Epyonnn

I don't think is the best example of 'language skills' for somebody who doesn't know American and English literature (most people here don't). Orwell really thought about the language. Of course, he wrote it as a classic novel, using the classic structure model.
His books are constantly alive in culture, pop culture, and in many of its aspects. He has inspired and inspires many writers, painters, musicians and filmmakers. Whether you like it or not, you often come across references to Orwellian visions in your life, but only in Western culture.
The most important is the theme of totalitarian systems, unit manipulation theme, war theme, enslavement theme, power motive, rebellion theme, destruction theme, love theme, betrayal theme, the motive of indoctrination (indoctrination is the systematic, continuous inculcation of some political or social ideas)
1984 is a futuristic dystopia with numerous political overtones, showing the times of ruthless totalitarianism, not an example of 'language skills'...
It is worth remembering about this type of thing when passing knowledge to people from other cultures.

Jo_J Okay, I understand your point

Sara_Wilcox

Wow... ok, I sure didn't expect that.
Thanks, Sara. As an author, I'll try not to disappoint. sigh somehow the weight on my back got heavier...
I've implemented most of the changes you suggested. I still find that "ember" - "amber" thing profoundly confusing. Although, I know you are right. I wonder why I didn't catch this before... sigh Ah well, no matter.

Thanks again, I'll try to get to yours as soon as possible. Gotta finish Darkie's review. I should get to yours by mid next week at the latest.

Epyonnn Hi!! You let a comment and i wanna ask if MY GRAMMAR IS THE WORST? I mean you know.... ⊙﹏⊙

wewee
The worst?

Sara_Wilcox Oh, I hope you don't mind me deleting your grammar and wording comments. I'll keep the others tho :)

Yoan_Roturier No problem Make sure you’re doing your own stuff before everyone else’s though(sleep, eat, write, etc..).

And don’t fret so much. Your work is good, otherwise I wouldn’t have been so complimentary.

And to help with the confusion:

Ember- A spark or small flame

Amber- Color, or also a mineral

Or if you meant you’re not sure why it said amber instead of ember(my bad): autocorrect maybe? I write on my phone, and that is a constant struggle. I’ll get like a paragraph away from another, and it’ll change things like ‘they’ to ‘the’, or ‘reins’ to ‘rains’. Very frustrating.. Keep your head up dear; you’re doing good so far. Both with your writing, and helping out all of us

Yoan_Roturier you go right ahead and delete them(the notes).

@wewee I've read a few chapters of your novel, and I just wanted to say upfront that your synopsis is amazing. The cover looks rough but simultaneously clean, and I love it. It really made me want to read your story until I actually pulled up the first chapter and had immense difficulty understanding the sentences.

Unfortunately, grammar is a big problem among new writers here, but I can't really give any advice for that other than to get grammar-checking software and practice writing A LOT. To arrive at where I am now, I've written four novels in the past, but I can assure you that everyone starts off with tons of mistakes. Just practice, and you'll get better eventually.

Now, I want to talk about the story itself. The prologue is intriguing, but I feel that it would be much more impactful if it was told from the perspective of the undead girl. Of course, this is a personal suggestion, and I don't want you to feel obligated to write your book the way that I want, considering that I'm not the author. Honestly, I feel that the prologue can be fine the way that it is, but the synopsis was described from the perspective of the undead girl, and I feel that readers would be much more drawn into the prologue if it was also from the undead girl's POV, especially since your synopsis one your best selling points. It's really just a continuity thing,.

Following the prologue, you had a couple of chapters of people talking in a school. It's the classic mysterious/tension-filled prologue that leads into a stale beginning. It's okay to start off slow, but at least make it entertaining. It might just be the grammar messing with my head, but I feel that the newly introduced characters don't make much of an impact. I suggest introducing only a couple of key characters at a time in a memorable fashion so that the reader can really let the information sink in. Flashy entrances are always the best, but that doesn't mean that a character has to run in guns blazing.

Still, your first few chapters weren't terrible and you have a really cool concept. I think that the only thing you're missing is more practice.

SlyHand I'll give it a read. It's short, so I can probably get a review fairly quickly. Also, I like how Gojou is your book cover lol.

SpilledInk No joke! The only criticism I can give is I enjoyed your book or I did not enjoy reading the book, I am not sure why.
But these are intense, gammer, cover, synopsis, they are covering everything

SpilledInk No joke! The only criticism I can give is I enjoyed your book or I did not enjoy reading the book, I am not sure why.
But these are intense, gammer, cover, synopsis, they are covering everything

Dark_Scholars
You got some point but it wouldn't help the author about where he or she needed to improve...

Dark_Scholars
You got some point but it wouldn't help the author about where he or she needed to improve...

Epyonnn Thanks :D Really appreciate it. And yeah, Gojo is awesome :D

Sara_Wilcox Thank you I'll try and make changes like that fast.