This is a typical script format (for screen, in this example)
The two most important components are Action and Dialogue. Action is what can be heard or seen by the audience, for example descriptions of settings, character movements, or sound effects.
When I reviewed your book, I had the impression that you had a very clear visualization of a scene played out in your head, which you then wrote down in a great detail. This is good and all, and I think you have knack of meticulously listing things that plays out in your head.
I said your story was more like a screenplay, because it is very possible to re-format, word by word, the Undead World story into a screenplay and the two version would still be exactly the same but in different formats.
I wouldn't say it's good or bad if a novel was written in this way. However, I personally feel that, for a novel, there needs to be something more because Action and Dialogue are, in essence, a blueprint, not the final product.
I will give you a (painful) example of mine. I had written a long ass epic fan-script (fanfic, but in script format) for Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, only to later realize FanFiction does not accept screenplays. So I re-wrote the whole thing as a novel
Here's a side-by-side comparison. Right is the original script that I had written, left is the novelized txt