I would like to get some initial feedback in the form of an ongoing conversation instead of a one-off review, in exchange for regularly editing and / or critiquing another author's work.

I prefer reading Eastern Fantasy (Xianxia or Wuxia), System (Game-like), Historical, Horror, Magical Realism and Romantic Comedy stories, so if you're in need of an editor and write in any of the above genres and are prepared to give somewhat detailed commentary (at least 200 words per day) for my story, to help me improve my writing, then please get in touch so we can partner up.

TLDR:

What I offer: I can do editing (as a native English speaker) and critiquing to help you with your work.
What I want: A penpal! Nothing fancy - just a little back and forth about what you like / don't like in my story, with occasional discussions on future plot points along with any tips or advice you might have to help me improve.

My story: The Spirit Games (TSG) - https://www.webnovel.com/book/12740030906010105

My Discord ID: Zakyrie#9137

NB: My story is an original Xianxia tale with loads of action, a bit of romance and a lot of magic. There will be no adult content, so I'd rate it at PG16.

    Zakyrie
    Your story seems interesting. It's a shame mine doesn't belong in your favored genre.
    Good luck anyway :)

        ImBloo Just out of curiosity... what genre is your story in? Could it be horror? Because I forgot to put that in too (fixed now).

            dragon345 I went ahead and edited the first chapter as a sign of goodwill: https://docs.google.com/document/d/14OLwTH2xXpXSdVS0CuekRvFOd0zEJ9sEQSL2crgWmQs/edit?usp=sharing

            So, first off, the story isn't really my cup of tea, since it seems to be a slice of life in a supernatural setting with lots of romance. Whereas, I'm looking for something more gritty, and action-oriented. Like an apocalyptic thriller, or a morbid comedy... basically something that can match the serious tone in my own writing at the moment.

            And secondly, your story needs more than an editor. You should take a short course on grammar and sentence structure to familiarize yourself with prose, because while you have a good imagination and a nice flow to your writing, basic formatting is a big issue starting from chapter one. In particular, separating dialogue into lines of their own, shortening paragraphs by grouping related scenes together while sifting out thoughts so that they stand alone.

            And, as the reviews of your story indicate (and the little that I've read so far shows), you need to stick to a single point of view at a time, and stay in the past tense when narrating in the first person POV.

            You should focus on posting only second drafts of your work, because as it is now, what you've posted is more like a rough draft that is in need of not just basic formatting, but actual polish that only you as the author can provide.

            The synopsis of your novel needs to be completely rewritten. To be honest, I'm not even sure why you wrote it that way, because it describes the characters instead of the plot, which should be your focus when trying to lure new readers in.

            Btw, I was a little confused when an old lady in the first chapter (Mrs Brown) was watching TV when there's something as fascinating as a mermaid frolicking in a lake on the outskirts of town... but I guess that's just me.

            Best of luck in your writing!

            And thanks for replying, I hope you find an editor that will help your story shine!

                Oh yes i should probaly say my genres too xD

                I write a fantasy, sifi mix with martial arts and a system my novel is currently in writing and in english i only have the prolog so it takes a while till i release it here because i want a stock of chapters before i start :)

                  Zakyrie

                  Okay, Take a look at my story:

                  My story is: Bleeding Brilliance

                  If you think it's good then

                  how do you wanna have a one-to-one conversation?\

                  Facebook or Discord?

                      Zakyrie I'd be happy to help if you're still looking for someone. Discord is probably best for me communication-wise.

                          Skaz I added my Discord ID above, and here it is again: Zakyrie#9137

                              Skaz That sounds good! Hit me up on Discord whenever you like: Zakyrie#9137

                                  Thorrak Yes, I'm still looking for a penpal. Please get in touch with me on Discord: Zakyrie#9137

                                      Zakyrie
                                      Hey, I'd be interested in a penpal too (don't really need/want an editor). I've read the first six chapters of your story and I find the premise interesting (though I do find some of the things a bit confusing; I like the tree theme and how he inherited the body of a sort-of tree's grandson (am I understanding this right?)). I also like how there are some jokes mixed into the gravity of the rest of the story).

                                      I'm currently writing a sci-fi romance (comedy with some dark themes; has action in it), although I mainly write high fantasy and eastern fantasy (and a hodgepodge of speculative fiction). I don't know if you'd be interested in my writings.

                                      This is what I have posted to Webnovel.
                                      The Star Prince's Gender Bender

                                      If you're interested, may I send you a friend request on discord? I'm mainly looking for someone who would also give similar feedback and just encourage writing in general.

                                      And I thought it would be good to add that my fiction is rated R for adult themes, violence, and some gore (no explicit sex scenes). And I keep profanity very limited.

                                          Reckeva You got me hooked on the first chapter! And yeah, you pretty much don't need an editor. There are a few typos here and there but nothing major. I'll be in touch!

                                            NewCultivator I read to chapter 7 and while it does have an intriguing premise, I don't like the direction you've chosen for the story so I'll have to pass on this offer. My comments are below.

                                            It looks like there are some sort of vampiric race(s) that may (or may not) have been written into existence by the main protagonist (Cyril) as a sort of meta-reality, and that there is a power struggle between a faction that wants chaos (led by a lady called Allen) and another faction that wants peace (led by Carter). As to whether or not those individuals have a system of their own is still unclear - perhaps only the MC has his own system and with the latest upgrades (mind reading and action prediction etc) he is supposed to be OP but doesn't really have a goal of being a hero or doing anything heroic at the moment, especially since he is still stuck in level 1 and doesn't know how to get past that -maybe he needs to suck blood?

                                            I absolutely loved the air of mystery in the first chapter. The ability to view other people's statuses and then use the daily changes in LUCK to predict unfortunate events (like death and injury) was super interesting and I've never seen anything like it before. I might even steal this concept for my own writing later on!

                                            But the weird bloodlust (literally, I want to eat your blood) shenanigans by the girl called Allen doesn't make any sense and has an immature vibe to it, although the lady might be quite young as she has the physical age of a 15 or 16 year old. Given her mental age and disposition, how could she possibly be the leader of the chaos faction? Or be its primary instigator?

                                            That said, the tension in the train was very interesting although the disjointed narrative that jumps between present action and flashbacks of the MC's system-related discoveries was quite jarring in the 2nd chapter. And from the 3rd chapter onward things started to take more of an 'angsty urban fantasy' route instead of what I actually wanted: a supernatural thriller with a system.

                                            It also seems like English is a second language for you - if that's the case then you've done a good job of writing prose and I can see that you're steadily improving with each chapter. With a bit of editing you can really bump up the quality of the writing. I think you should keep practicing prose and continue this story in the direction you've decided to go in since I'm sure there are plenty of readers that would like to see a modern god-like vampire fantasy with a hero MC that has a system.

                                                nkwori Please let me know what you're working on if you're actively writing. If you'd just like to chat about The Spirit Games (the Xianxia story I'm writing now), please get in touch with me: Zakyrie#9137

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