deepu_

I re-read your story, and I must say, it looks better than the last time I
re- read this. However, some of your sentences are confusing because the word placement was off, so please be sure that your sentences are in the SVO order instead of SOV. There are fewer grammatical errors when it comes to dialogue, but it could still use some work. Besides these things, your story is on the way to becoming a great read!

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