- Edited
Res_Publica
I'd be wary of introducing a narrator type presence in your novel. For me personally, I like to get sucked into the story and experience it more first hand. Drawing my own conclusions to the events that take place on the page. With a narrator, you have someone with an opinion. They are telling the story through their own eyes, the way they percieved it.
This is why stories with narrators often draw on the "Unreliable narrator" type, where it turns out the narrator has been lying or embellishing the whole time.
To me, it also just provides a certain sense of disconnect, like I'm not reading a story any longer. Slightly hard to explain.
However, I'm not even sure if that is what you are talking about. You seem to be talking more about the "neutral" narrator type that is in all third person stories. In that case, what do you mean by originality? There's nothing in your text example that indicates anything non-standard at least from my perspective.
The only weird thing I see is you put "As reader can noticed" which is just weird overall. Are you trying to convey breaking the 4th wall? I'm not quite sure what you're getting at honestly. Breaking the 4th wall however is not very original either, and in my opinion, a horrible thing. Instead I'd just word it "As one could notice", or something like "As could be noticed".
You'd wanna be careful with super long dialogues too, because at that point it becomes hard to make the speech natural.
Anyway, I'm really confused on what you're really trying to say. I think you should just stick to standard third person limited pov.
