US_DreamerDon Sure, I'll start from today. And please try to comment on each paragraph whatever you feel so I can know the direction of my story.

      US_DreamerDon

      Hi US_DreamerDon,

      I have finished the 1st chapter's detailed review.

      What did I feel about this chapter?

      → Funny background & dialogues
      → Have a big turn in the chapter that really shocked me (the point when Elliot body changed)

      How to make it more interesting?

      → Give more details about characters so readers can have emotional linkage with the characters
      → If possible, write the chapter summary at the end or the start of the next chapter.

      The positive points about the chapter:
      → Have a big turn even in the first chapter
      → No character mixing, clear dialogues, and well-written content

      Negative point:
      Less detail about each character (If you determine to show it in 2nd or 3rd chapter, it's totally fine).

      Hope so it'll help.

      Can't wait to see yours on mine.

      Thanks

          US_DreamerDon

          2nd chapter review is done.

          What did I feel about this chapter?
          → Usual mother reaction. Readers can relate it to their daily life.
          → Story pace really impressed me. You covered many things at a decent pace.

          How do you make it more interesting?

          → Try to show Elliot's expressions in a way that readers will feel something for him. You did well in explaining what was happening but explain a little bit what he feels, what he wants, e.t.c.

          Positive points:

          → Too engaging to compare with our lives

          Negative points:

          Lack of the factors that cause the emotional attachment of character with readers. My long experience in story writing says that it's a big point. If you're successful in doing this, readers will be compelled to tread whole chapters.

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