Third chapter
Wow so blind, magician, extrasensory, like people X? Interesting!
A hero on a white horse, save the princess! A typical move, but this is a romantic story, it could not be otherwise. The poor tiger was left without dinner.
I need an honest review of the first 4 reviews I can write SWAP
Chapter four
Surprisingly, it is easy to read, almost everything is written, apart from minor inaccuracies, or rather, some words are first encountered for me, well, thanks for Yandex!
Chapters are short, but it's better than chapters that are too long. To the best of general.
An incomprehensible dialogue, apparently the dream of the main character? Departure for a happy past, memories?
Pride? Revenge? But interesting...
Fifth chapter
It is interesting how the classics were right when they said that the woman’s heart (I hope this is not sexism?) Is changeable - from hate to love, one step. And is it the enemy who killed her father, or just the enemy who enslaved her country and still she is ready to jump into his arms? It’s not logical, but in novels that just doesn’t happen.
Interesting Asian names and European? Or no, wait a second maid’s name is not a European name, oh and not typically Chinese?
Interestingly in Japan there are onsen? Do they also exist in China or Korea? Thinking out loud.
Lava??? There the temperature is from 500 to 2500 degrees Celsius, everyone would be welded and there would not even be a crust !!! Maybe just bitter sources? Why is lava needed at all? Is there any peculiarity in this? Secret? Will lava still be used in the novel?
Wow, is she still thinking about her grandchildren? Is mother really alive? Trying to joke yet? Very strange behavior ...
Nephews? Nieces? Doesn't she know if his brother is still alive? Oh, something is very strange.
Sixth chapter
An unexpected cominch character, apparently, to dilute the story. Deadlines, a story about children scares ... the text here becomes not entirely clear, as in the first chapters. It seems like it's just raw without editing. Since the text is not so clear and smooth. Therefore, the reader may have the wrong impression of why the children are mentioned.
The main character is the same mysterious author from the kingdom?
Seventh chapter
I wonder what kind of expression is "angry eyelids"?
It seems that the Chinese idiom below the tiger can probably be applied here, at the top the tiger, how wonderful life is!
Dark green rain? Is it really Robin Hood? Cliché, a lot of cliché and compilations from other works, such a first impression is formed. It may be erroneous.
Is it not too typical that the heroine wanted the one she met once in her life, who wanted to rob her, something looks a lot like romatic - knightly novels for ladies, where noble robbers, bandits, pirates gallantly relate to the lady ...
Eighth chapter
Well, it doesn’t seem quite understandable ... there are a lot of strange dialogues ... if he is the head of the robbers, he must be bold, decisive, only then would people follow him. And here he behaves like a teenager who does not know how to say that he is getting married. It’s strange.
- Edited
Chapter nine
I wonder if the city has no night watch? Each pub usually holds its own organized crime group or under the guise of a secret police. Only idiots can start trouble in a city where there is a palace with imperial offspring.
It is possible in the province, but not under the walls of the palace. For there is a security guard, secret police, informants, the robbers would be immediately buried in the cellars of the secret chancellery. And suddenly these are not robbers but spies, provocateurs, murderers ... alas, here, obviously, there is a discrepancy in the plot.
All such places are well guarded, and with a high degree of probability the group of the prince was undercover surveillance by secret police. It is only in novels that princes can do whatever they want, and no one knows what they want. Since they themselves, being princes, pose a threat to the emperor.
Take a look at the Korye historical series about the palace, kings, it is very well shown there. Intrigue, conspiracy, surveillance, surveillance, control.
Here the author clearly did not work, it is written for children aged 12-13 years. It doesn’t look realistic.
Chapter ten
It debunks the familiar cliché! This is some kind of intrigue, fighter, thriller!
Intriguingly the title of chapter 10!
Judging the novel in 10 chapters is very difficult. Writing a review is not realistic.
But for now, from the readings, some general conclusions can be drawn:
Although the novel is a campaign for campaigning from other plots of classical novels, it is more likely a breed for them, and not an ordinary one.
On the other hand, the author does not quite imagine how the protection of VIPs is arranged, everything is too naive and not realistic
A good style, easy to read, simple, interesting. but there is one caveat, when the author makes an edition of his chapters, then this is true. And when the author does not have time with the time of the update, he pours just raw materials. This immediately affects the quality of the letter. It is becoming less understood.
Since my level of English is clearly lower than that of the author, I can not notice the grammatical errors, but probably they are.
Atypical phrases are used, one of which is "evil eyelids", it is not entirely clear what this is about.
Updates seem to be regular.
The description of the world and the characteristics of the hero seems too detailed, so it causes fatigue, boring to read, no action. But somehow you need to describe the world and characters? Perhaps this is the lesser of evil? Could it be a description of the world in an additional chapter? Well, here the author knows best.
Some actions of the heroine are not logical, not realistic
Chapter 10, extremely intriguing, completely destroying the usual stereotypes of both food and the romantic genre, well, the author himself writes about this.
The overall rating, if I were writing a review, would have given 4.4 stars. To be completely honest, 4.0 is due to updates. This decision has two sides, the negative is that due to the speed of updates, the quality decreases as raw materials are poured, without editing. On the other hand, it intrigues the author’s attitude towards updating, that is, he (she) manages to complete his part of the transaction, and makes an update, saying that then he (she) will edit and edit this. So maybe this is a plus, and then the score should be 4.6 points. This is still a moot point.
In general, I liked the work, so much so that I included it in my library. It remains only to wait for new chapters, and see where history will turn further.
Thanks to the author for such an unusual work. At first she was misled and then showed the beauty of the novel.
Gourmet_DAO
Thank you LOL
Uhm, this is mostly written by the seat of my pants. I'm not too familiar with far Eastern Histories or how kingdoms are run soooo thanks for pointing out some of dumber nonsense that I wrote.
She's just separated from her family before she got on the carriage. So it's only been like 14 or so hours since she last saw them, if that make sense. Also yeah.. the lava bit... just seemed cool at the time. Bath house carved from a mountain... at the top of the world...
With Wulin, I wanted to give the readers bits of information about him through AhnAhn's story line, and then either confirm or deny them later. I guess it's super muddy if you say he's acting like a teenager. I'll do something to fix it for clarity.
With the midnight snack chapter, he's supposed to sound like a pedo. His use of flowery language and the wrong words is supposed to make you think hes one thing, but hes... not! I guess I was implying he spends too much time reading to children, and not enough time with other adults around the castle. "Why he like children so much? Oh, he just likes reading to them! But is he still...?" He just feels bad for orphans.
Did I write angry eyelids... jesus christ it was probably 3am...
Oh! In that context I was saying: "shes tired and its hard to keep her eyes open. She blinked once, and they stayed closed before she forced them open again." Eyelids cannot be literally angry, but personifying her refusal to sleep as 'angering her body (eyelids),' got the point across. Maybe? Eugh.
The prince does have undercover surveillance, but he's not in line for the throne and not the Empress' son, so people just ignore what he does for the most part. And yeah, I wrote the bar before I figured out where I was in the city... that's my bad. But the fight had been going on for about six or so minutes as of chapter ten. I'm not used to writing fight scenes, so maybe things were going too slow there. Have to do more research...
Thanks for this! I've been having really bad writer's block because my story had kinda gone off the rails! :L Honestly at this point I should change the genre.. BAHAHA
- Edited
Lilliny Thank you for your clarifications, they clarified the situation, it’s good that there are no pedo bears in the novel, otherwise I would stop reading it. I do not like such genres.
Thank you for explaining about the "evil eyelids" now and this is also understandable. I did not know, just that there are such phrases.
In general, I read your novel in 4 hours (10 chapters). This is an interesting work, but needs some stylistic revision. Your chapters look better and clearer after your editing. Probably for you, English is the first or second language, you know it well, but still raw, it is not entirely clear. Not so smooth and easy to understand.
I liked your novel, it is unusual.
Another remark about the prince:
Just for the princes who do not even pretend to the throne, they are the most dangerous, because they have a feeling of resentment, revenge, they want revenge.
Naturally, they can be used by both the external enemies of the emperor and the internal "Korean drama Pearl of the Palace" is one example. If this is the imperial court, then conspiracies and intrigues are constantly ripening there.
And the VIP security service, it is needed not only to protect them, but rather to control the princes. Their movements, with whom they talk, about what, with whom they meet, where they go to eat, where they buy clothes, weapons, how much money they have. how long they talk. All of them have an outdoor surveillance service. Information is laid down every day on the table of the secret secret police ensuring security in the country (counterintelligence). Therefore, the life of the prince is not so free, a step to the right, a step to the left, is recognized as dangerous, which could threaten the power of the emperor. Therefore, princes are watched, if they can, and cleaned (cleaned up).
Just if you read the dynastic stories of the East (Korea, China, Japan, the Middle East) you would all understand that. This is an ordinary routine.
In the arches at palaces, security is better, it is equipped with stronger, more cunning, with special abilities, special-purpose soldiers. Plus, powerful control by the organized crime group, which in turn is controlled by the secret police, which works both for the emperor himself and other groups - the prime minister, treasurer, and large clans.
If a vagrant group began to be self-willed in the city at the emperor’s palace, did this mean that the emperor’s power, someone was sitting on it? Another country, another clan, officials ... they would have eliminated them all before finding out information from them. A customer’s clan would not have been sent, but completely destroyed, executed. This is how the system of protecting the power of the emperor worked in the Middle Ages and feudalism. This is all written in historical books of the 18-19th century. You can read in the library if that. It's just that students and graduate students of historical universities have to read this in preparation for writing projects to protect dissertations for a bachelor or master.
Gourmet_DAO
Yeah I'm really gonna have to edit and revise some stuff. Hopefully in the next few chapters I'll clarify some points, but yes overall you are right, my story is really, really, unrealistic. Maybe I should change the genre to fantasy. Then I won't have to think as much...
Lilliny There is a rational element in this, but as your fan, of your novel, then it will be a pity that updates will not be soon. So it’s probably better to leave it as it is. Rewriting chapters on the go has a bad effect on update speed.
You are the author and it is up to you, I think that if you make further clarifications in the following chapters, the situation will become clear and I can enjoy the continuation of your story.
Gourmet_DAO
Alright-y cool. :kissing_heart:
5rd chapter
Here, of course, he will have a hard time with school, since the lack of modern knowledge of another world cannot be learned in magic in 2 days. This is an interesting aspect you mentioned!
But poor Yuri, he will have even harder than the principle in Japan. Culture shock!
On the one hand, I am glad that the chapters are large, on the other hand it is difficult to read.
3 years later
- Edited
Gourmet_DAO Hey are you still available for a honest review swap?
https://m.webnovel.com/book/my-throne_23647413906198505