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ImaginxryYxnk Your story has potential, I summed up some pointers below;

1. Check your spelling, it’s not bad but here and there you make a minor mistake. No worries though, everyone does (I don’t exclude myself from this statement).

2. Consider using commas rather than points when writing dialogue:

Random example;

“I’m hungry,” she said, “who feels like getting some food.”

Instead of,

“I’m hungry.” She said. “Who feels like getting some food.”

3. You don’t have to write ‘she said’ or ‘he whispered’ or such variations every time someone says something. It’s unnecessary and tires your readers.

4. Qualifying words, such as ‘very’, ‘little’, and ‘rather’, add nothing to your meaning and suck the life out of sentences.

5. “Show don’t tell” - rule: Use as little adverbs as possible! Don’t write: delightfully... Describe the subject in such a way that the reader thinks “how delightful!”

And lastly: Shorten, delete, and rewrite anything that does not add to the meaning. It’s okay to write in a casual style, but don’t inject extra words without good reason.

To make this easier, break your writing into steps: 1) Write the entire text. 2) Set your text aside for a few hours or days. 3) Return to your text fresh and edit. 4) Repeat this until you grow tired of your own chapter 5) Edit it once more for good luck.

I hope these pointers will help, remember the most important thing to do is to keep writing! Write as much as possible, the more you do, the more you improve. I hope you have a lot of fun!

Chryiss The only reason I’m able to give these is because others have pointed some of them out in my own work. Thanks to these more experienced writers, who share their knowledge, I’m quick to spot these when I read other stories.