Gourmet_DAO
Thank you to start it out.
I'll leave here the review I had of your novel as well:

First of all, I can feel the passion. The wish to get better. I appreciate that.

The only way to get better is to write more. Write write, endlessly write.

The critique I'll give is I don't have a chance to breathe. The train is moving forward at the speed of light and I have difficulty keeping up. I read chapters 1-5 and finally chapter 24 to see the improvement. The latest chapter (24) is the best by far. The characters were talking and we focused on one moment for a longer time.

If you keep your work ethic up and improve, great works will follow!
Best of luck!
No.
Best effort forward. A person makes his own luck.

      shadowdrake27

      Here we go finished my review on your book.
      I'll link it under here as well:

      The First chapter had me ready to be disappointed. Come second chapter I had a constant smile crossing my face.

      I was mad at Tyler for being a wimp at the start, but he did jump into this mysterious world. I'll give him props for that.
      Dani is just right up my alley. Smarts and an endless fountain of confidence.

      The writing is neat. At this point, my expertise is lacking and I can't give a better critique. The realm of this writing exceeds my own.

      In short love it and it makes a fine addition to my collection!

          BlueSilk

          Thanks! I’m glad you liked it! I wrote you a comment as well, to chapter one. I am going to do more, just slowly... thank you for the feedback!

              shadowdrake27
              I Just managed to notice and answer to it. It had great feedback and I will act on it.

              As I mentioned in the review itself I don't think I have enough knowledge to give a proper critique. I'll keep reading your content and will holler up if I notice something off, or even better, something spot on.

                  shadowdrake27 and now that you said my past and present tense was all messed up.

                  Hoooooly macaroni. How did I not notice? This is why you need proofreading. I'll be much more aware of that in the future and will have to go to fix that now.

                      BlueSilk

                      It is very very easy to do that. Reading it out loud helps catch it. Proof reading isn’t fun, but it really makes a different.

                          _VA_
                          That sounds great.

                          I'll have to sleep first since it already is close to 2am. I'll do it second thing in the morning after writing my next chapter.

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