Davidwatts6957 done. But the dialogues were unbelievable at best. They don't work that way and you should focus on tense and grammar as well. Hope I'm not being too harsh

      Noel_Ceniza_1290 finished with yours. It was pretty good. Maybe cut out some redundant words like (even though), but it's up to you, and feel free to disagree. Overall, I'd say this was a good read

        Nr_Yet1208 Thank you for your feedback but can you please be bit precise on what I'm lacking into . And I read your novel the story line seemed interesting ,the writting was quite appealing I liked the way you write as I'm new I couldn't found any thing bad innit

            Davidwatts6957 the first few dialogues, what were they? The mc says a lot of stuff at random. And I think even as a personality trait, that's not something you'd expect. Next, he curses way too much: Now this is just a personal opinion, so no worries.
            Personally, I prefer past tense. But yours had present tense mixed with it which is like cancer to the story. It's a personal preference but most people would agree. Anyway, if you have more questions, feel free to give me a knock.

                Nr_Yet1208 Yeah I feel that I've mixed past and present ,and that'll cause confusion ! And the MC curses way too much because that's what he really is like he's bit mischievous and sometimes he is told behave himself too , but thank you so much for pointing my mistakes out

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