RedSonia Idk why, lol this also happen before to someone I was reviewing too. I think my review was very well though out. Webnovel must not like it....I'm just glad that you're able to see it.

      Brandongould

      At first glance, I get the feeling that this story was planned using a highly detailed outline. Brandon Sanderson has a great lecture on outlines vs. "winging it", and he basically says that highly outlined stories have strong plots but underdeveloped characters--they become set pieces to be moved around in order to move the plot forward. Writers that "wing it" often have characters that are well fleshed out to the point of feeling "real", however their plots can lack focus and sometimes feel disorienting. In the second chapter, for instance, there are so many locations and names that its hard to get a sense of of where I am and what's going on.

      I did, however, focus on Emma and her rather cold parting from her father. In just one paragraph that gave me quite a gut-punch. Moments like these are highly worth exploring. I recommend using a more limited narrator to not directly inform the reader what Emma is feeling, but to hint and suggest through little actions and thoughts; a tear that forms at the edge of her eyes and she bites down on her lip until it goes away. Or how she crosses her arms tight even though there's no wind. Little actions like these provide amazing clues to how a characters feeling and invites readers to make their own guesses.

      You have a nice balance between dialogue and action, but one thing that I see missing is reflection. These moments of reflection and description let readers digest the information a bit. I would recommend switching to a more limited narrator, one that allows us to enter into the character's minds and get close to their feelings.

      If you're looking to improve as a writer, get a copy of John Gardner's "The Art of Fiction". I've found that an absolutely critical tool for my own writing and the principles in that book are, I think, a must read for anyone that's serious about improving.

      Keep up the awesome work and thanks again for reviewing my story!

          Hello! Review swap, everyone? Thank you! ^ _ ^

          P.S. I have finished editing the chapter and new chapters would be published soon! ^ _ ^

          Don't forget to vote, comment, and add to the library! ^ _ ^

          alernatetext

          Title: Scarlette Overland
          Genre: Fantasy Romance, Action, Mystery
          Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/scarlette-overland_19923920306012005

          Synopsis
          What is the SECRET behind her name?

          “Is it just plain curiosity on your part that is why you are pestering me all over again? If that is the case then, why not uncover the mysteries that surround me all by yourself if you are that eager to know?”

          A mysterious and powerful adventurer within the whole Empire has a deep secret and that secret is known only by her and no one else. But what will happen if her secrets are slowly being revealed by the people who are hunting her from her past? What will she do?

          Scarlette Overland, the famous solo SSS-rank adventurer from Silveria Empire, the largest and most powerful Empire within the Miris Continent. A lone adventurer who prefers working solo missions rather than taking someone else or joining a party for certain reasons.

          She is an enigma to all her fellow adventurers and all of the people who knew her because no one has ever seen her real face as she kept it hidden underneath the mask she is wearing and only her unique crimson-lilac eyes that can be seen. Her identity is unknown.

          There is a reason for it. She’s hiding a SECRET. A SECRET that can only be known by her and no one else.

          But there is a saying that; ‘All secrets are bound to be revealed’

          A certain mission request that she took out of a whim and because of that, for the first time, she took a completely foreign adventurer to be her first-ever companion and along the way, old and new enemies are appearing one by one and her secrets are slowly going to be revealed and this time, Scarlette needs to face the greatest challenges that would come to her life.

          Are you ready to unveil the mysteries and secrets of her past?

          Winter Scarlette Vermilion
          @empressblackrose09

          EXCERPT:

          After some minutes had passed, the man chuckled as he closed the report details of the person he is looking for and a smirk appeared on his lips as he speaks.

          “You are still the same as before. What a smart choice of choosing a name for you to hide. That is one of the aspects that I loved you the most”

          His sparkling jade long hair shines underneath the moonlight from where he stands and as he turned around to looked at his aide, his mismatched golden-silver eyes had a glint of happiness and sadness at the same time as he continued.

          “Make sure to send someone to protect her in the shadows at all cost. Those people who are looking for her tried everything to block all the information about her. I won’t let them touch her again, are we clear?”

          His voice screams authority as he said those orders to his aide and the said aide knew what his master meant and he complied.

          “As you wish Your Excellency”

          After that, the aide left his master alone on the balcony and the man once again looked outside to collect his thoughts as he sighed.

          “I finally found you, Scarlette Overland. My fierce Wife. My Empress”

            ranmaro hello. I checked your novel and saw it is about system. Don't mind but i don't read system and superhero novels. So i might not be able to give an appropriate review. So i think it will better if we don't do this swap.🙂 but thnx for asking.

              My Ghost Hunter System

              Genre: Fantasy (System)

              Tags: Action, System, R18, Antihero MC, Urban, Weak-to-strong, Game Elements, Dungeons, Apocalypse, Sci-Fi

              Synopsis:

              "The hell? Ghosts? Ha, as if."

              Finn Thresher was no different from the average university student at first. He was a man who strongly believed in science and was stubborn enough to reject all things paranormal.

              That is, until his first encounter with a Ghost.

              It ravaged his home. Slaughtered his family. Took away everything he had. And now, it was coming for him too.

              But in the claws of death and desperation, a single voice whispered to him inside his head.

              [Do you seek vengeance, host?]

              [Do you wish to draw blood for blood?]

              [Do you hope to exterminate every Ghost remaining in existence?]

              In that moment, Finn made his irreversible decision.

              "... I do. I'll kill every single one of them until none are left."

              [Very well. The power is now yours.]

              [Ghost Hunter System: Activated.]

              And so begins the tale of Ace, Bane of Phantoms.

              Link: My Ghost Hunter System

              Ascension: Online Cover

              Does anyone want to review swap?

                Plz support me, I am new here, plz check out my Bl WE ARE INSEPARABLE FOREVER orWIF
                Plz leave comment and support🥰🥰

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