I wrote a poem based off fantasy and some mythology, I don't know if it's any good since it's my 1st and kinda like a trial, Could i get some opinions on this please?

Blessed by the Feng gods
Holy wind descends
Forming jade coloured serpents
Engraved with clouds
Wrapping around the Lotus
Blown into the wind.

Yang gives birth to heat
The lotus burns like the pure sun
Engraved with Phoenix's
Every petal an extension of the sun
Brightening up the sky
Drifting over Fusang Valley
Three-legged golden crows cawing
In acceptance of a pure bloodline.

The Lotus drifts through the winds tempest
Through the mountains
Over the seas
Leaving silhouettes
Of empyrean yang embodiments
The sun descends a heavenly body
Blessing the lands.

    It's pretty good.

    Your repeated mentioning of the 'lotus' serves as a symbol that glues together the whole poem, making sure that no stanza was isolated. The poem, through the language, has an atmospheric feel to it, using elements from nature and even holiness is added in, by the mention of the gods. This creates a very primal environment. The lack of life within this poem creates a very natural effect.

    However, you didn't manage to add a meter; that's fine, they're hard to do anyway. The length of each stanza were all different. This could either add to the primal, chaotic/ natural feel you've got in the poem or be ignored. It could also confuse the reader. When talking about the beautiful, harmonious side of nature, it's best not to change the length of each stanza. Instead, if you placed more focus on the chaotic side of nature, the lack of structure, the form of the poem would reflect the content.

    In conclusion, it's good, just work on cleaning it up a bit. :)

    Thank you everyone for the comments and feedback 🙏 I'll take it into consideration and write a better version of this.

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