Honestly considering that was the first novel you ever posted it was pretty good. I have no doubt you’ve gained more experience from writing it and if you plan on writing another novel, I’ll look forward to it.
Now that I got the courtesies out of the way, I now need to say this.
-Details to story
-fixes grammar, especially with commas and the like
-no Stone unturned
-and world background
This is my final advice for this novel and possible advice for future ones. It is up to you whether you understand it or not. I made it so open because I understand that out writing styles are different, so I want to see where you will go with this. And if you don’t plan on making a new novel, that’s okay ok. I will support your decision all the way