Forty-Ninth Thought: I'm Confused, Am I a Mom or Dad and Why are Titles Getting Longer?

Alright, another cute storytime with ValKree. So, when I was still in elementary school, I was very close with a small boy who used to be bullied because of his size. I wonder how hes doing now...
Anyway, one day that I thought was a normal day, he found me during recess. Why? To give me a pink card with my name on it. Well, half of my name because he couldn't spell past "Chris". I asked him what the card was. I didn't think it was my birthday.
I opened it up to see it was for Mother's Day. I didn't know what to say because im not his mother and he spent time to make me a card. I asked him why he gave me the card. He said it had my name on it, duhh.
I asked why he wouldn't give it to his real mom. He says that I spent more time with him every day which was about two hours a day. I found that bit a little sad, but he still loved his mom.
Alright, so I asked why the card was pink. He got upset and started waving his arms around. "I know, right? You like blue and I was about to choose blue paper but they said it's for dads! They're so annoying." I suddenly realized that I may have been influencing him. I was a proud momma bird but I hoped his mother wouldn't cause me trouble for what I did. She never did.
Then, he has an idea to remedy the pink cards. "For Father's Day, I will make two cards. One for daddy and one for you!"
To this day, I'm not sure if I'm a mom or dad. I have gotten past getting a son in name, but what was I?

Dang...my life has been crazy. So many odd situations I found myself in. This is only one of a tonne.

    MeriemR Right? Some kids can be total brats, but there are some precious ones I would protect with my life. They're so rare these days I feel like they are gems.

    Fiftieth Thought: Childhood Lovers (hehe, is this clickbait? Let's see)

    When I was in kindergarten, I was close friends with two boys and one of them was named Chris, which is similar to my real name. Chris was my first friend and we connected for so many reasons. We had similar names, we couldn't speak English and we were bullied for our stupidity.
    The other kid was Dan. He came later than us, from another country. We were the class' three Musketeers. Yeah, we did risky business every other day.
    One day, when we were calmer we sat at the kitchen set and pretended to be a family. The boys took turns being my boyfriend. They were so different, but adorable.
    Chris saw me 'making' food and offered to make macaroni and cheese. That's my favorite food. He told me that if I'm ever his girlfriend, he would want to help cook. He knows I'm clumsy so he would be afraid for my hands.
    Dan and Chris started arguing about who would make a better boyfriend. Then, they asked me but I was too young to understand what a boyfriend is. I thought they meant a friend who is a boy...so I said both can be my boyfriend.
    Chris said he would fight anyone for me. He would even beg my parents "when we're all growed up." We also lived in the same block so our families see each other often. Now that I'm older, that sentence got a bit awkward.
    Then, Dan rolled up his sleeves and loomed over Chris. Dang, was he tall for little me. He looked angry and said, "well, I would want her to be happy." He had a face that said 'Take that, brother!'
    Baby me just laughed along with their shenanigans and now, I really miss them. I heard one of them has a girlfriend now and I only hope he is the dream boyfriend he vowed to be so long ago.
    The other boy, I lost all contact with and his grandmother moved before I could ask for his contact information. At that time, I had my own phone and I had a feeling he did too.
    Being with the boys was the best memory during the dark years of elementary school. Our relationships lasted for only three years, but I cherish them even today. If I hadn't met them in kindergarten, I don't know if I'd be slightly happy in school.

      ValKree 😭 😭 ♥️
      What a sweet story~ I get that bittersweet, lovely nostalgia when I think of my childhood too. 😔

        Chryiss Yeah, I think I feel regretful because I didn't understand the moments of my childhood. I did not enjoy the memories while they were made...Now, I can only try to live a little.

        Fifty-First Thought: I Missed A Day (I think) For BL

        I've created a second account that I will use just for BL and LGBTQ+. Writing BL, reading BL, reading about all sorts of consensual relationships...all the nice jazz. The account's theme is the seven deadly sins because I wanted to be edgy. Nah, it's because I have great plots that will explore these 'sins'.
        Each novel is based off on one of the sins and I hope to show both good and bad aspects of all seven. So, a series of seven different novels that can be read as stand alones, but are a part of a collection.
        I only started one novel and I think seven plus my current novels is too much, but the novels will have extremely short chapters. I'm quite excited to write tons of BL.
        I'm being so stupid but the good thing is that three of my friends have offered to help me write these books. We have one novel plot all planned out and the others are going to come slowly.
        So, what was the point of this information? There was no point except letting you all know how dumb and ambitious I am.
        bows before hearing any claps and trips over feet getting off stage

        Edit: Damn, I missed two days? I'll think about something else to write as a make-up.
        Edit: My alternate account has been speaking to a few of you. It should be quite obvious who it is. Also, keep in mind that sometimes, my friends will be speaking with me. Do not freak out when the tone changes.

          Fifty-Second Thought: If I Look Hard Enough, Everything is Aesthetic to Me (with exceptions)

          I once stared at a cooked cabbage leaf and I saw white vein-like patterns. I forgot what it was called, but I stared at it for so long that my mother thought I was playing with my food. So, I showed her the ordinary cabbage and told her to look at "the pretty design."
          Once, I was bleeding from a finger and I held it over a cup of water. A drop of blood dripped in and I watched as the blood spread. It was like those videos where food coloring is dropped into water and a cool fog is made. Although I was bleeding, I was mesmerized by the blood blooming in water.
          Once, I had my face buried in my cat and my mother thought I had given up on life. I said I was only looking at the fine hairs on my fine boy. The strands moved in one direction and some even caught the sunlight. He was black and white so I saw a mix of both colours.
          Again with the cat, I stared at his eyes and I saw so many colors which I thought was cool. There was green, yellow, hazel and orange. Damn, my cat was pretty. Even the spikes on his tongue looked neat and like a pattern.
          I am not allowed to have bubblebaths because my family knows I would stay in the bubbles all day if I don't use all the soap. Bubbles have always looked pretty to me, especially when I can see swirls of colours moving.
          What else looks pretty to me that is strange? Celery sticks, pastas, noodles, sponges, cracks on sidewalks, eyes, curtains, shattered glass, rain, shredded paper the was shredded by shredders, math, clear glass cups....
          The only thing that does not become more beautiful the more I look at it is humans. I dont know why, I can't force myself to think someone looks nice. However, the first thing I see on humans are eyes. I will explain this tomorrow.

            Fifty-Third Thought: I See Eyes!

            I take "Make eye contact" to the next level because most of the time, the eyes are the only parts of a human I would look at when I first meet them. I do notice some other aspects of them such as hair, nose, lip shapes and whatever else you can see, but my eyes always gravitate towards the eyes and it will always return to the eyes. I try not to seem creepy though, but sometimes I know people feel weirded out when I only look at their eyes.
            The thing is, I like watching the eyes because I can see the person's true thoughts and I can admire the details of their eyes. Some would urge me to stop staring at their ugly eyes but I think I have never seen an ugly pair of eyes. The eyes, for me, are seriously windows to the soul.
            It is because of the eyes that I can see when someone is truly fine, when someone is in pain or afraid, when someone wishes me to go away, or when someone is calm or agitated. I can see smiles in the eyes, magical specks in eyes, dilating or expanding pupils, I can see everything. I can see who truly cares about me and who is talking to me out of boredom. It is because of the eyes that I can start trusting people or start avoiding them.
            The mouth lies. The clothes lie. Facial expressions definitely lie, but the eyes never lie.
            Perhaps people do not like me reading them like a book and this is why they look down at the floor after realizing I am focusing on their windows. They want to hide their feelings from me because if I read their eyes, that puts them at a disadvantage. No one wants to be in a disadvantageous situation (unless you have kinks I guess).
            Then, there are others who are ready to show me their eyes because they are confident, they know I can see their thoughts. This is why some of my friends would rather have me stare into their eyes than speak to me with words. The only thing about that is I can only know how they're feeling, I can't know the exact reason. Then, I silently ask if they are willing to tell me and they reply with a look.
            I'm not sure if there is a language of the eyes, but I like to think I am learning it every day.

            (I've used the word 'eyes' so many times and I was so tempted to use the medical term for it to tone down the repetition. I noticed that I also use 'orbs' often in my novels so I tried to avoid that too. Avoiding excessive usage of one word led to the excessive use of another...XP)

              ValKree I’m the same!!! I feel like a weirdo (not actually for a lack of a better word) when I see a tangle of branches and think of a fantastical maze, or some concrete bricks and structures, and I miniaturize people with those shapes as walls or buildings like in some dystopian ruin of an ancient society.

              Or one that I even wrote down to maybe use later as an effect or pattern in a story eventually. On the train, the window scratches look and glitter like snow when passing by stations only lit with lampposts. It’s soo cool and pretty!

                Chryiss aww I wouldn't think we're weirdos although I do call myself one for different reasons. I remember an elderly woman said that people like me somehow see positives in items perceived to be ugly or an inconvenience to the eye.
                Maybe we are more aware of the invisible beauty in this bleak world or we're trying to find wonderful things?

                I think it's amazing that I found someone who understands. Usually, others think I'm crazy to think certain items look pretty. I don't write about them, but I do use them in my drawings.
                I guess it's something original or rare because it's not the typical definition of beauty. I'm not sure, but it's also a moment of happiness when the aesthetic is discovered.

                ValKree I have too much social anxiety to make eye contact. Wish I had your level of confidence 😂 speaking of alternative terms for ‘eyes’, my favourite is [peepers]... if you’ve ever seen or played the Satsuriku no Tenshi anime/game, you would know why 👀

                  Anyone ever feel deja vu doing something and then your mind races for a moment about how you're possible reliving the same day over and over again? Your memories of it disappearing through sleep so the same day feels new? Or maybe it's because the world is on loop and you've lived 'this' life millions of times and when you have those deja vu moments, it's actually your soul messing up? Or what if your mind is connecting with an alternate reality for that moment and you see into one that's ahead of your reality? Would that explain why you could have deja vu a few days, hours, or minutes before the action?

                  Just a thought.

                    Veronica8 Yeah, there will be seven but only a few will update frequently. Some are written by more than one person and so far, only one is written by one. We hope the joint writing won't flop XD.

                    ihateyounot Ah, perhaps that is also why people avoid me. I know staring into eyes is a bit creepy but I just can't help it. If I don't focus on eyes, I'm basically telling the person that I'm not listening. XP
                    Oh, I haven't used peepers and I don't watch anime anymore. T-T

                    Yuyumamoru Yess! Which is so crazy because I think I saw your comment in a dream once. It always happens to me and sometimes, events repeat? I always take a moment to freak out and I always say "deja vu" whenever it happens. Others would look at me weirdly but it had become a habit. XD
                    I think some events I've seen years before the action but it always manages to make my skin crawl.
                    The questions you posed are making my mind explode...I went into overdrive.

                    Fifty-Fourth Thought: Seeing Faces in Clothes...at Night

                    Damn, my imagination can scare me so much, especially when I was a kid as I would always see faces in closets during the night. Our closets did not have doors so I would face the stacks of clothes to see shapes that become horrible faces. I would see the ugly witches, horned heads, half faces, goblins, demons and whatever else looks scary to child version of me.
                    All of this is because of my imagination and although I know what I saw was not real faces, I always had a feeling the faces would jump out of the closet.

                    Fifty-Fifth Thought: Sister is Watching a Video about Ghosts

                    There's creepy music playing in the background right now and someone is speaking softly, talking about spirits and murders. Heh okay sis. That's all I can say.
                    Oh, she just pulled out a pack of waffles! XD
                    Meanwhile, I'm procrastinating with my homework right at my arms.

                    Fifty-Sixth Thought: Drawing/My Face Reveal

                    alernatetext


                    So, Whose eyes are blinded?
                    Anyway, the backstory is that the one and only @Chryiss (sorry for the unnecessary tag) posted an inspirational blurb on the Praises Platform. I loved it immediately and throughout the day, I was working on this during classes. When I had free time, of course.
                    Basically, a cute and fluffy (not) yellow chick wielding a Valkyrie's spear. Muahahahaha! The birb (yes, I can spell bird correctly) kind of describes me. I'm somewhat cute, but tough. So far, no one likes being on my bad side.
                    I might delete this one day. I hope this is a worthy post after being away for two days or so. I have a reason for missing yesterday which I will tell in the next post.

                      ValKree D’awwwww <333 Soo adorable! I love it from the bamboo to the chick fluff and red ribbon on the spear. Very nice work! And yes, you’re an adorable chick who can also be tough! Wah, don’t delete it! >u<

                      Also, you’re good about posting daily on your thread unlike me huehue... o-o’

                      Oh, and if you’re on Discord~ Chryiss#5534 ;)

                        Chryiss Awwww I was hoping it was a bit adorable. I love bamboo and it looks cool as a frame so I drew it a bit last minute. The red ribbon is a generic thing for spears so I added that too. My sister said the chick looks like the Lorax...T-T I probably won't delete it since a few people seem to like it.

                        I try to post daily because I think a lot about nothing but I am also quite a slacker. lol

                        I don't have discord but I'll refer to that when I do get it! I have been asked by many people and I think it is almost time.


                        MeriemR Thank you! Hopefully, I seem as cute as my avatar. XD

                          SilentDrummer Awww I'm glad people like this thread. Apparently, I'm known for having the wacky and fun thread. I did have a novel on another platform where I wrote whatever so I could update daily but on WN, I don't think it'll work. Unless readers can be interested in extremely short daily updates, I won't try it.
                          I'll keep posting here though. Just for the smiles.

                          ValKree The Lorax! LOL! I understand the bright yellow bring reminiscent of it, but other than that I don’t see it. Chick with the spear, Valkyrie Chick, is now your mascot X3
                          In a wuxia/ancient China setting? Haha~

                            Chryiss Hehe I would give my mascot a nice mustache but I can only wish I have one.
                            I love the mascot. Maybe I'll make it into my profile pic because it represents me better than the current one I called 'Dreamer'.
                            Yes, I love ancient China and I love watching wuxia dramas. So badass which I aspire to be.

                              Fifty-Seventh Thought: Missing That One Day...Badminton Practice

                              So, on the day I missed posting here, I was having an interesting time at school playing badminton against a school we invited over. Something shocked me so much I still can't believe it happened, but it did. The thing was that I was a bit late after school because I had to finish up a test. When I walked into the gym, I saw someone very familiar and I even yelled his name.
                              "Mr. _____!" I could have sworn he was my music teacher in 7th and 8th grade...but he didn't reply. Instead, he was staring at me as if I was a crazy kid. I felt embarrassed because I swore it was him! So, I scurried away and pretended I didn't wave at the wall.
                              Halfway through the matches, I was resting at a wall and I see him walk towards me. I wanted to run away until he went, "Hey, aren't you (my name)?"
                              I gawked at him for an embarassing minute and I pushed myself off the wall. "Yeah, I waved and yelled your name but you didn't do anything. I thought I had the wrong person which would be the worst!"
                              He chuckled, "I asked your coach if that student was (my name). Are you in grade 12 now?"
                              Then, he guessed which school he taught me at. He asked which grade 8 teacher was my favorite (there were four for different subjects). I told him immediately before he even listed the others and he was surprised. I told him that the teacher I picked taught me things I needed in high school while the others did not prepare me for anything.
                              Then, we talked about his job and why he was at the badminton practice. Apparently, when I was in grade 8 he was looking for a job and he found one at his current school which is also an all-boys school. Their former music teacher is our current music teacher. He was also a helper in the badminton team because he used to play the sport.
                              Then, he started bringing up my elementary school peers and asked who I was friends with. I told him I didn't vibe with anyone and he had a surprised face because I'm very sociable now. Then, we proceeded to diss all my former peers and he said "I'm safe to say this now that you are here."
                              I warned him that everyone else is in one school that I can go to any time. Then, he asked me what I was doing at my current school. I told him I moved. We talked about music and he was disappointed when he heard I didn't continue music. Somehow, he remembered I played the flute.
                              When he left to help his boys, my friends pulled me over to ask who I was talking to and I said he was my former music teacher. The girls said he looked cute and I expected this. Even in an elementary school, he had fangirls. It was pretty interesting.
                              At the end of the practice, he was leaving with his students and waved at my sister thinking she was me. His arms almost smacked my nose and when he saw my face, he had fish eyes again. I told him he waved at my younger sister.
                              He was like "That's your sister? She's taller than you?"
                              So, I forgot to post because of the excitement I got from playing badminton and meeting a cool teacher from elementary school.

                              -_-

                                KingPufflePuff Ooooh I can only wish to be a badass birb! XD
                                Also, welcome to my House of Happiness! See you around...maybe.

                                  Fifty-Eighth Thought: Jammed Finger from Sports

                                  They're not painful for me but a bit annoying as my thumb always gets jammed, especially during basketball and volleyball. So, my finger will feel sore for a few days. This is why I think I'll have all sorts of health issues when I'm older.
                                  Yes, I have a jammed thumb at the moment which is why I'm sharing this bit. I don't remember how it happened...

                                    Fifty-Ninth Thought: Dried Cranberries

                                    I love them! They're probably my favorite dried fruit but before, it was dried prunes. Dried apricots are okay too but with those things, it's a hit or miss for me. Dried mangos...not my thang. Raisins are great too although I used to avoid them like the plague when I was a child.
                                    Do you have a favorite dried fruit?

                                      ValKree Ngl, sounds like a synopsis-like snippet of an actual rom-com story. 🍿 👀 jk but it is cool to see old teachers again. I haven’t visited in years.

                                        Chryiss I know right? Sometimes I think my life could be made into a novel of all genres but rom-com is the biggest genre.
                                        In elementary school, he was one of the two teachers I was fine with. I was always entertained by his occasional cussing when my peers annoy him by playing incorrectly without slight improvements. Xd

                                        ValKree I like raisins, dried cranberries, dried cherries, and figs, but I don't like to eat them on a regular basis. I kinda get bored of them hahaha. So, I enjoy them from time to time.

                                        Sixtieth Thought: Writing on Four but Almost Five Platforms...

                                        Is hard work! How many platforms are you on and if the answer is more than one, which ones?

                                          ValKree I would be on more, but I found that uploading is such a chore when there’s no automatic publishing. So far, only here, Royal Road, and Wattpad. But I’ve checked out a few other sites, just don’t feel like posting elsewhere. :p

                                          Sixty-Second Thought: My Brain Cells Died

                                          I just can't think today....

                                            Sixty-Third Thought: My Favorite Words

                                            Infinity
                                            Quartz
                                            Clarity
                                            Imagination
                                            Eclipse
                                            Shadows
                                            Sassy
                                            Rebellion
                                            Renegade
                                            Unique
                                            Drift
                                            Destiny

                                            Do you have a/some favorite word(s)?

                                            6 days later

                                            Sixty-Fourth Thought: My Best Friend and Chocolate Snacks

                                            So, I have this guy friend who also happens to be my best friend and damn, he's a sweetie. I remember the times my friends have tried making me accept junk food but I'm an odd person who avoids chips and candies. Anyway, this friend found a chocolate bar in my bag one day and he was the first one to discover my guilty pleasure: CHOCOLATE!
                                            After that day, he would ransack his house to bring a chocolate filled snack along with his regular snacks. Our friends were so shocked when I accepted the chocolate chip cookies.
                                            Sometimes he would say "Smile for the cookie, ignore the flow." He probably says that thinking it's my time of month although it's not. I think it's cute anyway. He won't give me the cookie unless I smile and that just brightens the rest of my day.
                                            My friends are all goofs and I love them!

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