Webnovel.Forum

NancyRomance So, gave it a read through. I'll put it bluntly. There's not a lot of substance, descriptions of events and interactions are lacking, and (this is my opinion at least), it's cliched to all hell.

But it's not all bad. I, for one, like the writing style. With a little work, it could be a very nice, yet somewhat disconnected, style of narration. Its just lacking in actual content and dialogue.

Try thinking as Nancy does, i.e. what does she see, and with what colors/filters? (when I say filters, I mean what is her worldview, how does she perceive things. Give her more depth). You kinda do through simple exposition, but it would be more impactful if she said something, raged, cried, or laughed it all off. Without those kinds of reactions, your character just feels dull and lifeless (that said, there are some styles where the entirety of a character's life is simply told as exposition, but I don't know about the main character. Seems a little off).

Kudos, hardly any grammatical errors (mostly punctuation/spacing, nothing blatant). Unsurprisingly, a lot of the threads started with this exact topic are full of 'em.

TL;DR: Try out some dialogue (unless that's not your style, then don't bother), and imagine yourself in the shoes of your characters.