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Lappidappi
I have already reviewed your story.
Do return the favour :)
Let's Honestly Criticize Each Other
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I've already reviewed yours, and it is as honest and direct as it can be.
I love the way you have created your world, and you are capable of making me able to imagine any scene with intricate details.
Though I'm no better than crap at grammar, I'll tell you to improve it. The major portion of your grammatical mistakes are spelling mistakes. Even if you just go through your chapter once after writing it, you can eliminate a lot of them.
In your latest chapter, some of the spelling mistakes I noticed were:
Wohole instead of whole
Hum instead of him
Etc
I know these can be just typos but it is really easy to eliminate them if you thoroughly read your chapter again.
P.S. had to edit since I myself made a typing mistake lol (wrote an instead of and in the first line)
sob I don't deserve to criticize anyone
mysterious_being
How about we swap reviews?
The story am currently writing is titled Quick Transmigration - Counter Attack of Various Characters
Synopsis : Su Li dies of a chronic illness and her soul is bound to a system. Now this could be considered a blessing in disguise. Though skeptical and wary, she still decides to put her best foot forward.
She completes her assigned tasks earnestly keeping in mind not to let anyone catch on to the fact that the genuine goods have been overtaken by her. However, she soon realises that someone keeps following her from one world to another.
Slowly but surely she tries to figure out the reason for all of this world hopping business. Will she be able to get rid of the shackles placed on her by the system? Will she repudiate her deal with the system? Will she find out the answers to all her doubts and questions or will silence and melancholy be her only answer?
Will she find out the answers to all her doubts and questions or will silence and melancholy be her only answer? Only time will tell but untill then she needs to pull up her socks and get down to the business of counter attacking in lieu of various characters - cannon fodder, second female lead, main character, anti heroine, villainess etc.
Link : https://m.webnovel.com/book/13407968206765605
Shiksha_Jerath I'll try, but I am usually very busy so it might take a few days..... I'm already late at regular updates (haven't posted in almost three days now) and I have a lot of books queued to read and review
I've read only six chapters as of now, and these are what I've observed. There are some parts where you had a problem with the punctuations. Some of the words you choose to use are sometimes not that fitting. And also info dump though I'm not really sure if it really is a flaw or it's just common with system novels. You should also try to avoid really really long dialogues. You can try to separate them and describe the reactions in between. The same with the other wall of texts. If possible, it would be nice to separate them. The novel could also use a bit more of show rather than tell.
Reinesse I also love the concept of the overseer, but I'll talk more about it in detail after rereading, since it's been a while I read the previous chapters
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mysterious_being haha, it's okay. I'm really aware of my typos though it's hard for me to find them unless i do it thrice.
mysterious_being sadly, the overseer wasn't that active with fangirling in the latest chapters. she just casually comments when she can. ahe.
mysterious_being
Sure
No problem :)
Lappidappi I've also seen your thread, the reason why i created this one. It would have been rude to ask for a review there since it's not a swap thread on your thread.
and i think i should go and drop my novel here already.
Time Catharsis.
Reinesse
The paragraph length.... This has been pointed out to me by many people so I have tried to shorten the length in the later chapters.
Now that I have completed the first arc, I'll slowly start editing the chapters one by one.
The punctuation marks..... I'll definitely look into that as well since I myself am a bit of a grammar Nazi.
Misfit words.... Hmmm...... You are right about that as well, it's just I don't want to keep repeating the same words over n over again. I'll try to find better alternatives from here on out. :)
Show and tell : that's my weakness. Hai...
Those non-fitting words, it's just actually all about connotation-- whether it's positive or negative and the likes. As for show and tell, it's easy. Just think of it as making your word count higher.
Read mine too y'all
Why I never told you that I love you : Story of a time traveler
mysterious_being hmm allright we'll exchange reviews
Shiksha_Jerath it isn't really important to me to exchange reviews (we can do that anytime though) but I would highly appreciate it if you give my novel a read and criticize me....
I'll start reading your novel in 1-2 days
Shiksha_Jerath and then review it after reading some 5 chapters or so
https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/13975655405749205?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4303977620
Title: The Life Of A Time Mage
Sypnopsis: You've heard of us Time Mages. About us manipulating time. It is true, but only to a minor extent. Like Element Mages who control their specific Elements, Time Mages control Time. Those fables about Time travelling is neither wrong nor accurate. We can Time travel, but we can't change the space. That's why it is called Time Frame Hopping.
https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/13975655405749205?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4303977620
Title: The Life Of A Time Mage
Sypnopsis: You've heard of us Time Mages. About us manipulating time. It is true, but only to a minor extent. Like Element Mages who control their specific Elements, Time Mages control Time. Those fables about Time travelling is neither wrong nor accurate. We can Time travel, but we can't change the space. That's why it is called Time Frame Hopping.
Reinesse Your story is sprinkled with all that fluff. I love it.
Nothing much to say except that maybe the story should have a bit of a more serious tone if there are going to be mercenaries and killings in it.
The characters also need to be a bit more fleshed out but maybe that's just me because the story is still in its early stages.
Overall, it's a good option for binge reading on a rainy day :)
Shiksha_Jerath It's a rainy day here too. You're from India right?? Where do you live?? I'm from Gujarat. The rains have hit the state since a couple of days due to the cyclone Vayu