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GMSJakers I'll look at your book. I will try to give feedback in the next few days.

f0011 Give me a link to the book, let's see what you have there.

Yoan_Roturier I can try. Give me a link to the book, let's see what you have there.

Hello. As an experiment, I decided to make a translation of my book. https://www.webnovel.com/book/the-cosmic-adventurers_21799040606013705 Classic serious science fiction in the old style. Future technologies, research, secrets of the universe, riddles of history, exciting space battles and adventures, just a little bit of romance. I will be glad to see your feedback. It is possible to exchange reviews, if it would be interesting to me. But I ask you to take into account that I do not exclusively praise in the reviews, but write what I think. If I don't like the book, I say it directly and explain why. I ask the same from you - write what you want, most importantly, be sincere.

Darth_Xiane Thank you so much for clarifying this question!

in order for the book to be good and read, first of all, you need an interesting story, well-written characters, interesting descriptions and some features of uniqueness, something that readers will not find in other authors. And who are the heroes there - men, women, or green dinosaurs - is not so important. However, even if your book has all of the above, it is also not a guarantee that it will be read.

Greetings, writers and readers. I have uploaded a book in Russian, a genre of science fiction, to Webnowel. I want to manually translate into English. The reason: is that machine translation translates many words and phrases very inaccurately, without taking into account the meaning context. Because of this, the meaning component is distorted.

The main question: in Russian there are two forms of the pronoun "you" for communicating with the interlocutor: "you" in the sound of "ty" (it sounds like communicating with one person) and "you" in the sound of "vy" (it sounds like communicating with two or more interlocutors at one time). The single form "ty" is considered colloquial, acceptable in the circle of friends, relatives and acquaintances. The plural form "vy" is considered respectful, it is used for official, business communication. According to the plot of the book, the society abolished the "respectful" plural form "vy" when communicating with one person, and you can communicate with all single interlocutors only through the colloquial form "ty", despite their age and position in society, only their number matters. There is a moment in the book when the protagonist meets an ancient artificial intelligence created long before the abolition of the plural form "vy". Because of this, there is a misunderstanding between the hero and the AI, which they explain during the dialogue. Everything reads logically in Russian. But in English, only the pronoun "you" (an analogue of the Russian plural form "vy") is valid for communicating with the interlocutor. And in the English version, this dialogue loses its meaning and sounds like complete nonsense - two different pronouns are replaced by one identical one. In English there is a pronoun "thou", similar to the Russian "single" form "ty", but today it is practically not used in English.

here is the same fragment translated by machine translation without correction:

//

• By yourself? - I did not understand. - I'm alone here.

-Who was thrown to me? - asked a voice a little surprised. Haven't you heard of polite treatment?

I thought a little ... Oh yes, politeness. One of the first decrees of the Founders, a thousand years ago, was the complete abolition of the reference to "you" in society. Since then, turning to "you" regardless of age, posts and positions has become the norm. And for those who sometimes again require such treatment to themselves, they apply measures. From simple suggestion to exile, if someone did not understand the first time. This is one of the means to prevent the "boss syndrome". And his detector is not bad.

-I am here alone, and there is no need to talk to me as if there are two of me here. This is somehow ... illogical.

-Good. I will go to meet you, the voice agreed. -Let's go to "you" if you ... you ... it's easier for you. I see you are in a quandary.

//

You see how ridiculous this is. The quote as a whole is not translated quite correctly from the point of view of meaning, but it is the confusion with pronouns that is most noticeable - they should be different, but replaced by one. Machine translation is a cool and convenient thing, but without manual verification and correction, it often gives out nonsense.

What is the best thing to do in this situation?

1. Subdivide the form "you" into the forms "you" and "thou", depending on the number of interlocutors, similar to the Russian forms "vy" and "ty"

2. Hide this language moment, remove the same dialogue between the protagonist and the AI, and in all write "you", as is customary in English now.

This plot point with the abolition of the plural form "vy" is not of critical importance, it is an element of the atmosphere that separates two societies in the book in time - the old and the new formations. But it is used throughout in the book.

Ferrarius Hello. In my experience, it is better to write the way you are interested and the way you see fit. If you write for reasons of what is now "on the crest of a wave", then you will surely get another "soap" from the series "read, yawned and forgot". Question- is a man or a woman more suitable for the main role? If you don't have romance, but, let's say, action with fighting and severe physical trials, then a man is more suitable for the main role. On average, men are much stronger than women physically and more stable psychologically. But if you want to put a woman in the main role in the action genre, you need to competently and logically justify her abilities so that they do not seem like cheats from computer games. If the main character in the "combat" genre is a woman, then it is desirable that she defeat enemies not by force and onslaught, but by intelligence, cunning, dexterity, traps, use the effect of surprise, distraction and other dishonest techniques. The preferred weapon is remote or capable of changing its length. A female hero in the fighting genre should be similar in behavior to a ninja. Then her victories over stronger enemies will not seem illogical and the writer's desire to make his heroine strong at any cost. In short, the main character should be natural in his environment, and who he is, a man or a woman, is not so important. Don't try to please everyone at once, it's impossible. Write the way you like, and then other people will like your book. It is better to have a small but constant audience of readers than to follow what is happening "on the crest of a wave".