Chryiss Awww yeah, I'm trying to be the opposite of my real self: Sunny and positive with a few rantings every so often. I'm glad this thread seems to put smiles on faces that may be across the globe or an hour away from me.
I do see toxicity everywhere I go so this place is like a 'Positive Pavilion'. Where we can sit and share stories, laugh and wonder how the OP (me) is so stupid. XD
If I start a thread just for negativity, every single reader would probably fall into the Depression of Depression. Not good so here is a nicer thread, a gem I hope.
Random and Thoughts
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Forty-Ninth Thought: I'm Confused, Am I a Mom or Dad and Why are Titles Getting Longer?
Alright, another cute storytime with ValKree. So, when I was still in elementary school, I was very close with a small boy who used to be bullied because of his size. I wonder how hes doing now...
Anyway, one day that I thought was a normal day, he found me during recess. Why? To give me a pink card with my name on it. Well, half of my name because he couldn't spell past "Chris". I asked him what the card was. I didn't think it was my birthday.
I opened it up to see it was for Mother's Day. I didn't know what to say because im not his mother and he spent time to make me a card. I asked him why he gave me the card. He said it had my name on it, duhh.
I asked why he wouldn't give it to his real mom. He says that I spent more time with him every day which was about two hours a day. I found that bit a little sad, but he still loved his mom.
Alright, so I asked why the card was pink. He got upset and started waving his arms around. "I know, right? You like blue and I was about to choose blue paper but they said it's for dads! They're so annoying." I suddenly realized that I may have been influencing him. I was a proud momma bird but I hoped his mother wouldn't cause me trouble for what I did. She never did.
Then, he has an idea to remedy the pink cards. "For Father's Day, I will make two cards. One for daddy and one for you!"
To this day, I'm not sure if I'm a mom or dad. I have gotten past getting a son in name, but what was I?
Dang...my life has been crazy. So many odd situations I found myself in. This is only one of a tonne.
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Fiftieth Thought: Childhood Lovers (hehe, is this clickbait? Let's see)
When I was in kindergarten, I was close friends with two boys and one of them was named Chris, which is similar to my real name. Chris was my first friend and we connected for so many reasons. We had similar names, we couldn't speak English and we were bullied for our stupidity.
The other kid was Dan. He came later than us, from another country. We were the class' three Musketeers. Yeah, we did risky business every other day.
One day, when we were calmer we sat at the kitchen set and pretended to be a family. The boys took turns being my boyfriend. They were so different, but adorable.
Chris saw me 'making' food and offered to make macaroni and cheese. That's my favorite food. He told me that if I'm ever his girlfriend, he would want to help cook. He knows I'm clumsy so he would be afraid for my hands.
Dan and Chris started arguing about who would make a better boyfriend. Then, they asked me but I was too young to understand what a boyfriend is. I thought they meant a friend who is a boy...so I said both can be my boyfriend.
Chris said he would fight anyone for me. He would even beg my parents "when we're all growed up." We also lived in the same block so our families see each other often. Now that I'm older, that sentence got a bit awkward.
Then, Dan rolled up his sleeves and loomed over Chris. Dang, was he tall for little me. He looked angry and said, "well, I would want her to be happy." He had a face that said 'Take that, brother!'
Baby me just laughed along with their shenanigans and now, I really miss them. I heard one of them has a girlfriend now and I only hope he is the dream boyfriend he vowed to be so long ago.
The other boy, I lost all contact with and his grandmother moved before I could ask for his contact information. At that time, I had my own phone and I had a feeling he did too.
Being with the boys was the best memory during the dark years of elementary school. Our relationships lasted for only three years, but I cherish them even today. If I hadn't met them in kindergarten, I don't know if I'd be slightly happy in school.
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Fifty-First Thought: I Missed A Day (I think) For BL
I've created a second account that I will use just for BL and LGBTQ+. Writing BL, reading BL, reading about all sorts of consensual relationships...all the nice jazz. The account's theme is the seven deadly sins because I wanted to be edgy. Nah, it's because I have great plots that will explore these 'sins'.
Each novel is based off on one of the sins and I hope to show both good and bad aspects of all seven. So, a series of seven different novels that can be read as stand alones, but are a part of a collection.
I only started one novel and I think seven plus my current novels is too much, but the novels will have extremely short chapters. I'm quite excited to write tons of BL.
I'm being so stupid but the good thing is that three of my friends have offered to help me write these books. We have one novel plot all planned out and the others are going to come slowly.
So, what was the point of this information? There was no point except letting you all know how dumb and ambitious I am.
bows before hearing any claps and trips over feet getting off stage
Edit: Damn, I missed two days? I'll think about something else to write as a make-up.
Edit: My alternate account has been speaking to a few of you. It should be quite obvious who it is. Also, keep in mind that sometimes, my friends will be speaking with me. Do not freak out when the tone changes.
Fifty-Second Thought: If I Look Hard Enough, Everything is Aesthetic to Me (with exceptions)
I once stared at a cooked cabbage leaf and I saw white vein-like patterns. I forgot what it was called, but I stared at it for so long that my mother thought I was playing with my food. So, I showed her the ordinary cabbage and told her to look at "the pretty design."
Once, I was bleeding from a finger and I held it over a cup of water. A drop of blood dripped in and I watched as the blood spread. It was like those videos where food coloring is dropped into water and a cool fog is made. Although I was bleeding, I was mesmerized by the blood blooming in water.
Once, I had my face buried in my cat and my mother thought I had given up on life. I said I was only looking at the fine hairs on my fine boy. The strands moved in one direction and some even caught the sunlight. He was black and white so I saw a mix of both colours.
Again with the cat, I stared at his eyes and I saw so many colors which I thought was cool. There was green, yellow, hazel and orange. Damn, my cat was pretty. Even the spikes on his tongue looked neat and like a pattern.
I am not allowed to have bubblebaths because my family knows I would stay in the bubbles all day if I don't use all the soap. Bubbles have always looked pretty to me, especially when I can see swirls of colours moving.
What else looks pretty to me that is strange? Celery sticks, pastas, noodles, sponges, cracks on sidewalks, eyes, curtains, shattered glass, rain, shredded paper the was shredded by shredders, math, clear glass cups....
The only thing that does not become more beautiful the more I look at it is humans. I dont know why, I can't force myself to think someone looks nice. However, the first thing I see on humans are eyes. I will explain this tomorrow.
Fifty-Third Thought: I See Eyes!
I take "Make eye contact" to the next level because most of the time, the eyes are the only parts of a human I would look at when I first meet them. I do notice some other aspects of them such as hair, nose, lip shapes and whatever else you can see, but my eyes always gravitate towards the eyes and it will always return to the eyes. I try not to seem creepy though, but sometimes I know people feel weirded out when I only look at their eyes.
The thing is, I like watching the eyes because I can see the person's true thoughts and I can admire the details of their eyes. Some would urge me to stop staring at their ugly eyes but I think I have never seen an ugly pair of eyes. The eyes, for me, are seriously windows to the soul.
It is because of the eyes that I can see when someone is truly fine, when someone is in pain or afraid, when someone wishes me to go away, or when someone is calm or agitated. I can see smiles in the eyes, magical specks in eyes, dilating or expanding pupils, I can see everything. I can see who truly cares about me and who is talking to me out of boredom. It is because of the eyes that I can start trusting people or start avoiding them.
The mouth lies. The clothes lie. Facial expressions definitely lie, but the eyes never lie.
Perhaps people do not like me reading them like a book and this is why they look down at the floor after realizing I am focusing on their windows. They want to hide their feelings from me because if I read their eyes, that puts them at a disadvantage. No one wants to be in a disadvantageous situation (unless you have kinks I guess).
Then, there are others who are ready to show me their eyes because they are confident, they know I can see their thoughts. This is why some of my friends would rather have me stare into their eyes than speak to me with words. The only thing about that is I can only know how they're feeling, I can't know the exact reason. Then, I silently ask if they are willing to tell me and they reply with a look.
I'm not sure if there is a language of the eyes, but I like to think I am learning it every day.
(I've used the word 'eyes' so many times and I was so tempted to use the medical term for it to tone down the repetition. I noticed that I also use 'orbs' often in my novels so I tried to avoid that too. Avoiding excessive usage of one word led to the excessive use of another...XP)
ValKree I’m the same!!! I feel like a weirdo (not actually for a lack of a better word) when I see a tangle of branches and think of a fantastical maze, or some concrete bricks and structures, and I miniaturize people with those shapes as walls or buildings like in some dystopian ruin of an ancient society.
Or one that I even wrote down to maybe use later as an effect or pattern in a story eventually. On the train, the window scratches look and glitter like snow when passing by stations only lit with lampposts. It’s soo cool and pretty!
Chryiss aww I wouldn't think we're weirdos although I do call myself one for different reasons. I remember an elderly woman said that people like me somehow see positives in items perceived to be ugly or an inconvenience to the eye.
Maybe we are more aware of the invisible beauty in this bleak world or we're trying to find wonderful things?
I think it's amazing that I found someone who understands. Usually, others think I'm crazy to think certain items look pretty. I don't write about them, but I do use them in my drawings.
I guess it's something original or rare because it's not the typical definition of beauty. I'm not sure, but it's also a moment of happiness when the aesthetic is discovered.
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ValKree I have too much social anxiety to make eye contact. Wish I had your level of confidence 
speaking of alternative terms for ‘eyes’, my favourite is [peepers]... if you’ve ever seen or played the Satsuriku no Tenshi anime/game, you would know why 
Anyone ever feel deja vu doing something and then your mind races for a moment about how you're possible reliving the same day over and over again? Your memories of it disappearing through sleep so the same day feels new? Or maybe it's because the world is on loop and you've lived 'this' life millions of times and when you have those deja vu moments, it's actually your soul messing up? Or what if your mind is connecting with an alternate reality for that moment and you see into one that's ahead of your reality? Would that explain why you could have deja vu a few days, hours, or minutes before the action?
Just a thought.
Veronica8 Yeah, there will be seven but only a few will update frequently. Some are written by more than one person and so far, only one is written by one. We hope the joint writing won't flop XD.
ihateyounot Ah, perhaps that is also why people avoid me. I know staring into eyes is a bit creepy but I just can't help it. If I don't focus on eyes, I'm basically telling the person that I'm not listening. XP
Oh, I haven't used peepers and I don't watch anime anymore. T-T
Yuyumamoru Yess! Which is so crazy because I think I saw your comment in a dream once. It always happens to me and sometimes, events repeat? I always take a moment to freak out and I always say "deja vu" whenever it happens. Others would look at me weirdly but it had become a habit. XD
I think some events I've seen years before the action but it always manages to make my skin crawl.
The questions you posed are making my mind explode...I went into overdrive.
Fifty-Fourth Thought: Seeing Faces in Clothes...at Night
Damn, my imagination can scare me so much, especially when I was a kid as I would always see faces in closets during the night. Our closets did not have doors so I would face the stacks of clothes to see shapes that become horrible faces. I would see the ugly witches, horned heads, half faces, goblins, demons and whatever else looks scary to child version of me.
All of this is because of my imagination and although I know what I saw was not real faces, I always had a feeling the faces would jump out of the closet.
Fifty-Fifth Thought: Sister is Watching a Video about Ghosts
There's creepy music playing in the background right now and someone is speaking softly, talking about spirits and murders. Heh okay sis. That's all I can say.
Oh, she just pulled out a pack of waffles! XD
Meanwhile, I'm procrastinating with my homework right at my arms.
Fifty-Sixth Thought: Drawing/My Face Reveal
So, Whose eyes are blinded?
Anyway, the backstory is that the one and only @Chryiss (sorry for the unnecessary tag) posted an inspirational blurb on the Praises Platform. I loved it immediately and throughout the day, I was working on this during classes. When I had free time, of course.
Basically, a cute and fluffy (not) yellow chick wielding a Valkyrie's spear. Muahahahaha! The birb (yes, I can spell bird correctly) kind of describes me. I'm somewhat cute, but tough. So far, no one likes being on my bad side.
I might delete this one day. I hope this is a worthy post after being away for two days or so. I have a reason for missing yesterday which I will tell in the next post.
ValKree D’awwwww <333 Soo adorable! I love it from the bamboo to the chick fluff and red ribbon on the spear. Very nice work! And yes, you’re an adorable chick who can also be tough! Wah, don’t delete it! >u<
Also, you’re good about posting daily on your thread unlike me huehue... o-o’
Oh, and if you’re on Discord~ Chryiss#5534 ;)