Hello everyone!
I have created a new series of novels that started yesterday.
I have already published the first chapter + the prologue of the whole lore. The genre is mecha, but not entirely mecha. Why is that? You will find the answers to your questions as the story progress. I am new to the mecha genre of writing but I hope you will like it.
Thanks everyone for taking the time to read this discussion.
Please, do not be afraid to drop comments in the story, and also do not be afraid to give your reviews. The cover art is on the work. I am collaborating with my artist friend to design the whole art style of the story.
This is the link for the story by the way.
https://www.webnovel.com/book/12319665506267505/GENESYS

I am giving the opportunity for the early birds to give ideas for what they would like to see in the whole lore of the story. Let it be references from other stories/tv shows/film/comic. I can add you as a character having a cameo for the story. Just drop what you want to, and I will find a way to fit it in the story. Early birds would be the first 20 replies.

    ChibaNozumi

    This story reads like a machine-translated piece of work. The spellings are spot on, but the grammar and syntax are choppy and all over the place. I'll hazard a guess that English is not your native language? It's either that, or you're pasting the direct results of a machine-translated piece of work. I can't tell which it is, but to give you the benefit of the doubt, I'll assume that English isn't your native language.

    Since that is the case, go ahead and run your story through a grammar checking website, like Grammarly. It's grammar-checking feature is useful enough to catch some simple grammar mistakes, like here:

    Grammarly

    Secondly, the amount of abbreviations used in the story is tremendous. Now, I'm not too familiar with the Mecha genre myself either, but this is a lot of abbreviations. Or maybe it's just the amount of "EV citizen" and "non-EV citizen" that overwhelmed me. Is there any way to say it besides that way? How about just "citizens" and "non-citizens"?

    Unfortunately, I can't continue reading because of the grammar, so I could only review up to here. Sorry!

        7 days later

        Nou thanks for the response. Will definitely make the stpry better throughout. I am just new to the genre either and I know it is hard to write a novel for a mecha for it is commonly drawn. Will try the recommendation though. I hope you'll read it for the next update and see if the concerns raised was solved already.

            7 days later

            Nou Greetings! Your concern that was risen before has been already cleared. Thanks for your suggestion. would love to have you back on reading GENESYS.

                iamnaz7 I have been able to read your work and I have already written a review. I have to say you that I like your work. :)

                    ChibaNozumi
                    - I think you should spend a little more time on the backstory. Specifically, the Empire, PROJECT, how they took over the world. Also the new king's actions are ridiculous in a sci-fi setting.
                    - Think about the villain's motivation for taking over the world.
                    - Did you notice that during chapter 2 and 3 you mention Atsushi Yukine 30 times? Decide whether you want this guy to be the MC, or Futaba Kou.

                        7 days later

                        ImBloo Hello! Thanks for the concern. THe mc of the story is definitely Atsushi Yukine written in the point of view of Futaba Kou. The backstory will be widened in the succeeding chapters, as of now, the story will focus on how YUKI and Yukine met. Will have the backstory written in the chapters 5 onwards. The villain's motivation will be set when the main villain was introduced but as of now, he/she has not yet been introduced to the readers. Also, the new king's action is very rare or should I say, bizarre for a sci-fi genre but I like it more when it is bizarre to see it that way. Though, I love your feedback and will definitely work on the backstory as soon as possible.

                            iamnaz7 I have read your story, by the way, I love it how you write the story. Hope for your success on continuing your story.

                                ChibaNozumi Oh fascinating. Designed like late 19th - mid 20th century classics. Like Sherlock Holmes where Watson narrates Sherlock's adventures or The Great Gatsby where Caraway is the voice where Gatsby is the protagonist.

                                It will be tricky to pull this off, but it's been done before. It's also a very unpopular style nowadays but the writing experience will be rewarding.

                                Good luck. I'm biased against Mecha, so I will not be reading. But I hope that you will succeed.

                                    KoraL hahaha yeah. Though it will not be a purely mech-mecha genre. It is more like Code Geass that is not exactly Code Geass if you get what I am pointing here. Though, thanks for the words of encouragement.

                                        KoraL Definitely 2nd POV stories are tricky to pull off, that is why it is more challenging than third or first POV stories. I also noticed that the majority of stories here are written in either 1st or 3rd POV that is why I decided to pull this 2nd POV instead.

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