1st_Manga_KING
link it next time, I'm lazy as a Cheeto, and a Cheeto can't move, y'know.

    1st_Manga_KING

    problems with writing and tropes. also use the author's notes, it's there for a reason.

      AuHNG
      Can I ask you one thing though, as I've heard some of these critiques before, but regarding the story progression, how big of a turn off is it for you as a reader that it's slow? Or that it is unclear at this point where it's headed?

        1st_Manga_KING

        your novel has a similar beginning to two webtoons I read, something about princesses, a father who's kind of a douche, and a sexist society that the fl has to change.

        I didn't like reading them.

        Anyways, I dunno, I'll continue reading maybe later. Chapter 6 right now.

          lilGoat

          No, I wouldn't say it's terrible, as I'd probably continue reading your novel out of all the novels I read so far. Still I get bored really quickly.

          Maybe make it 1.5 times faster.

            lilGoat

            I suffer from slow progression too, but it's mainly because I have 60 chapters already written that I'm currently polishing, and everything I'm writing is filler as I finish doing that.

              nishidurani

              I don't read locked novels, but it seems like your last novel is decently popular with 200 collections, which is pretty great.

                nishidurani

                Tell me one book to read specifically, and I'll add it to my collection, but I am too tired to read four books right now.

                  Pakohoshino29

                  Chapter 1: Don't do this.

                  If you're going to do this, make it a bit more interesting, like maybe add their favorite foods or something.

                  You don't want character cards.

                  Or,

                  if you want something interesting, maybe write one chapter where you incorporate all those character traits. But whatever, since you already done that, all I'm saying is make that character list more interesting.

                    AuHNG
                    I understand that we have different preferences. Still I appreciate the time you spent reading it. At least you think my writing was not bad, which was what I was going for.
                    This is my first time to write, so I am still trying to get the feel of it. Developing my style and trying to gauge the interest of the readers. I am slowly learning from the critics and suggestions that I am getting from people like you who are not afraid to say the truth.
                    I was not expecting it to be phenomenal, but if I could entertain a few readers, then it would be great. I still want to give quality books that is worthy of a person’s time, so I really wanted to improve on it.
                    Thanks again for saying your opinion about it.

                      Pakohoshino29

                      Don't write in present for novels, except for certain scenarios, first person perspective, and interpersonal/command usages. Novels generally should be with past tense. Present tense is very exposition-heavy, like someone is describing something to you, versus actually being immersed in the novel itself.

                      Anyways, I'll continue reading before I add any further critique

                        bishop1275

                        Also that, plus romance is like a genre that I over-read. I've read at least a hundred webtoon this year, and around 50 novels? Anyways, a good majority of them have romance. I would say that only a handful are romance-oriented and I actually enjoyed.

                        Try to see which romance novels you really like and emulate their style.

                        Also stay away from tropes.

                        Pakohoshino29

                        advice replace said with different words occasionally. Not gonna say anymore, until I read more.

                          Pakohoshino29

                          I skipped to the latest chapters and they show extreme development in grammar and writing abilities, but the beginning is really hard to get through. Seems like the development is good tho. I really suggest for now, going back and editing past chapters.

                            Luna_Mermaid1

                            Your blurb feels like a summary for a book report rather than an actual blurb.

                            Anyways, gonna continue reading.

                              Luna_Mermaid1

                              Your writing has developed a style which is good, I can immediately see that in the first few paragraphs.

                              bad news is that some parts are still awkward strung together.

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