New to Webnovel, thought I'd break the ice with a little game!

Let's share descriptions of characters in our novels! It doesn't have the be the MC, just any character that has a description. Then, let's critique the description of the author above. I'll start with one from my novel Rekka's Last Stand:

“We’ve found them!” Macy hollered cheerfully, and they quickly turned and rose from their seats with a youthful grace. The sun was in Silas’ eyes, so he couldn’t see them clearly until they came closer. As they did, he took in the appearances of four very distinct individuals.
One of them stuck out like a sore thumb. She was a tall - almost unnaturally tall – girl who stood well over anyone else in the group. Silas himself only went up to her shoulders. That being said, she was neither muscular nor skinny, and moved with a powerful but slender fluidity. Her hair was black with a definite purple tinge to it that the sun brought out in full. It was long and flowed easily in the wind. Despite being so tall, she wasn’t intimidating in the slightest. She drew Silas to her with a presence that reminded him of a warm fireplace. She introduced herself as Julia von Markov, No. 6. When she did, she put an enormous and callused hand on both Saya and his shoulders and told them both she would protect them. Her smile was warm and welcoming, and her eyes were pure and innocent. Saya beamed at her.

    Hello!

    Here’s my first impression:
    Julia seems seems like the nice, forgiving character type who encourages and supports others. Is there a background to her? Why is she unnaturally tall? You mentioned that she is No.6 - does that mean she is a robot? It’s confusing for me because I’m reading it out of context, but why did she say she will protect them? Does she feel responsible or is she ordered to? At the moment very little is revealed about her intentions (although I guess more will come later)

    ...
    Tessa

    His brows scrunched tightly as he assessed the girl before him. He couldn’t say she was particularly pretty. No, that was not it at all. Messy curls spilled over light freckles on tan cheeks; dry, chapped lips pursed tightly in a nasty scowl; and dull, soulless eyes glared from beneath greasy bangs.
    “What are you looking at,” she hissed.

    Chitawulf Haha, let me share the character description( Introduction) of my MC.

    It was a wide plaza, the boundaries of which were adorned with the statues of various creatures that roamed freely in the wild.

    There was an elevated platform on one end of the plaza on which sat an old man with his eyes closed.

    His head was full of white hair, a forehead filled with creases that seemed to have formed over the vicissitudes of time and a pair of deep dark brown eyes that looked as if it had gazed into the very depths of the universe.

    He had a sharp nose line that slowly inclined towards his mouth, a thin long beard that looked like two living dragons as they fluttered with the wind. His aged lips arched like a bow whose limbs were stretched taut followed by a long bushy beard.

    With such an ancient visage, every action of his, no matter how insignificant seemed to radiate pure unadulterated wisdom.

    This old man was the one who had lived the longest in their entire village, the most respected Elder, Elder Prakash.

        Great idea!

        Here is the description of the main love interest of my MC. She will become a beauty later in the story, but that's what she looks like at the moment:

        This young woman was lying in a wheelchair. Her legs looked like hairless chicken drumsticks. It was not just some stumps, but more like if the legs had stopped growing midway. If you had seen how ugly could be a nestling chick at birth, you could probably relate.

        She suffered from grave scoliosis, making her spine strangely twisted to the left. If it was the only asymmetrical detail it would have been fine, but she was as flat as a shopping board and her nose warped to the right this time.

        Her skin was not smooth at all. It appeared to be callous, rough like some badly made cow leather. She was obviously younger than him, but her skin was already showing early signs of wrinkling. Her long wavy hair was white like snow. Though, not the beautiful winter snow you imagined, but rather the one after someone peed on it. It was hard like straw but thin like the hair from an old hag.

        Damn, she was truly ugly!

        If there was something really unique that could redeem this somber description, that would be her eyes. She had different colored eyes. The left eye was a deep marine blue while the right one was amethyst-colored. It was just a detail, but Jake had never seen such eyes. It was enough to catch his attention.

        Despite her terrible appearance, her eyes were full of spirit. She didn't seem to care about how he scrutinized her, as if she had long been used to the reactions her physique could trigger. She determinedly moved her wheelchair to his reception desk.

        Edit: Still at work, but will comment when i'm home

        Overlord_Venus a thin long beard that looked like two living dragons as they fluttered with the wind. His aged lips arched like a bow

        I like this part - it’s very descriptive.

        an old man with his eyes closed.
        ...
        pair of deep dark brown eyes that looked as if it had gazed into the very depths of the universe.

        This didn’t make sense - how would anyone know his eyes’ colour when they’re closed?

            Overlord_Venus Oh okay I get it. It’s just confusing for the readers. The author can write with whoever’s perspective they want, but it is crucial for the writing to be made clear so the reader is able to understand. The point I want to make is that you aren’t talking about the character of the present, you are describing the character in another place/time.

            I’ll give you an example of what it felt to read that part:
            She zipped up her jacket as she shivered from the cold.
            When she looked up, she found that everyone was gone. Her heart beat rapidly.
            A cold breeze swept past. Her jacket fluttered in the wind. She clutched it tightly to her skin. But it was no use. The wind was too strong. With a roar the jacket was ripped off her shoulders.

            *if the jacket was zipped, how could it flutter in the wind and be ripped off?

                PREFACE
                CHARACTER INTRO
                CRITIQUE

                PREFACE
                Wow, OP! I love the concept of this thread! I’ll read up on Rekka’s Last Stand today or tomorrow. Looks great!

                CHARACTER INTRO
                Rivulets of sweat poured down the youth’s short, green hair and down his face, as white as ivory or scale-- almost unnatural. He allowed his form to falter for only a moment, righting his posture, though his labored breathing could not hide his fatigue. He noticed my staring and scowled with narrowed eyes.

                “Seven hells,” he cursed. “Get up, whelp.”

                He grabbed my hand and pulled me up with a lithe, muscled arm, his grip not gentle at the least. I somehow managed to stand, but my knees buckled, and I supported myself against the rough cavern wall. His youthful face twisted from annoyance to disdain, “Do you want to die?”

                He leaned his face forward, glaring with vivid yellow eyes, “Say so, now, so I can end your pathetic mewling.”

                I sniffed and consciously slowed my breathing. I needed to stop my sobbing, even if the hot tears would continue to flow. The sharp, throbbing pain pulsed from my bleeding side, cold and burning hot at the same time, “S-sir Tycondrius... I don’t think I can continue.”

                When I looked up, he’d already walked away. Peeking around the corner of the torchlit hallway, he raised a fist up, a hand signal that demanded absolute silence. I held my breath, fearing for my life.

                “I didn’t ask for your worthless opinion,” He said with his back turned. My heart skipped a beat. A crossbow bolt was embedded into his lower back, blood trailing down his leather armor.

                “Guild Invictus doesn’t leave its brothers and sisters behind,” he muttered.

                CRITIQUE
                So one of the largest difficulties of this thread is this concept: ‘Does your description add to the story?’ If I can summarize an entire page of text in one sentence, even if your verbiage is absolutely gorgeous, a reader can choose to skip over it all! This is an unfortunate and uncomfortable truth both for writers and other readers.

                (I’m breaking the rules and critiquing everyone because the thread is still small and because I love you all.)

                One of the cool things about Chitawulf’s, Arkinslize’s, and Icesnowball‘s descriptions is that they all use a very opinionated viewpoint. With the observer’s POV, the reader is strongly inclined to feel similar, promoting a sense of closeness and identity with the narrator.

                @Chitawulf is able to use descriptions like ‘unnaturally tall’ and ‘not intimidating in the slightest’ and ‘reminded him of a warm fireplace?’ The action minutiae of the sun being in Silas’ eyes adds to the “realism” of the scene. Very nice.

                @Arkinslize takes the opinionated narration a step further. Absurd descriptions like likening a crippled girl’s legs to hairless chicken drumsticks, her skin like poor quality leather, and her hair to piss-ridden snow, adds a... complex layer to the reading.

                @IceSnowball ‘s description is absolutely perfect. It’s short, incredibly descriptive, to the point, and transitions to action.

                @Overlord_Venus ‘ description is out of-- what, your first chapter? Your first few chapters are sooooo slow. But the pacing is wonderful because when the action starts in a few chapters, I quickly began to miss the low-stakes banter of the ML/FL pair and the poetic descriptions of family life.

                Great job, Authors! Let’s all work hard, together.

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