Gayu2594

The first chapter was interesting. Then the second chapter was suddenly three years later? ...whyyyy?

      Jin_Daoran The first chapter is just a prologue... it's a glimpse into how she was as contrast to how she is now...

          Gayu2594

          The sudden change is a little jarring. I mean, the character in the first chapter...I'd read the heck out of her storyline; she just burst out of the scene in an interesting way. Much more than the character in the second chapter.

          If you're contrasting though...
          This is a case of the backstory being more captivating, haha!

          For a romance novel...you could have put an incidental meeting with the ML in the first chapter.

          Here's a possibility: ----They don't know each other. They won't remember each other. But for a single second their eyes met, and that was a moment that they both could not forget.

          Then cut to three years later, with 'Why can't I forget those eyes?'----

          Something like that.
          Then the first and second chapters have a definite connection.

              Jin_Daoran i know what you mean... i used it in the next story i am working on... the same exact scenario you just came up with... she will just remember his eyes...
              But for this story i just wanted that very formal awkward first meeting in front of parents and everyone but then how they tackle it and get past it... a typical arranged marriage meeting...
              That first chapter is just part of the MC character development and not part of their relationship development...
              I did not wanted it to be fate bringing them together all over again kinda thing...
              And MC will have a wild and explosive kinda past... i am planning to write on it as side story of sorts... it wont have ml in it...

                  If you read quotes about solitude, you can write a new novel, one of the quotes from the network - no one is alone in his loneliness.

                  Be simpler and people will reach for you. If you have questions, go to the forum, they will answer you, help you with advice.

                  Good luck in your work!

                  Gayu2594

                  aha, nice! then great minds think alike? haha...

                  eh, it's a romance story though...wouldn't the character development necessarily involve the two main leads? if it's a story about two people falling in love, it would be a more interesting story that both begin to see things in a different light because of their counterpart? otherwise, if both develop an grow without the other's intervention, what's the point of putting them in the same story, much less making it a romance?

                  flashbacks are tricky, if you're going to use the method for your side story. wishing you luck!

                      Jin_Daoran i get it what your trying to say... but when i first started writing this story- it was an escape.. i did not even think about finishing it let alone publishing it for someone to read... so by the time i realised what was happening the whole story started to revolve around the female character... it couldn't bring in the balance between the characters properly because i was already too deep into the story...
                      Both will change eachother but since both will be very mature on their own footing the changes will be rather subtle... ml actually wont have much baggage... he will be like a pillar for her...
                      I am actually trying to rectify this in the next story i am planning on...

                          Gayu2594

                          hey, at least you're committed to getting better...
                          are you going to put your next story on webnovel?
                          tell me if you do! i'll check it out for sure

                              ShikadaAki
                              ho, that was certainly an explosive beginning. nice.
                              the punctuation, spelling, and grammar though....bombed.

                              ah? the second chapter is 200 years later?
                              ...

                                Jin_Daoran yes... i am planning to write the next one... the title is Rich brat... i published 2 chapters so far... but i am planning on regular updates after nov 10 after piling up some more chapters...

                                    Kamlyn i will as soon as i can... just that my exams are going on now.. so it might take another week or so since i am not really good at putting down a story once i started...
                                    Thanks for the review...
                                    Hope you liked it...

                                      welcome here though i am new too.

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