Nato_da_Potato Thank you, thank you. Your flattery has been super effective. [Performs an elegant bow.]

I've enjoyed the first 3 chapters so far, and I fully intend on continuing reading, though for now, I'll have to put it on pause. Within a day or two I should get a chance to read more and give further feedback.

So far, I'd say you're doing a good job of balancing descriptions of actions with dialogue. Perhaps a touch more of the actual environment would help though? There were a few tiny errors, but every good novel needs to get a few passes of editing no matter how satisfied you are with the first pass anywho, so I don't even really consider it a strike against the novel. I can't put enough emphasis on this; I highly suggest the free Grammarly plugin to anyone and everyone. It catches some little things or incorrect phrasings that other built-in spell/grammar checks miss.

If you want any pointers on my, hmm, style, I'd say the best way to describe how I go about it is trying to always think of the scene as how it would be occurring in real-time in an actual living world. Things are always going on, even if two people are actively engaged in conversation, time is still flowing. Going through action and its relevant descriptions interspersed with dialogue helps convey the fact that things are happening simultaneously or at least in a rapid order.

A little background ambience can help with immersion, even if it doesn't necessarily directly have something to do with the current dialogue, it will make it feel like it is happening as opposed to two talking heads sitting idly in a void throwing words at each other. Also I simply hate going "he said." and 90% of the time a better description that involves the tone, expression and/or actions performed during or immediately afterwards is much more satisfying.

You seemed to have a solid grasp on your version of these idea so far in the first two chapters though, I'm just being thorough :3

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