So, hey, I’m Velo_Namya and im the author of Hell’s One, I’d like to promote it by initiating a review swap of my book, but i want an honest review of it, a quick note though, my book’s writing quality does drastically improve in the later chapters, imo anyways, thx guys and I’d appreciate anyone who reaches out to me

https://m.webnovel.com/book/hell's-one_24047465205498905

    Ghostuchichq Hello, bro, I read your book and I have some comments that may be useful to you, since they were highlighted to me recently and I see that you have similarities to me.

    First, you should start with a more vivid scene, for example, taking your words you could do something like this: “In a strange room that I don't recognize I look around without knowing what is happening, I soon realize that it is a hospital room, damn! !!, I'm a baby, what happened here? And since god answering my question I remembered what had happened”, so you could explain here what happened before death and end in some funny way the fact that the character couldn't buy the game.

    In the second chapter, I think it can be a little more complex, in my first novel a reader strongly made me see the same mistake that I see you also make and it is to spend a whole chapter telling the story of your character and his family, I think you can put more content and little by little in the story reveal those details.

    These are just some recommendations to improve points that someone recently told me and I think they apply to you, in fact I myself am still not able to fix that bad habit, but it is to be taken into account, the concept of the story is good, I am a lover of Pokémon too so good luck.

    I leave you the link of my novel for your comments, be honest only then it gets better.
    https://www.webnovel.com/book/the-best-on-the-court_26018446306943305

        Miss_Asriya Hello, I read the first chapter of your story if I have time later I will continue reading, for now I will tell you what I think. Before that, I tell you that I'm not fond of your genre, but I'll be as objective as possible. I also clarify that it's just my point of view, it doesn't mean that I'm right and you're not, just an opinion, so I'll start.
        First, your first paragraph is repeated.
        I think that you are very descriptive in all the scenes, in my opinion being a web novel you can ignore some things, avoiding describing things like the type, style, color and shape of the clothes that your protagonist wears and in the same way the scenarios. I think the sequence of events if you shortened that description would look more fluid and interesting.
        I put a couple of examples on the paragraph comments of the book.
        Now ignore some descriptions, but know how to do it, notice that when your main character arrived at the admissions office, she simply asked what interested her immediately, but she was in a hurry, it would be good if you included some fatigue or heavy breathing, something like that.
        Lastly, I don't think the justification for your main character being so upset about being late is convincing, in the end she had to expose herself to everyone and introduce herself, I think inventing something like "The academic director had warned her that he would punish her if she was late the first day" or something like that, is better, I don't know.

        I also hope your honest comment
        https://www.webnovel.com/book/the-best-on-the-court_26018446306943305

          Ghostuchichq Hello, I left a review for your novel. Cool concept! I'm very not up to date on the newer generations of pokemon, the aux chapters were very helpful.

          You can find my novel here

              vorlefan Hey, I think I saw you on discord. Would you be down to do a review swap as well? I noticed your novel is a bit on the longer end, I'll start reading and try to have a review out by tomorrow. You can find my novel here

                  Miss_Asriya Hey if you can go through some of the locked chapters of my Novel We Judge And The Chaos Begins....I can leave you a review.....I'll appreciate

                      thefirespeaks Thank you. Can I ask if your name is a reference to "Bringing culture to another world", I thought it seemed familiar at first glance, but wasn't quite sure if that was what you were going for.

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