Kronos661

I finished it, other than some grammar mistakes that I think really just need someone or something to spare a glance and this thing with the PoV it's really nice.

I didn't put this in the review because... of idk why I didn't (more like it's one of those stupid moments people have...), but these were the grammar mistakes that appear most frequently:

  1. Verb Tenses - This is a pretty common mistake in the story. For example:

[I petted the cat and eat some food.]

This was the most common one, where the first verb and the second verb do not match and have conflict. There are some cases (? I think) where this is fine, but overall it is kind of an issue.

The second kind that I saw a lot was this kind:

[I petted the cat. I eat some food]

This is usually okay, but in some cases this isn't and there were some cases of 'this isn't'. I really do suggest getting a human person (that's alive) to check it over because some of these are situation based and so it's not really possible for a machine like Grammarly or Microsoft Word to do it.

  1. Um, idk what to call it - It's the thing where the order of adjectives, nouns, and adverbs are wrong.

I think that this is also something that needs a human person to check on it because it's not really 'grammar grammar' but sort of 'book grammar' (???????). It's where some clauses are confusing not because the clauses are written wrong but because there is a increase or decrease in essential and non-essential articles. Basically either too many or too little 'the' or 'a' or whatever other article there is. In terms of adjectives, sometimes they are sort of projected elsewhere (?). Like maybe the phrase meant to say the cat was cute somehow now it's the dog is cute just from the positioning of the verbs. Sometimes this happens in-between two sentences, sometimes no.

  1. Commas, typos, and yada - These I see a lot actually and I know some are typos based on comparing one chapter with another and the frequency of the mistake.

Hello, my name is -----

or

Yes, I did -----

Idk how to name it, but this happens a lot too, and I'm not too sure if it's a typo, but it doesn't really harm the reader it just irks me a little bit. Also, sometimes there are these things: Do not >>> Don't. Sometimes there isn't an apostrophe. Commas, however are a larger issue that is kind of yeah. There have been literal lawsuits over commas, and while so far I don't see anything too confusing, if in the future there are many more complicated stuffy things and whatnot, it can become disorientating.

Other than all of that, it's really good and I really liked the vivid descriptions of how the MC felt.

      YawningBrain

      I finished it, it's really good and funny. I would suggest checking your personal pronouns and (completely personal opinions and stuff) maybe (unless you're planning on writing this cute story and yeah) add something to the characters (You don't have, not at allllll, I just ... think that ... it might be a little more interesting in the sense of story plotty murdery wise). If the story already is heading in that direction then ignore that (o.o)

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