It all depends on the story, not the genre. What I dislike is when stories get tagged as a harem due to multiple love interests despite there being no marriages or engagements in the story. This is particularly the case when the MC is dense to such matters or has even declared that they are focusing on studies, trainining, etc. and not interested in such matters yet.
Why I dislike harem
I can read a harem story like Nisekoi...?
.
Girls like the MC but he end up with 1 girl.
I dislike it if MC just get all the girls in the story. (Like really married to all of them)
- Edited
Before i say anything let me say im just not that open minded of a guy about harem so i have never read and likely will never read harem so take what i say with a grain of salt....
Some of our fellow daoists mentioned its interesting when conflicts suddenly turn to love and in turn to harem the reason i think 99% of harem novels are pure fan service is because there is no reason, feeling or logic behind it we read novels as a way to immerse ourself in a more magical world i know most of you if not all read novels while imagining yourselves as main characters i know i do it so ask yourselves this.. What Will you do if a girl(or a guy for our lady friends here) attacks you? Will you just bend over and leave them be because of their gender? (common occurrence in harem novels leaving enemies live cause of gender) All these harem novels turn enemy to lover so i find it illogical and stupid i for fact would resort to wholesome slaughter no matter the gender if it is my enemy.
Then there is the harem where girls(i point out harem cuz i have no idea how reverse harem is like sorry) for no apparent reason love mc, mc walks by some sect for something he needs and suddenly its open season for his sperm "ohhhh such a strong guy" don't these girls have personality? I dont care about background of a character but at that point in time author should write a believable character not some sex drone hell bent on having mc's babies.
Then there are damsels, Mc jumps in saves bunch of people and if by some god chance there is a girls amongst them then that girl will forever be bound by mcs macho sex attraction "he saved me, time to have his babies WOO-HOO".
And one thing i absolutely hate is in all these cultivation novels they talk about dao heart and not betraying ones beliefs and at start they are loyal to one girl, for some reason they get separated then screw the first girl now its time for some orgy belief in general shouldn't be something you can so easily change but it happens again and again.
Im gonna point out that Er Gen novels almost always have 2 girls marrying the mc i certainly don't like it as im wired that way but at least these girls have depth of character, EQ and atleast some amount of reason to feel that way about mc.
I rambled on alot have a fortune cookie 
Pilum_Murialis See, that is my point. That is NOT a harem. If the MC isn't providing for and sleeping with multiple partners, it isn't a harem and should not be tagged as one!
Balinor when i'm bored i like to put myself on the other side of the argument just to see what happens... So here i go
Not fighting girls: I'm pretty sure there are a lot of examples where the guy just sits there and takes the abuse from her without retaliating. Who hits a girl back today anyway? Expecting slaughter regardless of gender is not realistic.
Enemies become lovers: they say there's a fine line between love and hate. Sure if she kills your family I don't expect a happy ending, but 2 rivals developing feelings isn't SF. Constantly thinking about the other will create something that might develop in a strange way.
Girls throwing themselves at MC: so it's OK to go into a bar offer a drink, dance a little and go home with the girl, but not to go inside a clan, show some flashy stuff offer a pill or two and get the girl? If u substitute a miraculous art with a flashy car u basically get the same thing.
The damsel in distress situation: i'm not sure but I think this one still works. What do you say ladies? Have you ever been saved by a white knight before? I developed positive feelings just by getting help with projects at school. If saving a mark can put a person in a positive light can't imagine what saving a life will do.
So is it unrealistic?no. Annoying? Yes _
I think harem is fine insofar as it's consistent within the novel's worldbuilding. That said, I'm not a fan of harem being the selling point of a novel, I think that's weak in imagination.
I dislike harem at first and didn't want to read any novel that has it. Not until I read Ancient Godly Monarch. Not all harem are sex and shits. It only gets annoying when the novels emphasize how girls throw himself to the male main characters, it's insulting. If it's harem, I want the guy to at least make an effort to get the girl.
7 days later
- Edited
Enlightened_Being Is that so? I'm just being honest. Call it hypocrisy or whatever. I only like reverse harem not because it has too many guys on it. It was because reverse the MC only has "guy friends" where the MC is only confuse about who she choose in the end. Well, I knew that some of the reverse harem had a female lead that really like too many men around her and had some kind of steamy scene (I don't read those kind things like mature content whenever in harem) just like what I didn't like in the harem it's because it has a lot of steamy scene. No hate though. I only like reverse harem and harem that didn't have so much mature content that it went far in the main story.
Edit: Sorry for the English 
Well, I just wanted to say that I don't like harem especially if it has mature content.
GigelFaceLegea Yeah, especially if the guy doesn't do anything. They just sat quietly and watch. It's kinda irritating
TinyRustyPanda can't say mine is a harem novel except its like a love triangle and killing off that irritating piece of bleepbleepbleep in the end.
Oh yeah, fyi my novel kinda sucked. Instead of writing a full novel, I broke it down into series, more like short stories but sticked with the main character.
Cheerio
Pilum_Murialis That's why I said the Japanese ruined the HAREM tag. Take Nisekoi for example it NEVER was and NEVER be a Harem. The story is technically a normal romance where a lot of girl admire a single man and a man also admire many women technically speaking it is NORMAL! now harem is not about admiring this and admiring that the Japanese wide spread of FAKE harem has technically destroyed the very definition of Harem Genre. Still there are some Japanese Harem that is real even if majority of them is Fake.
Take Arifureta Shokugyou de Sekai Saikyou (WN) for example. It's a good Harem novel.
Sadly their are very very very few of the so called Japanese Harem that is real. Sadly even in anime most Harem Tag are FAKE.
In Chinese novel Harem is also badly forsaken and abuse the difference in the Japanese is that the Chinese Harem tend to exaggerate things.
You can try A Martial Odyssey novel it is a decent Harem if you have time.
Balinor This person is a good example of having never read a good harem in his life. And have most of his time reading FAKE HAREM or Hentai HAREM genre lol. A person who read a good harem once can see that every thing you mentioned and know about harem are self biased after reading all those fake chinese harem who get girls like pokemon with a theme gonna sex them all POKE-mon (lol) Harem is not hentai most good harem doesn't elaborate to much on sex on just focus on pure romance between one man and many women or vice versa and now that you mentioned it reverse harem is much more decent in this topic.
7 days later
BakaNoPasuNoSaferu bro before you point people out like that, that guy, "balinor" said he never even read harem in the first place so read his comment xD, and everything about people's opinion about the genre they read is biased whether you deny that or not it is a ---->FACT<---
You go on saying harem is perfect and some people just don't like the idea of plogomy pure and simple, you like this and he doesn't. Anything else being said about other people's opinion is waste of time
BakaNoPasuNoSaferu Uhm, no. True harem (and reverse) are about a MC with multiplle spouses/concubines. That is the sole qualifier. Whether the work focuses on the emotions, sexual encounters, or both is irrelevant.
I agree that most "harem" tags are unwarranted, but the reason you gave is as assinine as the "focuses too much on sex" that always pops up in these topics.
10 months later
Finally somewhere I can vent, I dislike harems, not all of them I have found one or two I like, but only cause you expect the MC to be the kind of person who can't stick to one lady and world building allows it and the harem members can be seeing doing so. The other is where the MC treats all the harem members the same or isn't really too attached to them and they are unlikely to come back. I can usually bare most harems since I go in expecting the harems and know what I am for.
However there are certain things in harems that just ruin a story for-
1) The MC guy and MC girl are clearly done to make them out to be really special to each other where if the MC has to pick he will pick that girl. Going to the point where they are literally soulmates and in love, but then have a harem despite the fact the guy has his own true love.
2) The commonly called unwanted harem troupe where the character in question doesn't want a harem or either is not the kind of person to make a girl have harem, but is forced into it anyway.
3) All harem members don't have a romantic relationship with the MC, nor any real feelings, but they all get thrown into a harem at the very end just for the sake of it.
4) Agreeing to share the MC goes against the characterisation, where girls have shown to be the jealous type or they are simply not the type to share, but it ends up happen anyway.
5) And the worse is when a story does not start off as harem for example it starts off with this serious, mature and dark story with some drama and emotional moments usually with a main girl that get you hooked only to be ruined in the end. The MC does interact with girls, but it is clearly as friends/comrades and nothing in the romantic way while the girls end up liking the MC in a sense, but they won't throw themselves at him nor push him to like them and be alright if he has someone and have their own lives. However then it would suddenly start throwing in comedic sexual interactions, that boarder creepy. Both the MC and the girls in question progressively start becoming retarded. This keeps going and till the good plot points that got you hooked to the story in the first place are long forgotten and then in the end despite no romantic or anything being sorted out the MC suddenly gets with all the girls despite never having been more then just friends for the whole story.
If it's going to be a harem make it clear from the start and make it relative to the plot. Do not write an amazing story and plot only to force in a harem that has no place and it is not what the readers are expecting after getting hooked to the story.
DarkShadowBlaze You can make your own thread and vent. :thumbsup: Please don't necro threads.
yaoyueyi locked the discussion.