Chryiss My only goal is being myself.

If I'm in the right mindset and mood, I would dress differently as long as I feel comfortable and confident. The issue I struggle daily with is that I am not allowed to pick and choose when I want to be 'prettier'. I always have to be pretty and I'm not comfortable or confident when I'm forced to wear what I don't want.

I do like trying new things, but at my own pace. I am a pretty selfish person when it comes to happiness. I do watch makeup tutorials and I go on Pinterest for cute outfit ideas, but only when I feel interested enough.

I have applied makeup on friends because it is an art form, but I would never consciously put anything on my face.

I do wear jewelry although I ditched earrings just last year. I'm a clumsy person who manages to snag earrings on anything with hooks. Besides that, the jewelry I wear are not cute or girly enough for my mother.

I'm usually insulted for loving myself and sometimes, it's so frustrating. On top of everything else I must worry about on the streets, I have to watch how appealing I look? Its hard when it seems I need to defend myself from everyone else.

Thank you for your comment. After a bleak day, your support really brought a smile to my face. 💙

    [unknown] Insulted for loving yourself. 😂 That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Loving yourself is not equivalent to being self-centered, so whoever said that is just.... shakes head

    They need more BTS in their lives. 🤣

      Chryiss Welp, people feel attacked and entitled to everything these days. There have been many things I've received hate for and I will slowly share them here. Sometimes, I wonder why humans are so arrogant that they push each other down. I am self-centred at times but only when it doesn't harm anyone.

      Haha, true. I love BTS.

        Thirty-Fourth Thought: Different Writing Styles

        So, I have been going through each of my books and I noticed that each one is slightly different from the others in terms of writing style. The level of formality, sentence structure, way to describe the same things... is all different. Even the way I write paragraphs is different. One book's average paragraph length could be a whole essay while another novel's is three sentences. Then, I also realized that I put more effort when the novel is new and slowly, quality seems to fly out the window. What a bad habit I have!
        It's like different people are writing my books and I'm not sure if readers would notice the differences.

          yaoyueyi
          😮 The Queen speaks to me?

          I wish that is the case, but I'm not sure if it is. The big differences are between books and each one is written differently. It's like one distinct writing style for each one. Somehow, I manage to write in more than three different hands.

          The difference within parts of novels is clearly not improvement if it seems like a high school student suddenly becomes an elementary school kid. I do try to improve though.

          Slowly but surely. Maybe one day my different writing styles will merge. That'll be one wacky style.

            Thirty-Fifth Thought: Currently Procrastinating

            I should be working on an assignment, a package for biology ISU (Independent Study Unit) and I have a quiz after the long weekend is over. Nah...im gonna go on three writing platforms and lurk in the forums!

            Thirty-Sixth Thought: Entering Novel into a Contest. Why do I Keep Starting New Books?

            As the subtitle suggests, I've entered a contest for the second time on WN. I'm already struggling with other novels and burnout is still around, but I felt too excited to start this new novel. I'm going to make each chapter short so I can update frequently and hopefully, stack up many drafts before the contest ends. I already dropped the novel from a contest although I had a good plot in mind. I don't know if I want to drop this new one...

              ValKree I have so many ideas for novels, but I've been trying to stick to one or a few. I used to have a bad habit of starting things and never finishing, but now I've controlled it and felt more productive ever since. Additionally, it's fun trying to incorporate the basic concepts of one story idea in an existing one. It makes that existing one feel "meatier" and more impressive somehow.

              Good luck though! And let me know which novel if you want; I don't mind taking a look~ ;)

                  Chryiss yep, I have at least 2 novels I know I won't drop early and somehow, I still start new ones. I usually update slower after a week and honestly, I don't know if I will ever finish although I want to. It's great that you're feeling productive. I wish I can juggle writing with everything else in life, but writing is just a hobby. I can't take it as seriously as I want.
                  I struggle with having more concepts in one story. I don't plan anything for my novels, but I do have a basic plotline for each one. I think it's good to incorporate ideas but my ideas are only plot-related. I've ruined plotlines a few times by being too wishy-washy.
                  Oof, I'm not sure if I'd want my role model taking a look at works I write during the night. I don't know where three collections came from and it's already scaring me. (o.o)

                  I do need luck. I have written two parts and I am currently writing the third chapter. I'm trying to update daily at least for a week after the contest ends.

                  Chryiss I didn't even understand the question posed. Even then, shouldn't users know how to use codes? There have been too many threads about invitation codes and I still haven't considered the fact that I have one. XD

                  Edit: Veronica8 and someone else sent powerstones. I'm going to die now...I shall return as a ghost!

                        Thirty-Seventh Thought: I Wish I Can Dance

                        It's not even the fact that I'm clumsy and I have stepped on many boys' feet before, it's just my tendency to forget steps. I don't remember choreographies and I can't do something over and over again. Even if I write with a pencil for a long time, the pencil starts to move in wonky ways. I probably won't be able to work at assembly lines because I'll be fine...until a certain amount of time.
                        I think it's my free soul that just wants to do what it wants.
                        I've taken some dance lessons and I try to follow videos on the Macarena (I hope that's how it's spelt. I'll be back if it is incorrect), but I always screw up. I will try again and I'll be fine for a good amount of time before I forget or can't follow a dance.
                        Dancing looks so cool and I know it takes a lot of practice, but it's just not for me. Writing and drawing will always be my thing.

                          ValKree Oh no. I don’t feel productive. 😂 My writing dedication to one or select stories is “productive.” But my life is anything but that.

                          Yes and no. The info about codes if there is you want to share. But promoting on forum is a no-no because everyone already is on WN so it defeats the purpose. Also, I just don’t want spammers on your lovely thread. 😁

                              Chryiss I know, and I think that's still great. If I can't be productive in life, I would like to be productive with my writing at least...but nope! I'm very wishy-washy.

                              I never used codes, but I do know that it's meant to invite others who do not have WN. I think invitation codes for most applications also work like this. It's a bit annoying to see spammers, yes, but I also find it slightly funny. Awww my thread is nothing much. Spammers will be buried with my own posts sooner or later.

                              (I'm planning to start another thread similar to this diary format, however, I'm an uninteresting person.)

                                Thirty-Eighth Thought: Am I Already a Year Old here?

                                It seems that I had an account on WN for a year now, but the thing is I didn't touch it until November of 2019? Somewhere around there...Ah, the time I've lost. Also, I discovered there is a badge for being registered for a decade? Damn, if I am still here after three years, that's already my maximum. XD

                                Thirty-Ninth Thought: Puns!

                                My current best friend loves puns and we call him "Pun Master (fun master)". I also like puns and our general friend circle like puns too...except one girl. This story happened just yesterday in Calc class.

                                Friend 1: Hands a piece of paper to friends who hate puns. The paper had a drawing of a bee and it said: "You are sweet"
                                Friend who hates puns: Did you waste paper to make this horrible pun?
                                Friend 1: Show the others!
                                Friend 2: Peeks Oh, honey, isn't that a great thing?
                                Friend who hates puns: Another one!
                                Friend 3: Your words sting our hearts.
                                Friend who hates puns: Facepalms
                                Friend 2: I can't bee-lieve you hate puns!
                                Friend who hates puns: ...
                                Me: You have to admit, it was a great pun made on the fly!
                                Friend who hates puns: Does a double take You're in this too?
                                Me: Don't hive it, you secretly buzz with joy inside!

                                  Fortieth Thought: Dance Class for Phys Ed

                                  If you scroll up a bit, I have stated that I cannot dance although I try and wish to. Well, I got great news yesterday. In three days, after the weekend, a dance instructor will be coming in to teach us a dance. I forgot the name, but it starts with an 'a'. I'll have to pay $2 and my remaining dignity...I can't wait (totally sarcasm).

                                  Forty-First Thought: Writing in All-Caps

                                  In grade 9 English class, I had to proofread a classmate's rough draft of her essay. I almost died upon seeing she writes everything in capitals and I wondered whether she does this with tests and other stuff. My eyes were already poor, but after seeing her handwriting for the first time, I went crosseyed for a good minute. For the rest of the day, my eyes twitched whenever I saw any handwriting.
                                  The other problem was that she did not indent to show the start of new paragraphs. All I could see was a wall of capital letters written with a pink gel pen. I also hate pink so I felt the urge to rip her paper, but that would have been cruel. Cruel and insulting, so I meditated in the lotus position on my chair.
                                  Sigh...when being friends with two people did not work out. I edited her whole essay after having the teacher ask me how we were doing. If the teacher had not asked, I would have pretended to read every word to find fewer mistakes. The things I did in that class for good marks...

                                  I also hate seeing 'all capital' comments online. It's so obnoxious and uneccessary. Exclamation marks exist for a reason, but should not be abused either.

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