Luna_Mermaid1

Your blurb feels like a summary for a book report rather than an actual blurb.

Anyways, gonna continue reading.

    Luna_Mermaid1

    Your writing has developed a style which is good, I can immediately see that in the first few paragraphs.

    bad news is that some parts are still awkward strung together.

      Luna_Mermaid1

      Characters are pretty distinct from another, but I really don't want to read another romance, so I might continue it later. added to collection.

        Anotoki

        It's not bad, but some syntax errors.

        First few chapters were not it tho.

          AuHNG Yes, I'm so inspired and a fan of Heaven. is it because it has the same element? It's fine if you don't like it, tho. I just want to know 😊 I'm good with that, also I'll edit the blurb, and I'm still improving my writing. thank you for checking it out!

            AuHNG Would love to see how this fares Link

            It is not my locked book. It is a book I wrote almost a year ago. Also added your book to my library

              AuHNG not even sure. I'm going to have to take a look at that

                sharrnister

                I was reading really fast, but I'll see if it improves, good luck!

                I was a really bad writer when I started writing, everyone is constantly improving.

                sharrnister

                one thing I recommend is working with an outline, and not making the romance cringy.

                That's all I can say, cause tbh, most romance is cringy to me lol.

                  Overlord_Venus

                  pretty cool.

                  How come it doesn't have more views?

                  I guess it's harder to get noticed on web novel now after they started promoting mostly featured novels.

                    Overlord_Venus

                    Oh, your novel got restricted, I think.

                    That's probably why.

                    You might want to appeal with web novel or something.

                      AuHNG thank you for your opinion, yea tbh the first chap to me is cringy lmao but thank you again

                      AuHNG thank you for your opinion, yea tbh the first chap to me is cringy lmao but thank you again

                      Hi! Why don't you try this one!
                      alernatetext

                      When a mundane, idyllic life is finally disrupted by approaching death, unraveling memories, strange conversations, and blossoming love.
                      June is your typical high school loner who prefers to use her astronomical brain to question the world than learn how to make friends. Others think she's spoiled, snobbish, arrogant, but within her is three years' worth of forgotten memories she cannot pull to the surface and strings of complexities from being an adopted child. However, one day as she winds up on her haunted territory to eat lunch, she sees a rather unexpected presence; the school's dreamy hero, Daire, who seems to be hiding a life-changing mystery.

                      https://www.webnovel.com/book/death-is-beautiful..._18788658906170105

                        AuHNG I can totally agree on what you said. I will edit the chapters. Thank you for the advice!

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