meixiaolian Mate I will review yours now. Give mine a look it is only one chapter so far, but I got 10 more chapters on backburner in editing phase so let me know. Will post a review soon.

Nullinvoid thanks and im reading yours. Btw, you might want to consider cutting the chapter in pieces as wn favors more short chapters over one long one

    Edel_Li Solid stuff mate. Though I would really spread out the descriptions a bit they can go in other parts of the story without bogging down teh beginning. Otherwise fantastic start.

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