I got four chapters in and I wanted to go see my gynecologist. Mostly because the author had clearly never had a pap-smear nor a well-woman exam, and has no clue how uncomfortble they actually are. SMH. I really needed to feel the awkwardness of my husband to be, the murderer of my family, the girl(?) I had a crush on when I was younger and haven't seen in who knows how long, the murder of my family's right hand man, and whoever the hotdog else was there (names were being dropped like crazy), in the room waiting for the results of my hymen examination. wowee. get me off this wild ride.

It was a really interesting place to start the story, but the first 3 chapters were so hard to follow, and then the hymooonnnnn examinatttiiooonn was resolved in one sentence. Wow I guess it wasn't a big deal then. I hope the doctor poked it with his finger, ruining the whole needlessly confusing plot.

Cringe.

The FL was just kinda in love with him because he was hot? Thats it? She was an outcast because her father betrayed the emperor? She was saved because she was usefull and not useful? Why didn't the emperor just add him to his harem? Why would you allow your son to marry the daughter of a traitor, the daughter of the man you murdered? Ah, because the author says so. Its just like that! Us stupid simple minded readers would never understand the complications of a young woman who's essentially being sold into slavery and forced to marry a complete stranger. But it's ok because the guys a prince! Beautiful people can't be mean or abusive! It's not possible! Only ugly people and poor people can be bad! Stupid readers... too dumb to understand that every bad thing a character does can just be ignored because of their status and a six pack!!1!
Why think about yourself, about your flaws as a man when you can just look in a mirror marvel at your beeutifteee!
Why be worried about the future when you were just kinda hand waved into the royal family, even though you were a traitor and have literally no one? You're pretty, the girl(?) you're in love with is pretty, and your husband is just... a god amoung men!

I'm going to puke. This is some nasty tea.

    Lilliny To be fair, if your father betrayed the Emperor, I'm pretty sure you'll be branded as an outcast because of your familial association with him. That happens a lot in reality.

    A lot of your points are valid, though. I'm not sure why the Emperor ever thought it would be a good idea to marry his son off to the daughter of a traitor (wait, I'm confused, I thought the Emperor was the one who married Nana, did I misread something?). Normally the politically correct and logical route to take is to kill her, to tie up loose ends and to ensure she doesn't plot revenge and all that stuff real Emperors are worried about.

    And yeah, the male lead's behavior disturbs me. A lot. "Oh, I don't want to hurt you but I end up hurting you anyway. It's okay, though, because I never intended to hurt you, so all is forgiven!"

        Lilliny

        Wait, excuse me? The story STARTS with a "hymen examination"?

        Off to an auspicious start, it seems.

            Tomoyuki Well the reviews that had a proper list of positives and negatives right along with explanations about my grading, have been deleted.
            Some of them automatically by wn itself and the rest by the authors.
            Cause they don't care to have a negative review on their front page and neither does wn.

            What both writers and WN need are average positive review scores above 4.
            There are atrocious novels that have 4.8 and 4.9 rating just cause all the negative reviews are deleted and the fake positives keep piling up.

            That's my understanding formed by seeing almost all the negative reviews deleted.

            Why bother spend the time?
            It's more fun to see people actually asking around about the reasons things work this way in WN XD

                this is the best tea that I've read all week, please continue. :grin:

                  Clowniac you know, honestly, I think being an asshole when the other person you're dealing with is an asshole is a perfectly acceptable scenario. eye for an eye is always great drama. ;)

                    Clowniac

                    I haven't really found anything wrong with what you say either. I find it rather amusing.

                        xcares Ah, damn it. I can understand your frustration then. It must be really painful when you spent all that time to type out a well thought out review, listing what you both like and dislike about the story, only for the writer to callously delete it. It feels like a complete waste of your time. I hear you on that one.

                            OJROMANCE
                            Ok so, I read all the way to chapter 51. I was gonna write a scathing review reflecting the anger I felt for trying to read something that was clearly ran through google translate a few times. But around chapter 35 I realized Nana could be replaced with a pomeranian dog. After that I just stopped caring. Your main character has so little agency that I could mentally replace her with barking, and nothing, I'm serious, nothing changed. She had no agency at all in the story, shes just dumb. Everyone else seems to be able to come to their own conclusions about things that happen or things they learn, except her. Why?

                            And shes dumb. Did I mention that? She goes from fearing for her life and being disgusted by the ML's touch who molested her the night before, to skinny dipping with him the next chapter. Why? Why did you write this? These two human adults were acting like they were dating and flurting and all that, even though Nana felt fearful about telling her husband 'no'. She literally says that she feared he would beat her...

                            He also negs her during this chapter, calling her boring for not wanting to get naked with him even though he had molested her (he put his fingers UP THERE, :pray: ON JAH :pray: ) the night before.
                            Also, when you wrote the previous chapter from his POV, he very clearly didn't see her as a person with human emotions until she shouted at him and mentioned dead people. He excuses her because his (or her? its unclear) own mother had children at 17 and she, NANA, an 18 year old woman, just didn't know any better.
                            This is a grown man, talking about his wife, who he says he loves, and who he wants to have sex with, treating her like she is a child who never learned table manners. This is gross, on so many levels. Its not sexy. At all.

                            And the villans are soooo, dumb... it hurrrrtttss aaaaaaa.....
                            Why would you have a secret conversation within the palace, appearanly near enough to where Nana sleeps for her to just wander in on.
                            Why would a solider risk his life to frame Nana's brother, when he didn't get any parties thrown for him (am I reading this right?)
                            The motivations for these characters are so goddamn flimsy, and our cute little pom is just along for the ride most of the time. She acts like she just in the crook of someones arm... all the time. Shes just so flat...

                            Ok, so after her brother is not executed for a really confusingly explained reason ( a triple cross or something??), he monologues telling her and her handler Jandi (Jan-di?) in summary that theres mysterious goings on and that Nana's new owner the Emperor is in trouble. Oh and that his mom is actually his godmom, so he can't be evil.
                            Grateful that her previous owner (I-I mean big brother) didn't die, she does a 180 about how she feels about him, pushed further by the negging of her Emperor.
                            She decides shes ready to take the peen, and the sex lastes 20 seconds.

                            I'm pretty sure our dear author has never been in a healthy relationship before, or has never had good sex before. Or both...
                            TLDR, you are in dire need of an editor. Seek help.

                                yaoyueyi
                                I wanted to be sure I was right. I was :heart:.

                                Clowniac
                                I'm pretty sure this author is like..14 or something. They censor the sex words!!! Who does that?

                                      She's Nigerian. I suspect her first language is Hausa or Yoruba, but I could be mistaken. It does explain why her English might sound weird to someone whose is more used to American English or British English. This is not to say Nigerian English is bad - it's just a different dialect in the same way Singlish is a weird dialect of English conceived in Singapore. So if you're not a local, it might be difficult to catch the naunces or whatever.

                                      I'm going to play devil's advocate and point out that you being able to read 51 chapters before you hit the paywall is a sign that her story still managed to hook you nonetheless, which is far better than some stories where people can't even read past the first couple of chapters. However, it's not good enough for you to be willing to spend spirit stones on it.

                                        Tomoyuki
                                        I'm gonna be real with you man, I was reading out of spite and boredom (I work at a call center). But! That does not change the fact that her story is written poorly, her protagonast is flat, the ML (I can't remember his name I am soooo sorry) is a toxic person who doesn't see his wife as a human, just as a sleeve.
                                        The entire story procedes whether Nana says no or yes (she always says no btw). The only time she says yes is to THE SECKS, and thats after everyone around her tells her its the right answer.
                                        Why are you apologizing for this author? Why can't a work be in poor quality? Especially when said author has the nerve to @ as many random people as possible and plug her work. Even after is appearant that they only leave positive 3+ star reviews up for users to see?

                                        Who cares if shes Nigerian? Does that excuse her behavior? Does that excuse her poor writing? Should it?

                                            Lilliny Oh goodness, you actually read the 51 chapters? Gosh. I don't mean to be rude but even I was going to check the story but couldn't really go beyond the first chapter.

                                                LostInFictions
                                                Chapters 8-11 made me physically nauseous. I felt like I was reliving all those times older men made me feel uncomfortable. But, if the author's dumb enough to tell me I'm wrong until I hit 51, you bet I'm gonna be right. And a four and a half hour shift.

                                                    Lilliny I'm not apologizing for her or saying her work is good. I'm merely offering an explanation as to why her writing appears bad or childish (you were guessing her age is 14 and wondered who censors sex words - perhaps Nigerians do?).

                                                    I do agree with you that the male lead is extremely toxic and I find his treatment of Nana absolutely disgusting, despite his claims that he loves her (very important case of how show, not tell should be employed). And I also agree that Nana is a one-dimensional, flat main character, and that the story is...well, poorly written. That said, I'm in no position to criticize other people because my own writing skills and language are awful as f, so I can sympathize. Sympathy does not equate to denial, though.

                                                        Lilliny I am so sorry to hear that but then, I guess that's just a part of being a woman and it's awful. We all have been in the same place at some point in time in life. One has to be lucky enough not to go through the same.

                                                        I didn't go beyond the first couple of paragraphs I knew how it was going to be and this is not what I prefer to read. I am sorry if this hurts you, dear author, but your ratings honestly surprise me. Even if I consider that a bunch of people truly liked your concept but full marks for writing when you clearly have grammar issues?

                                                            Tomoyuki
                                                            Nah its ok, Nigerians probably do be like that... but even so.. why write a novel with secks in it then? You don't have to answer, it just boggles the mind is all....

                                                            LostInFictions
                                                            I had to reread the first couple of chapters because I 100% thought Nana was 10, and I was just trying to figure out if I skipped some sort of indication of forward movement in time. I did not... the summary says that shes ten and that in the future she'd end up in the palace, so I kinda thought it would start when she was 10. Thank god I figured it out by the skinny dipping saga, becasue I was really close to reporting it Webnovel.

                                                                  Web Novel Novel Ask