Of course, thank you.
Zephy
- Joined Sep 17, 2018
https://www.webnovel.com/book/titan-legacy_18388589605486705
I'd love for you to review my book. I feel my writing is lacking in many areas, it'd be good to get an outsider to pinpoint those areas for me.
You need to publish at least 4000 words first. After this, the story will go through a vetting process. It can take some time, even longer if you publish during, or close to the weekend.
Haha yeah, it's a bit tense with the contests when you're waiting for your submission to be vetted. The only thing you can really do is submit as early as possible, and make sure you have over 4k words posted. Stories have to have over 4k words published before they can be vetted.
Title: Titan Legacy
Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/trapped-on-a-death-world_18136158505409505No need for sugarcoating, I just need someone to be critical and point out all the flaws that I don't notice myself.
Title: Titan Legacy
Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/titan-legacy_18388589605486705
Synopsis:
In 2020, a mysterious energy appears on Earth. Earth's scientist do everything they can to identify it and it's uses, but they don't make any headway. Instead, it is a lone martial artist from China by the name of Li Jie who discovers the energy's true nature.
The energy turns out to be capable of strengthening the human body, making people into superhumans capable of things nobody thought possible.
Soon people from Earth begin making use of this energy, and dojo's that specialize in the teaching of the energy appear.
But it is quickly made apparent that all that is only the start of things to come, when a tremendous occurrence takes place one year later. Something big enough to shock everyone on Earth, and set the gears of change moving at a rapid speed.
This is the end, or perhaps just the beginning?
Title: Titan Legacy
Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/titan-legacy_18388589605486705
Synopsis:
In 2020, a mysterious energy appears on Earth. Earth's scientist do everything they can to identify it and it's uses, but they don't make any headway. Instead, it is a lone martial artist from China by the name of Li Jie who discovers the energy's true nature.
The energy turns out to be capable of strengthening the human body, making people into superhumans capable of things nobody thought possible.
Soon people from Earth begin making use of this energy, and dojo's that specialize in the teaching of the energy appear.
But it is quickly made apparent that all that is only the start of things to come, when a tremendous occurrence takes place one year later. Something big enough to shock everyone on Earth, and set the gears of change moving at a rapid speed.
This is the end, or perhaps just the beginning?
https://www.webnovel.com/book/titan-legacy_18388589605486705
I hope you will take a look at mine, I would appreciate a set of critical eyes to tell me where I can improve. Feel free to tell me if anything is confusing, badly explained, badly written, just plain stupid, or whatever catches your eye.
- In Lock chapter
Is it unfair for netflix or amazon to lock away their movies and tv shows once your subscription ends? This is really the only way to do it.
This thread is slowly killing my faith in humanity.
- In SYNONYMS
descendant - offspring
Title: Demon Legacy
Author Name/ Pen Name: Zephy
Link to Story: https://www.webnovel.com/book/13406020705705205/Demon-Legacy
Genres of Story: Cultivation, Sci-Fi, Martial Arts
Any Specific Requests: I noticed you mentioned having a "dark cloaked man on throne" picture. I'd like that in the middle of the poster, possibly with red eyes if doable. Overall I just want the poster to give off a villainous / dark / demonic vibe. I'll leave it open to your interpretation.Let me know if that's too vague, I didn't want to be a bother and be too specific. Anyway thanks for doing this, your covers are really good.
Just write what you feel like right? I don't think it's wise to base your story entirely on someone else's setting/genre/idea. And regarding the collab part, that's probably going to be very hard. Unless you just have a person you trade some ideas with, it's going to be such a tedious process actually writing the story together.
Looking at your synopsis I'd just say to be mindful about how many exclamation marks you use. There's so many that I feel quite overwhelmed. Personally I wouldn't recommend using them in narration at all, just in dialogue that require that extra something.
I'm going to try and give you some constructive criticism for the first chapter. Also, I’m by no means a good writer, nor do I claim to be, but yeah.
First of all, try not to repeat words too closely together.
Example: “Sound of weapon clashing resound from a forest called Misty Rain Forest.“
Forest called Misty Rain Forest is just awkward to read. If you want to keep it somewhat the same, you can try to restructure the sentence. You could also just cut out most of it so it read “Sound of weapon clashing resound from the Misty Rain Forest.“
There’s no need to tell us that the Misty Rain Forest is a forest. This way the sentence flows a lot better. Try to keep it in mind when you’re writing and you’ll probably notice a lot of places that could be changed. You may feel like pulling your hairs out at times while trying to figure out how to change sentences. Do it anyway, you’ll be a better writer for it.
Second of all, it may have been said, but I really have to mention the grammar. Unfortunately there are a lot of mistakes.
Also try to work more body language into your narration. Frowns, smiles, wide eyes, shaking, nose flares, etc etc.
Finally I actually have to commend you on managing to start most of your sentences variedly. You didn’t have too many repeats of he, his or the in a row.
But yeah, the grammar is always going to be holding you back.
- Edited
Res_Publica
I'd be wary of introducing a narrator type presence in your novel. For me personally, I like to get sucked into the story and experience it more first hand. Drawing my own conclusions to the events that take place on the page. With a narrator, you have someone with an opinion. They are telling the story through their own eyes, the way they percieved it.This is why stories with narrators often draw on the "Unreliable narrator" type, where it turns out the narrator has been lying or embellishing the whole time.
To me, it also just provides a certain sense of disconnect, like I'm not reading a story any longer. Slightly hard to explain.
However, I'm not even sure if that is what you are talking about. You seem to be talking more about the "neutral" narrator type that is in all third person stories. In that case, what do you mean by originality? There's nothing in your text example that indicates anything non-standard at least from my perspective.
The only weird thing I see is you put "As reader can noticed" which is just weird overall. Are you trying to convey breaking the 4th wall? I'm not quite sure what you're getting at honestly. Breaking the 4th wall however is not very original either, and in my opinion, a horrible thing. Instead I'd just word it "As one could notice", or something like "As could be noticed".
You'd wanna be careful with super long dialogues too, because at that point it becomes hard to make the speech natural.
Anyway, I'm really confused on what you're really trying to say. I think you should just stick to standard third person limited pov.