Hi, this is my book. It's sci-fi fantasy but I've only written 7 chapters yet. Can you read it and tell me what do you think? I'm really in need of an honest opinion of a reader, and I'll really appreciate your help. Please excuse grammatical mistakes though. I'll edit them later.
https://www.webnovel.com/book/14642625306115305
Suggest me Original no Transmigration Fantasy Romance
- Edited
AuriLin
Hello darling.
What do I think? Well, first of all, I read 7 chapters, so let's say you got my attention. My reading span is no more than 2 chapters until I get annoyed by something I find stupid.
But, honestly, your story start is too bland. The most interesting part is not the daily silent suffering of your 'schizophrenic' MC, but the interlude.
So, I'd recommend jumping to the interesting turning point part. Don't take 5 chapters telling how was her school life, domestic life, and medical life. There are several other ways to show how Hannah was bullied and isolated while you jump to the thrilling part.
And, there are a lot of stories were 'special people' is bullied and misunderstood. So don't drag on it, it's a waste of time. I'd find it very amusing and interesting if it was quite the contrary: the schizophrenic girl is well adapted and super popular, in spite of her episodes.
And... even psychopaths have friends. She's unreal because she doesn't have a single friend.
Good luck with your editing. As you asked an honest opinion, here you have it.
Of course, it's your story and you don't need to take my opinion into account.
Chryiss hi new to web novel and the forum. So this transmigration cultivation thing is new to me. It is an Eastern fantasy theme it appears. But I figure it is equivalent to witches and cursed princesses and trolls , potions and fairies in the West. Meaning a set world or legends with its own rules so it is ok to build a whole new world but it ok to also write a story using the rules of a set known legend/World with a twist. Isnt that why fairytale retellings are still popular today?
storygirl I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to say. You're saying cultivation is akin to the witches, trolls, and fairies of the western world, but it's the eastern counterpart? I somewhat agree.
Where I digress is that eastern cultivation stories have much more rigid sets of common rules and plot sequences. I've seen fairies and witches made completely different. You can get Disney witches and fairies, or you can get the very grim, dark kind. There's much more room for differentiation and "twisting" of a classic idea. As for cultivators, they all are basically the same with much less variation. Unlike witches, where there are also sorcerers, enchantresses, mages, wizards, necromancers, etc., there aren't any variation forms for cultivators. Maybe, martial artists? But those can be non-magical too, so it doesn't quite work.
My point is, I'd like to see something more out of the box. Cultivation stories fit too much into a common mold. And thus, the plots of many stories seem to be very similar. However, this is just based off my own observation which is still a small sample of many stories out there.
As for transmigration, once again, many stories fall into similar sequences. For example, FL goes into a body who was previously abused, so she gets revenge with the help of some prince who now falls in love her new strong attitude and face-slaps some white lotus concubine/princess, mean mom/stepmom/aunt/empress and other schemers. This is in a historical setting, but it's easily translated into modern with CEO as prince and white lotus as a rich scheming girl rival, sister, or friend.
Of course, transmigration can lend to different types of stories. And I don't hate transmigration. I just have yet to sufficient examples that divert from the above examples. In fact, transmigration is more broad than cultivation, so I suspect it's easier to put a "twist" on.
What I agreed with is that fairytale retellings are popular today. Cultivation seems to be like that in the eastern world. It just would be nice to seeing something completely different or twisted in such a way that feels very original and fresh. I'd like something that blows my mind and furthers my imagination beyond what's already been done. Of course, this is a very high task to ask.
SrtaA Omg there are so many Chinese books I wish I could share with you, but they haven’t been translated... guess it’s because all the good novels (not the cheesy ones full of stereotypes that seem never to end) are difficult to translate because of all the literary terms and the beautiful writing style.
My no 1 recommendation would be Que shi tian xia, you can find its description here
https://forum.novelupdates.com/threads/who-gets-the-world.47814/
Sadly it hasn’t been completely translated. The strength about it is that the characters are very well built, they have different mindsets and different priorities and they are very much in flesh and blood. I especially like the female character, who’s a caring and talented person. She’s really laid-back and easy-going, and leads a singular life in the world of Wulin (the martial art world). But she’s also a princess and when her father dies she has to take up the responsibility of a queen...it’s a romance novel with lots of action and plots.
My No 2 is You Fei (Bandits / Legend of Fei). It’s a martial arts novel with lots of character development and a bit of romance. Romance isn’t the main thing, but I love the way the relationship between Xie Yun and Zhou Fei develops.
Also Another good one is 天官赐福 (heaven gods‘ blessings), although it‘s a BL novel, the romance is really touching and I can’t tell you how the characters are lovable. Okay the first few chapters might be slow, but then it gets really interesting. There is mystery involved too. The plot contains a lot of mysteries and suspense. I believe this one has been translated.
5 days later
bump!
3 months later
Chryiss thanks for explaining this to me as i am starting to get a better idea since I wrote this to you of the set rules and patterns you described but your explaination helps even more. Ive read a limited amount of these stories and they follow this pattern. I have only read a couple transmigration and they were not revenge stories as that does not interest me. I was confused by this waking up in the past body of someone else after a car accident or explosion and being ok with it. Wouldnt the MC struggle with culture clothes and language or ancient writing or at least freak out?
is this thread still valid for recommendations?
Hmm, my novel is a fantasy romance. There are “nobility from a fantasy world,” but it doesn’t have any of the other topics. It’s my attempt at something original. Bits of action/mystery are sprinkled in it; however, I’m trying to focus more on the characters than action/mystery.
I would love any feedback. If you don’t read it, I won’t be offended.
https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/16930452606946205?utm_source=writerShare&utm_campaign=4311387755
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