I'm not gonna leave this review on your page because I don't think two chapters is enough (and the score would be low).

Writing Quality:
The writing quality needs a lot of work. There are a many times where I'm reading and I don't really understand whats happening or why it's happening. It's not impossible to read, but just for clarity you should clean it up a little. You need to learn proper punctuation, grammar, and capitalization. When I was reading the second chapter, I was confused at to what the point of view was. It would shift from third person, to first person, then back again. Figure out who is telling the story before you write. Then, when you finish a chapter, read through it once, set it down and go do something else. Then read it again. That's what I do.
Story Development:
There isn't really any story development. He's with two chicks and then he's a baby. If I hadn't read the summary I would have been highly confused.
Character Design:
The main character is really, really, unlikable. I only got through the first chapter so I could feel the satisfaction of him getting stabbed. It didn't happen, so I'm a bit annoyed.
While I was reading, I was honestly confused as to whether you (the author), were a man or woman. You describe you characters in a way a woman would. But write them like a man.

What I mean is: our main guy is depicted as this insanely beautiful guy who's blonde and muscular, but slim; and his girlfriend this pale beauty. But the way he talks about women... Yuck! It's gross. Were you trying to get me to hate him? Good job, it worked! I wanted to see him get stabbed so badly...

You gave him way too many negative traits. Him being hot doesn't make him any less of a piece of shit. There is a way to write a lady-killer harem king, and still have us, the audience not hate him. Konrad, from the Profane Prince of Domination is a great example of this. He knows what hes doing is wrong, and owns it! He still sees the women he's after as people (unlike your character), and even felt guilt for tricking one of them. This is what I meant when I said two chapters wasn't enough to leave a real review.
Even in the second chapter, you main character describes his mother as old, and then you, the author tell us shes young and this baby wasn't planned. Which is it? Who am I supposed to believe here??

You also seem to give us information that has a certain meaning to you, but means nothing to me. What I mean is:
being a virgin isn't a character trait. You point out that his girlfriend was a virgin, and then he says the sex is good. So why were we told that she was a virgin? Why was this important? It's the same with Maya, his new mother. She had sex one time, and then got pregnant? Do you understand how unlikely that is? Is she going to be alone in raising her son? Is this a life he's used to? Or was he formerly a rich kid? Does her being black have anything to do with... anything? Or was I supposed to just assume the answers to the questions above, because she's black?

You put spotlights on kind of... useless information. Her being black doesn't matter. The reason she decided to keep her baby, even though she was raising him alone, is. We could've figured out in a different way that she was a black woman. 'Show, don't tell' is very important in a story, and the second chapter is a pretty good example as to why you don't just tell us stuff. We don't know what you know, so we don't know whats important, or why it's important.
Sorry that this was so long.

I guess I should post my story up for review. You don't have to leave a review on the page, you can post it here.
The Stolen Princess and the Blind Prince
It's a Historical Romance.
Summary: AhnAhn was royal property. A prize won when her country’s war against the emperor failed. Her mother and older brother were spared on one condition: if AhnAhn married the emperor's blind son Wulin.
Wulin was a curious young man, the product of the emperor and a concubine. He was pushed aside, forgotten and spurred by many within the palace. But being the emperor's son, he was well trained in martial arts, his blindness amplifying his senses. He found his fun blending amongst the common folk. Every night dressing up as a poor man, a common man, a noodle seller and the like.
Currently, he had the most fun disguising himself as a thief, he and his gang robbing carriages by candlelight.
Tonight, was the night AhnAhn would be delivered to the royal palace, and tonight AhnAhn's carriage was in his sights...

    Hi, my novel is called Exalted Warlock, I am open to review swaps, either send me a message or go right ahead with a review and I shall do the same.
    If you are wondering what my novel is about, then just think of it in the same vein as Age of Adepts or warlock in a magus world!
    Thanks!
    Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/13219997806168505/Exalted-Warlock

      Lilliny omo! That was an epic review XD.

      Thanks for taking the time. Just as the title stated, he's a playboy (that should explain a lot already, cuz I name it that for a reason, which goes well with my description of him.)

      And yeah, it's two chapter and just as how it's not enough to leave a review as you said; you shouldn't expect all those info you spoke of, to be out already. XD

      If you understand the content well, I stated that the he couldn't run away after taking the girl virginity and has been dating her. (He still remain promiscuous, but still didn't ditch the babe.)

      About female thing y; I'm a female XD, and I'm still trying to get a male proof reader.

      I understand girls won't like him that's why I switched to male genre haha. I don't expect him to be very likable and I expect that to have been cleared from the title itself. HE IS A PLAYBOY.

      Anyway, writing quality matter. Yup, I'm still learning, so I will work on what you said. (That's the only thing that's useful to me in this review. The rest is just girly rant on a cheating dude XD)

      I'm still building the story, u don't expect me to throw all the info you're talking about in two chapters. I wanted to do so at first, but I was told it's better to make him get reborn in the 1st or second chapter.

      I'm a reader myself and knows the right thing. What I should write in a book to make it understandable.

      Anyway thanks! I will review yours and thanks for reviewing here. I would have called the police if all this got shoved in my review section haha.

          Lilliny Now, if I'm to reply as a girl XD.

          I'm a female who has experience of cheating bfs as well, so I'm not encouraging cheating. Not that it will stop if I didn't anyway πŸ˜‚

          Like you said, he got stab in the heart, that's exactly what I feel deserving for dudes like that.

          Only few girls escape being cheated upon and bruh, I'm still hoping to meet any of those girls (they need to give me hint on how they escape it)

          It's a story okay? You don't expect me to make him kind and sweet, (I'm sure I will be questioned on the title later.πŸ˜‚)

          Even if it's my ml, he's gonna experience what I didn't get to do to those cheaters.

          I'm not an idiot. When I write a story, I do for a reason. Thanks!

              May1st
              Just giving him the title of playboy isn't enough though. There are sooo many different types of men, which means there's sooo many different types of playboys. You can't rely on tropes to get your characters across, you have to write your characters to get them across. Plus, this guy isn't a playboy, hes a sleazeball. I have no idea why we should be following him in the story. He's that irredeemable to me.
              I knew he said he couldn't leave her, but he also said he was in love with his girlfriend. The latter was a lie, so I just need to understand why he didn't just drop her once her fucked her? Did he catch feelings? Did she have a lot of money? Was she a trophy for him? You didn't explain it so I'm just... lost.
              Getting a male proof reader won't fix the problem of your protagonist. You've made it clear that you're basing this guy off of an ex. Why? Am I about to read you write your revenge porn?
              There are really fun ways to write an unlikable protagonist that we, the reader can get behind. Your main guy... he just needs to be re-written or something. Or... AT LEAST WRITE HIM GETTING STABBED SO WE FEEL THAT HE GOT WHAT HE DESERVED.
              He just pops out of Maya in the next chapter. Smh... so unsatisfying.

                  Lilliny and bruh, you're overstretching my words. What ex? LOL. I'm stating its based on real life experience. And yeah, not all guy are same, but hope to meet the 'not same ones' and gave them a trophy XD.

                  I learnt a lot from the review, thanks!

                      Lilliny I only read two chapters from your book before this.

                      The writing quality isn't the best, but clear enough to make readers understand the story you're telling, but that doesn't mean it didn't need some work to make it better.

                      I don't really understand what went wrong that made their family come to a ruin, but I guess it will be revealed in the later chapters.

                      The plot seems good, the catchy type to be exact. I love the dog and hope they wouldn't hurt him.

                      The story is good, but needs more description for better understanding, as it seems like the information is being shoved at us. It will be nice if you edit the first chapter, re read it and u will understand what I'm talking about.

                      Aside from those, whom aren't really big deal, everything is done well.

                      Since we didn't get to post our reviews under the novel, if you don't mind doing it, I have another novel which could use that help.

                      Feel free to speak your mind. Don't bother reviewing here. Either good or bad, leave the review there. Roast me, but please make it constructive.

                      I'm not sure if you're interested, but if you are, here's the link: https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/14321476906051305?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4305041843

                      Title: It started with a crush.

                      I will read few more chapter from your book to gain better understanding and review it.

                          May1st
                          How come I have to write like, 1k words, and I get like 100 in response. Please read the whole thing so you can get a whole picture, like I did.

                              Lilliny 100 in response? I don't understand, but I will read the story. It seems nice, but need some adjustment.

                              And also, I'm glad only 10 chapters are out, it will be easy to catch up with it.

                              I shortened my complaint so it wouldn't seem like revenge for getting roasted, but I will point out more in the comment, so you know what to fix, that's if you wish

                                  Lilliny now I understand what u mean by 1k and 100 in response.

                                  I'd rather wrote 1k word and earn money than force myself to rant when I don't have much to rant about. Also, for someone to fully go all out and complaining too much, they must be sure their book is okayish.

                                  1. Mine isn't, I'm still learning.
                                  2. Whatever I complain about must probably be in my book as well, so acting mighty with reviews is like embarrassing myself.

                                  Anyway, since u want total honesty; I will tell you this, work on that story again. You only have 10 chapters left, so it's cool.

                                  I'm not gonna read anymore. It gets more confusing as I read further. The first two chapters I spoke about earlier are even better.

                                  Since you said you just woke up when u wrote it, trying working on it again now that you're awake.

                                  Hopefully this comment and the first one I post can meet up to your 1k expectation. Goodluck in your writing!

                                      May1st
                                      Wow you are just throwing some shade. Thanks I guess.
                                      If you can't understand the English in my story, maybe you should read more books in English. It'll help.

                                          Lilliny like I said after starting the thread, I'm not gonna force myself to read something I didn't like because I swap review.

                                          Anyway, I don't understand what you mean by throwing shade. Like I said, your plot is a good one.

                                          If you're good at giving critics, learn to handle some as well.

                                              May1st
                                              Oh sorry, I thought you were giving back handed compliments. Well, never mind. It's ok if you don't like it! I thought you just couldn't understand my writing. Which is two way different things. Good luck with your story though, I've never read one quite like before.

                                                HI!!!!!!!
                                                I would like to recommend my novel, I'm an amatuer writer but still give it a chance it contains fantasy, romance, action and involves reverse harem.
                                                The Fallen and The Realm of Beasts
                                                https://www.webnovel.com/book/15089675606851205
                                                θ°’θ°’
                                                γ‚γ‚ŠγŒγ¨γ†γ”γ–γ„γΎγ—γŸ
                                                Thank you!!

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