Hello, if I'm not allowed to post this, I'll delete.
I need help with the synopsis of a book. What is it that makes you open and read a book?
Is there any comment that is useful to be pointed out immediately, e.g. the release rate, or is it better to stick with a brief introduction to the story?

I'll post my current synopsis (no link, since I'm not trying to advertise myself but sincerely looking for help). Would you open the book and read the first lines with a synopsis like this? If not, how can I improve?
Thank you all that help, it's very appreciated!

Theodora was the Queen of Polis, a city-state that lost the war against the most powerful empire in the continent.
She is sure that they'll execute her immediately, but somehow she survives the meeting with the Emperor, and she finds herself... Married?
Who is that mysterious man that is now her husband, and why does he seem to know so much about her?
Can she accept him, and maybe find love, or will she forever hold the grudge of her city losing its freedom?
A fallen queen, that doesn't know how to be anything else, and a handsome Duke who's the cause of her ruin. Will they find some happiness in a marriage that's been apparently forced on them?

After this, I added an insert from the book where I took out everything that wasn't a dialogue.

    xiaohai_23 pretty good synopsis but I think you need to be a bit more descriptive. Another thing, to catch readers, is to maintain a certain mysteriousness with the plot which means to not write those questions at the end, but rather have the reader ask those after reading your synopsis. You could also try to hint at how your story is: if it's a rom-com, make the synopsis a little funny. Dramatic, be more serious. Etc etc

      I can help with that. The basic format for a synopsis is generally three parts:

      • Introduce the protagonist and their world
      • The protagonist's goal
      • What's at stake if the protagonist doesn't achieve that goal

      If I were to review your summary with these three things in mind, I only know about the protagonist and their world. I don't see what their aim is for this story. What's at stake? What will suffer if they fail in achieving their goal? It's giving a hint to the stake that makes me want to invest in wanting to find out.

      I don't recommend the use of questions unless it directly implicates a stake.

      I lightly revised your synopsis with these three aspects in mind:

      Theodora was the Queen of Polis, a city-state that lost the war against the most powerful empire in the continent. She is sure that they'll execute her immediately, but somehow she survives the meeting with the Emperor, and she finds herself... Married?

      She has a choice to accept her fate as this mysterious man's queen or lose the chance of ensuring her city's freedom.

        Drakonous thank you for the advice
        Basically, if I transform the questions in statements (like "He knows suspiciously much about her" instead of "WHy does he...", of course, phrasing it in a nicer way :) ), would it be better?

          Veronica8 My problem is that the aim changes through the story: at the beginning, it's just adapting, then it will shift to finding out about a secret, and then it will change once again to another one. The stakes as well change, but the first goal is too "plain". However, what if I hint to the goal of the second part of the story, but the readers become disappointed if they don't find that goal in the first (50) chapters?

          Thank you for the advice, it's very helpful!

            xiaohai_23 personally i find this a great synopsis. Just like veronica said change some of your sentences, other then the married one that was great. For example, instead of
            Who is that mysterious man that is now her husband, and why does he seem to know so much about her?
            you could do something like.
            She is now married to a mysterious man who knows things she never told anyone.

            though i also agree with veronica that one thing your missing is a strong binder between your last two sentences. if this duke character is important a hook towards his character would be important since many look for relatable characters and they might connect with this character or at least believe they will.

              Miu2 In the end, I did transform the questions in statements :) thank you for the advice

                Only practice makes perfect, I updated my synopsis following your advice.
                I'll try some different versions and follow the statistics to see what is the one that attracts readers, but I've really learned a lot today!
                Thank you all, @Drakonous @Veronica8 @Miu2 , you were of great help!

                xiaohai_23 Use the first challenge she has to overcome. That's good enough. The aim for the book page is to get the reader to open to the chapter.

                Your summary is good, just some small tweaks is all it needs.

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