Pleasure to tell you that I have been working as a story writer with different top agencies for a long time. I'll overview your novel and share my honest opinion. And also rate it.
Being a native English speaker kindly have a look at my novel and check out if you find any grammatical mistakes or share any idea about the story concept.
Best of luck.
dennis_wang Up for the offer?
maryam_library
Are you still looking?
Jo_J Yeah
maryam_library Looking over it now.
maryam_library , I only did the first few paragraphs and commented on the story
US_DreamerDon Thanks a lot. Let me know how many chapters you can do so I can start working on yours?
maryam_library I can do all 10, starting later tonight. I have to get my chapter written. I'm on the author discord server as US_DreamerDon
US_DreamerDon Alright. So how can I help you in return for proofreading of 10 chapters?
US_DreamerDon Sure, I'll start from today. And please try to comment on each paragraph whatever you feel so I can know the direction of my story.
Hi US_DreamerDon,
I have finished the 1st chapter's detailed review.
What did I feel about this chapter?
→ Funny background & dialogues
→ Have a big turn in the chapter that really shocked me (the point when Elliot body changed)
How to make it more interesting?
→ Give more details about characters so readers can have emotional linkage with the characters
→ If possible, write the chapter summary at the end or the start of the next chapter.
The positive points about the chapter:
→ Have a big turn even in the first chapter
→ No character mixing, clear dialogues, and well-written content
Negative point:
Less detail about each character (If you determine to show it in 2nd or 3rd chapter, it's totally fine).
Hope so it'll help.
Can't wait to see yours on mine.
Thanks
2nd chapter review is done.
What did I feel about this chapter?
→ Usual mother reaction. Readers can relate it to their daily life.
→ Story pace really impressed me. You covered many things at a decent pace.
How do you make it more interesting?
→ Try to show Elliot's expressions in a way that readers will feel something for him. You did well in explaining what was happening but explain a little bit what he feels, what he wants, e.t.c.
Positive points:
→ Too engaging to compare with our lives
Negative points:
Lack of the factors that cause the emotional attachment of character with readers. My long experience in story writing says that it's a big point. If you're successful in doing this, readers will be compelled to tread whole chapters.
maryam_library Maryam, maybe dm him on discord. they might get it faster and you won't be having to post on the forum _
His discord name is: US_DreamerDon
MichelleLeeee Alright
maryam_library My discord name is DreamerDon#5512. Reach out to me via that please.
US_DreamerDon Sent you message there. Kindly check.
