LuoYeYouLing
Not a problem, Luo Ye.
Thanks for the constructive reply back.
You can use ass if you want, I just don't know how tied your hands are when it comes to these matters. For me in my story, my hands are pretty tied. That's all.
If you're aiming for the adult group, find something that will resonate to them. One night stands? Headache after drinking? Hmm. This can apply to 14+ year olds too. Walk of shame? Okay, hitting more towards college age people. Anything else readily apparent to connect with?
Sorry about the sociopath. I'm not saying that she is a sociopath, but that she displays profiles that a sociopath might have. I'm not saying she'll be a killer or anything. Sociopaths, in general, tends to display signs of shallow emotions, incapable of loving, need to find stimulation, impulsive nature, and things like early behavioral problems. It's not a bad thing, but it's there.
When you said, If you keep reading, everything would eventually be linked.
<-- What would be there to draw me in, to keep me reading? I don't mean for it to sound harsh, but I'm asking you, what is your hook to draw readers in to read past chapter one?
I agree that revealing everything in chapter 1 isn't a good idea, but you can make suspense without bringing up the villain. Here, I'll give you another resource,. This site says:
Suspense arises out of your readers’ anticipation of, and worry and fear about, what’s going to happen next. You create suspense by making your readers fear the worst for a character they care deeply about.
Make me care about your character. Make me invest into her. I understand there's only so much you can do in chapter 1 only, but your information of her background listed her like a client meeting up with an insurance agent. It's very formal, and I can't bring myself to connect with her.
Start with action; explain it later (Garfield). “To encourage the reader to turn to page 2, give him drama on page 1 – conflict, trouble, fear, violence.” Necessary background can be established in Chapter 2.
So that whole backdrop of info dump about our main character? Yeah, that could wait until chapter 2. It's been 3 months since she had physical contact? That's an explanation. It could be in chapter 2. I hope that site will help you a bit too.
I do believe that your story is worth it, but you've got to sell it. In chapter 1. Make me want to journey with her to chapter 2. Then Chapter 3. Then chapter 30+. Slow starts aren't bad, but be sure to string me along the way. Give me breadcrumbs to follow.