from the novel's review so others know what they are in for.

            Originality - 4/5 It's a cultivation novel, however, I found an original story within. The sect dynamics, their goals, trials and tribulations are interesting.
            .
            Story - 5/5 There is a very interesting story here dying to get out. It is hampered by other factors (flow and descriptors). The author's imagination and creativity are obvious to see, but I am having trouble receiving their vision.
            .
            Characters - ?/5 The characters need work. They are likeable, this is not the issue. I like Xiare, Eumi and even Mr Knight. The problem is I do not know what any of them look like. When Mr Knight is introduced Xiare should look at him and describe him in her own words. I find it hard to distinguish any characters beyond the three groups. Women, Men and old people. By their words, thoughts and personality. This improves as the story progresses which indicates the Author works out who they are as she writes. Characters are the main aspect of a story that readers fall in love with. It is extremely important to show; what they look like, their goals or motivations, their personality and quirks, and most importantly their distinct voice.
            .
            Flow - The flow starts out terrible, but improves chapter by chapter. By chapter 30 its excellent. When someone talks we know who is talking. There is more description in between thoughts and conversation.

            Suggestion: Take a break from publishing daily, read your entire story. Go back and rewrite chapter 1 to 7. Especially 1 to 3. In these first few chapters describe what the characters look like and put in their personality from the later chapters. Also ensure the reader always knows who is talking or thinking.
            .
            Suggestion 2): I think your writing is improving with practice. Just as my first 200,000 words were not as good as my second 200,000 or 3rd, or 4th. etc. So I suggest you keep writing as you will continue to improve at a rapid rate which is already evident. It's my opinion that when you want multiple POVs that you shouldn't have them as first person. You should use third person. This way you can show what characters are thinking without confusion.e.g. Xiare wondered ......, or Eumi was fascinated/frustrated etc etc.

                Skully_ What I meant was like the good and bad of my story if you don't have much time you don't have to go into much detail. I've seen your novel in rankings it has a really good rating which tells that you are able to write really good stories I also have it in my library so to get some opinions about the good and bad about my story would be really helpful .
                Right now I have 10K words published in the post you mentioned you will read a story each day so going by the order when you reach mine it'll have over 15K words.

                    Skully_ eh? Im sorry.. that'd be troublesome for you. If you haven't started reviewing mine, I'm fine with pure roasting, but if not, just continue.. haha

                        please do 'THE HARD MODE BRUTAL REVIEW" on my novel

                        Rebirth of the System Creator

                        including the synopsis, cultivation description and everything else please.

                        Oh, this novel was rewritten again so I hope for the best.

                        Arigato Gozaimasu

                          existing

                          links

                          Brutal Mode
                          Originality - None. 0/5. Good work on the copy paste reincarnation story tropes. Oh you forgot that the MC's name was Sorcha, she died, reborn and her new parents happened to name her Sorcha. The ODDS!?!
                          The neighbouring countries of Linbourne are Oakbourne, Silverbourne, and Vertbourne, and Linbourne. Linbourne not only neighbours itself all countries end with *bourne!

                          Story - 4/5 Despite having felt I have read this story before I actually enjoyed it. That is until every male, including ones in their twenties, were infatuated with her. And wondering why a four-year-old girl gave them a cold shoulder. ** I know who Marion is unless you have a twist planned. This could have waited until she was older. Marion and Ryan could have found her intelligent and cute.

                          Characters - 3/5 The MC has a kick ass personality. Everyone else is a cliche. With the exception of Edmund. Most of the kids and adults speak with the Authors voice. Except for Edmund, he is special. Edmund should become the new main sidekick. Go, Edmund. Poor little shy bastard with no redeeming qualities except he loves MC.

                          Flow - 5/5 The flow is excellent. Nothing to troll here. Move along troll, move along. I found it easy to read. But you need to stop apologising for long chapters. You are the storyteller. It is what it is. The story comes first. Fuck the reader. If the story demands a 10k chapter. Then they can suck a cold one. Give them a 10k chapter. Give them cliffhangers too. Take no prisoners.
                          .
                          .
                          Nice Suggestions: I enjoyed reading the story. I would suggest a few things to improve, but above all keep writing.
                          .
                          1) describe what it looks like. The classroom, the home, the cafe. Wherever the characters are spending time. Take time to describe it once so the reader can picture it in their mind.
                          .
                          2) Give the characters a distinct voice. You are halfway there, keep going.
                          .
                          3) describe the character's appearance once. Have Luke think about Sorcha. Or what Rica sees when looking at Ryan. or just describe them. Give them a quirk or difference.
                          .
                          4) dont make it too easy for the MC. Good things come to those who wait. Not every man adores her. Some might just want to be friends. Some might take a long time. Some might give her pushback initially and her strong will then forces her way through.

                              Skully_ I'm still digesting everything. I am actually laughing while reading. It's really interesting to know how others think about my story.
                              First thing.. I'm aware that there really isn't much originality. The inspiration came from those rein.. tropes anyway lol
                              your reaction towards the countries are gold. 😂😂
                              I'm glad how you rate 4/5 on the story. Did it really appear as if they're infatuated already? I guess I have a lot of adjusting to do on that.
                              The characters.. I will also try to improve how to make them more distinct.
                              Lastly I'm happy that you found it easy to read. And.. okay haha I'll listen to your advice.

                              I will follow your suggestions. Even though my work is really amateurish, I'm glad you enjoyed reading. 😣😣 Thank you very much for this honest review and for pointing out the things that I need to improve on.

                              I'm thankful I asked for this roasting. 😄😄😄

                              And if it's not bothersome, I hope you could rate directly in my novel. Thanks again. ♥️ Edit: I just noticed that you already did!! Hahahah

                                  Please review mine. I'd prefer a nice review if possible.

                                  I currently have 11 chapters and 17k+ words, and should be able to release the next chapter tomorrow at most.

                                  Duality

                                    Heya, Link to your book, since your reviewing books I'd like to return the favour. I dont want nice or brutal just honest. This being said your welcome to skip over mine since its BL genre ( even if there is no p0rn in it and its mostly comedy some people may get uncomfortable ) https://www.webnovel.com/book/11490900806393805/I-reincarnated-into-a-harem-game-as-a-villain%2C-Please-stay-away-I'm-gay!

                                    PS I have an editor now so don't worry too much about grammer they should be fixing it up soon. :)

                                      Huangdi Distinct voice means exactly what it implies which is each character sounds like a different individual. Their own person. The opposite of this is when all the characters talk the same, sound the same. It is something an author needs to work on to ensure all the characters don't sound like the same person.

                                      There are exceptions. When a group of people, i.e. students, hang out together all the time they end up sounding similar. But their personalities will still be different. This falls apart when the teacher enters because the teacher should talk completely different to the students. Use different language and sentence structure.

                                        HavenlyJeep
                                        link to story

                                        Spoilers within.

                                        Originality - 5/5 This is an original story. I applaud on_a_jeep for creating an original world, plot and powers. I enjoyed following the MC as she, I assume she because she wore a dress, walked through her world. The title is superb

                                        Story - 4/5 The plot is very good. However, it is let down by weak or lazy descriptions. For example. Hope is in a conversation protesting the fact he is assigned as Ava's bodyguard and the story then states.
                                        "I felt bad for him, so I convinced Hope that I would protect him."
                                        This sort of shortcut is repeated often during the story. The author should have taken the time to SHOW not TELL the reader how Ava convinced him and it would have taken some time. Because he was quite adamant that he didn't want to do it.

                                        This is just one example of a shortcut was taken instead of showing what happened and these shortcuts ruin a great story.

                                        Another example.
                                        Grandpa says "This gun has enough firepower to penetrate the armor of a tank with one shot. A new invention. You'd be surprised by how much technology has developed in the recent years until now, the year 2031."

                                        Why is Grandpa talking to the reader? The characters know what year it is. I assume they know technology has progressed but even so, it would be more like grandpa would say something like "we have these new prototype guns which can shoot through the armour of a tank."
                                        I can only guess the reason that grandpa said this was the author didn't want to go to the trouble of explaining the technology of the world and the year. Hence another example of taking shortcuts instead of describing what was happening.

                                        Characters - 3/5 The MC has a distinct personality. I was a little confused how she went from demure and pacifist to a stone cold killer.
                                        The parents were confusing. I get the "evil" side. But I couldn't make sense of their motivations. They were used as a plot device. And logic be damned. One of my questions is, why did they bother wiping her memories? They could have just jailed her and experimented on her. Why after all that work and time in hiding did they decide, ok we will kill you now you are useless? Now there may be answers to these questions but it wasn't explained. And I am left to assume the parents had a role to play in the story and there was no work done on their goals and motivations.

                                        Flow - 3/5 The flow was ok. I was able to understand most of what was happening without re-reading a sentence or paragraph. There were times when I wasn't sure who was talking as there were only quotes with no attribution. The grammar was good in parts and other parts it was particularly bad. And while I am not judging grammar, I am where is affects the flow. In this story it does a few times every chapter.

                                        Suggestions: Don't be lazy and take your time to SHOW everything to the reader. You have a great story but the delivery made it hard to receive.

                                            Mine: Hero Conspiracy

                                            I'll be greedy and ask for a mix between both, Brutal With a touch of humor and constructive to see what I did right and I did wrong.

                                              Misguided_Rooster I am trying to decipher your sentence. It sounds like you want to lose the will to write and if you post here you think the Skully will stop you losing the will... now...thats what it reads like and if you mean something else you are perfect for a Brutal review.

                                                  Skully_ hahaha, then I will be waiting for your bony review, master undead disembodied floating skull deep bow

                                                      DeJeL
                                                      masterpeice of the billenium

                                                      Because this novel is a masterpiece of this world, and on other planes of existence, without compare; I am not worthy to write a review on it. I have decided to write a review of the requirements for a reader to partake in this enlightened-dragon-master-godly work.

                                                      Interpolation Requirement: 70
                                                      .
                                                      If you, the reader, are unable to consume line after line of text, insert commas, full stops, attribute voice and interpolate on the fly you will not be able to follow this story. This is not the fault of the author. It is yours for not being of adequate interpolation level. Please go and read forty thousands chapters of machine translated novels and return to attempt again if you cannot comprehend the magnitude of these works.

                                                      Cipher Level Requirement: 67
                                                      .
                                                      If the reader is experiencing difficulties working out what just happened and you read the section over again. And again and you finally think you know what has happened. If this is you. You need more training. You have not reached the cipher level requirement to enjoy this masterpiece. This work is beyond you acolyte. The masterpiece does not need to explain to you why Carmen loves Dawson unconditionally immediately nor why they are cousins or she is an angel who knows about the Bible and won't explain. No... It is your task to decipher this information. No novel for you today. Come back tomorrow.
                                                      .
                                                      Interpretation Level Requirement: Ninth Gate of the Elder Dragon
                                                      .
                                                      If a reader is unable to open the nine gates of the elder dragon reading they will not be able to interpret and comprehend this work. Skully the disembodied floating undead skull who has lived for forty centuries, who starting reading hieroglyphics as a child's finger bone is struggling. You mere mortal have no chance. Even with the aid of chapter 2 character descriptions, (which you can edit? please don't troll this section) because adding descriptions of characters into the story is beneath the Master. That is the domain of mere mortals.

                                                      As a test, if you are unable to comprehend this review. Go. Read another billion words. Unless you can read with your eyes closed and you can see Mount Tai from the inside of your eyelids you are not ready for this fiction.

                                                      Suggestion to Author regarding equipment: I think you need to replace your keyboard. The enter key, comma and full stop keys are only working twenty percent of the time.

                                                          Hey! I'd like a review. You can be whatever you want to be yo, just be honest let me know how you feel!

                                                          Sky Fall Legend

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