Hello, community

I am currently trying to write a web novel. I really mean trying because right now I am definitely not succeeding.
I talked to and showed my brother (studies basically American English) my first chapters. He basically said that I don't have any problem with orthography or grammatic but have a huge problem conveying enough information, making it sound organic and not like (his words) shopping list.
So my question for the community is:
How do I make my writing more fluent and organic or as he said put my words and words in a nice flowery dress?

    It just comes with experience, no one starts out perfect. I don't know how I could really answer that one. Maybe read other novels and focus more on the writing style and structure of the chapter and try to emulate them in your own way. That's the best advice I could give

    Nou thank you,
    that's pretty much my problem and the article is really helpful thank you!

        Gunner_Eat

        One piece of my advice would be to think about what you want your reader to be feeling when they read your story.

        Example:
        Say that I want to describe a heart attack to my reader. I could inform them of this fact or demonstrate it to them.

        1. Informing the reader of the heart attack (this is telling)
        "He felt his heart racing. There was a pain to his chest. His body dropped to the ground in heap."

        2. Demonstrating the fact to the reader (this is showing)
        "His heart slowed into an irregular rhythm. Fever overwhelmed his body. His mind became a clutter of garbled thoughts, agitated by erratic spams and feelings of fear. His skin crawled with an unbearable itch, but he was too lethargic to scratch it away."

        Hopefully, from example #2, you'd be feeling some kind of concern for the protagonist's health. At least sense that they're experiencing a crappy time. You can check out more on using emotions here: https://thewritepractice.com/emotional-writing

        Another way to achieve the show-not-tell thing is describing according to your character's personality traits; what they're doing, thinking and seeing. Their entire world is described according to their personality trait.

        Traits can be honed through characters goals and motivations, which aligns to and progresses the plot to the end result. Writing to traits and to a determined plot, typically, you'd only write what is needed to achieve an aim.

        Hope that helps.

          Gunner_Eat

          -Try to give enough information for the user to understand. Don't pack too much information in one chapter.
          -make sure your story flow. Don't jump from scene to another without a proper segway.
          -Plan out your story in your head and ask yourself "If I knew nothing about my story and this happened. Would I understand it"

          That's my take on it. I'm also an aspiring writer so I understand your issue. I write for fun so I'm okay with not failing. But just keep up the good work.

              First is, read lots and lots of novels. Don't just stick to one genre since that would limit you. Take notes on how they build up their story.
              Second, write a lot. Even if you're not publishing something right now, practice writing and you will achieve your goal of a more organic writing. Writing comes with practice. I've been writing for eight years now and I still have tons of things to improve on. TT That's just the way it is, huhu.
              Third, always keep a notebook near you so every time you come up with a nice tagline or a really good plot, or maybe a statement that gives a feeling of 'organic'-ness, you can preserve it in your notes and use it at the opportune section of your novel.
              Fourth, enjoy writing. Enjoying how to write is one of the most important ways to improve. Once you get the hang of it, it will just flow naturally.

              And as a fellow author, I wish you all the best in your writing journey. Anyone can write a novel, but those who take the first step is a cut above the others who don't ^ ^

              Dronos Don't jump from scene to another without a proper segway.

              A segway, you say? This is a segway:
              segway

              I think the word you're looking for is spelled as segue. XD Pretty counterintuitive, eh?

                  @Gunner_Eat #415639 you care about it being organic and fluid...... You're on the right track; And another thing is that the plot makes sense. Be on the lookout if you write.

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