Cold_Sun Np man, i skimmed a bit and saw this. Guess i missed it in my first read?

''Rick was already too scared to breath facing these four creatures. But Rick just realised that it was not just Rick who was worried. Even the four "Kings" seemed to be on guard.''

''An idea suddenly popped into Rick's mind.

'I might as well try this.' Rick thought.''

These are just some examples of the problem. I think you should refrain from repeating 'Rick' so much. Try to use more 'he' and 'him' if the scene is still focused on Rick. I don't know any exact guidelines on it, but i'm sure there must be a lesson somewhere on the internet about when and where to appropriately use the character names. Uh, can't really express myself that well with my level of english as i don't know the technical terms for it, so i hope you can understand what i'm trying to convey.

Btw while i was skimming i also thought this looked strange now that i have taken another look at it

"Hey!" Before he had even taken five steps forward, Rick suddenly heard a scream behind.

Is it normal to use the word 'scream' or would 'shout' be a better fitting word for someone calling out to you like that? What do you think?

      Kukukuku Hahahahaha! Publish first! Edit later! Nice motto :P

        N0xiety
        Thanks! I won't pester anymore.
        You have been a great help

            a year later
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