PeachyPearl I checked out your second novel. Not sure if I should leave a review on there or in the forum so I'll just post it here. Sorry if it's a bit brutal but this is my honest opinion so if you have any questions about why feel free to ask.
Writing Quality: 3.5 stars
Stability of Updates: Can't really tell
Story Development: Not much has happened (too early to tell)
Character Design: 3.5 (for me it's a bit too cliche)
World Background: Not much has happened (too early to tell)
Lots of grammar mistakes in the first chapters. Things like not capitalizing in the beginning of a new sentence or switching between past and present tense. And some spelling mistakes as well. There were some run on sentences that just seemed to keep adding on. It's fine if they're split up into two sentences. Sometimes the pause that comes with an added period can make things flow better than one long sentence.
Ex.) "Though the mystery remained unchanged as to why she broke up with the one she really loved, why her friends were hyping it up saying it was a courageous decision, and why they said her breakdown wasn't caused solely because of her parting with Danish, but their 'birdy'had returned."
"Though the mystery remained unchanged as to why she broke up with the one she really loved, why her friends were hyping it up, saying it was a courageous decision. Why they had said her breakdown wasn't solely caused by her parting with Danish, but even more important than that, their 'birdy' had returned."
I added in some commas and a period while fixing the spacing between 'birdy' and had. I tried to make it flow better while keeping the main things about it.
Some sentences didn't really flow well because of you wanting to add in so much which made them a bit choppy.
Though it surprised me when in chapters 5-6 the writing "style" changed. From short and fast to longer and more detailed. Maybe it's a sign of the story evolving more? Or an expansion of the world for the reader? Just be careful to not have super long paragraphs, I have the same problem which I'm working on, whereas the long paragraphs make it harder for mobile readers to read without straining their eyes.
Your descriptions of Vyakhya were really nice and almost poetic. Loved the detail in them as well!
Though I am intrigued as to why she broke up with him, I'm sorry I can't give you a higher rating but since it's fairly new I didn't want to post a low score review on your novel. Keep working on it and just be sure to double check on your grammar.