Quasy Hi I decided to have a read through all of your chapters available so far. I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed the story so far. It took me a little while to reply to you as I read through them all, so I pretty much dedicated my night to it. I'm going to be leaving you a review I thought it would only be right doing so, after I have read through all of your story like I have others. Plus it works out giving you a boost in the process.
So to start off I will mention the things to focus on and then ill go into the amazing things your story holds. First off commas are your friend, they really help break up sentences allowing the reader to know when the pauses are. The next thing I would mention would be that you think about your story and its moving pieces really quickly ending up thinking faster then you can write it out. I would recommend just reading each chapter before release to make sure the flow of the chapter is there. That's just advice though, I tend to do that for my own work. However a different method might work better for you.
The earlier chapters were really good at showing the impact the games launch had on the world I really enjoyed how that developed. The progression into the later chapters felt really cohesive and flowed well into one another. Reading this was quite natural in the way the plot unfolds.
The way you write your characters is incredible, lots of depth and detail. Clearly showing their personalities traits and aspirations. Made them feel like real people. Further on this note I adore you let the npcs of the game world have the same level of sentience as the players. Gives it the charm overgeared had for its npcs. The teacher mentor dynamic was really well established, I really enjoyed seeing Saleen getting the recognition she deserves. Terminology used in lectures and describing fights is very good in my opinion. Also the way you play off of all of the characters showing their interactions with each other is done so well, making them feel really three dimensional. I have to say I love Mel and Bel probably my favorite characters so far really developed and full of life. Was really fun reading through the chapters their involved with. Cant wait to see the future plot points with them.
The world building is excellent, you have a knack for planting unique seeds followed by great ideas and execution makes it a joy to guess what hint your showing will develop into. Loved the descriptions and names used for the setups of certain areas followed by their own unique ecosystem and functions. The world events are delivered really well, creating tension and forming stakes that make the overall reading process more enticing.
Your protagonist is well developed with a clear thought in mind for how you want him to be. I like the how he's more of a study kid in comparison to most tropes out there. Allows for a more logical mindset on viewing the world. Which I clearly see viewing into your protagonists lens. His personality is well developed, allowing him to feel alive and his actions feel real for someone in his position. The uniqueness you've managed to imbue into him is really good, the powers he wields are very versatile allowing for a lot of creative freedom with it which you have already displayed. I like his thought out nature relying more on logic then emotion, focusing more on his own goals rather then the chaos of other peoples opinions. The weapons you've decided to give him are so creative in my opinion, I'm wondering if you were inspired by the trick tower scene in hunter hunter to pick those weapons.
Overall, this story was very addictive to read. Great descriptions, incredible character writing and seamless flow between each chapter. With cliffhangers and plot seeds making me want to stay and read more. Safe to say this one was hard to drop. Ill be keeping up to date with your releases, cant wait for more of Wyatts adventures. If you would like to exchange ideas or would like more feedback or criticism add me on my writing discord if you like NocturnOwl#0230. Expect a review soon ;D
