Goran_B
Okay 1 chapter story. I recommend using paragraphs.
-Almost all written in 3th perspective /all seeing perspective or passive.
-No dialogue, not even MC contemplation or toughts and feelings.
-Super hyper fast story development, fastest I have ever seen..

    Felicia_Olojo

    Uu spooky stuff cemetery start.
    -After the first profound paragraph late-teens appear with their getting to college problems/5 target audience?
    -Alcohol first always/5
    -Why I have the feeling this has been written with scenario writing of spooky LA movies..
    -Prologue or some info on where things are happening would be nice. Also world building would need considerably more.
    -Very dialogue driven, some like it somebody not.

      Who is up for a WSA review?! Now, if you review both my books, I will review two of yours or if you have one book, I will review them twice so, here are mine! Both are on WSA but you can choose any or both to review. I would prefer you review the last wolf, though, if you want to review only one. ❤ Reply done and I will be on your book immediately. If I am not, it only means I am not online at the moment. Just have some patience and I will get to it the moment I get back. 😁
      https://m.webnovel.com/book/the-last-werewolf-(silver-blood)_23946864705611105

      https://m.webnovel.com/book/justice-and-desire_24130716506426405

        Please go to review swap thread if you want to do that, this thread is about honest reviews 😛

          sajid_alam
          Ahhh proper morning tea in imperial style. What?? Tribes sects political boogaloo. Let see.
          -Light novel starts with the word mom/5.
          -In a strange world of battles and magical myth things and gods the world building starts with the parent and child discussion about the world. Is it the definition of the development or how MC will develop remains to be seen. Also talking with the children about THE LORD OF DARKNESS!!! 5/5 early pedagogics.
          -Best practice pedagogics continue in form of a ill thought suecide 5/5. Could of maybe written more reasons why any woman would be that stupid to kill herself because of some random scumbag ex. It really ads to the bad parenting genre and MC will grow mest up.
          -After this the world building becomes very thin and dialogue rules the writing almost entirely.
          -Dialogue technique could be better, there is mentions of opening door or some other things in passive form in brackets, you could check how these things are written in almost any fantasy book.
          -[phone disconnected] vrs "Mc Mac Mc looked at his phone from last centyry that his stupid parents that died had got him from the flee market. In irritation he saw that the phone was disconnected again and he could not call to helpdesk because the phone was useless. Mc Mac Mc decided to stay inside whole day and eat icecream instead. * Fuck it * Mc thought. (Albeit my example is some stupid shit I wrote while being tired at morning 😃, the point is that you can drop all meta data of personal feelings and thoughts what people are having when something happens and not just passivelly use bracketed actions. Those are only used in mangas when they want to cover some space with text so there is less things to draw.

              GrandSky

              Fate. (Fuck I hate that world really it always drops the agency and real choice and things are thought in deterministic ideologies/religions/bs philosophies. Fate is the step uncle of laziness. Oh yea the story 😃
              -Okay I get the point in synopsis but now synopsis doesn't really tell anything but clishe determinition plot thing, albeit in kind of critical manner but still. The point of the synopsis is either info dump enough to advertice the whole world building, or invest reader to spesific main character/s or offer some unique or very spesific scenario that might interest people as a advertisement. It really has to motivate people to open your novel. Because of these reason I recommend re-writing it based on your world and actual setting.
              -Antihero genius, I hope this is done by not making everyone else stupid.
              -When you steal 95 imperial coins?? So whats the value of it, could MC say that this wont even buy me 1 week of food or something comparable. This is always very important when any number of coins or currencies are first introduced.
              -Damn the story flow is pretty decent, only thing I would want more is decent info dumping at some point but its good going.
              -Dialogue is practical, could write more feelings meta on it to florish the characters acts.
              -Status window all details again, Ok good no status window spamming, this is probl most balanced use of it what I have seen for a long time.
              -If you use missions/quest keep them open enough not to create tunnel vision for all the activities of MC. More of advice at this point.

                  Sneakycat098

                  But of course 😁
                  -According to the synopsis it will be a spicy ride into comedy lovestory with BLU ROYAL CHEESE my friends the cheesiest cheese there is.
                  -Hold up there is BL tag underneat, the drama just doubled, will the woman MC ever get it right or will someone else take the CEO and his money. We will find out in another episode just like in The Bold and the Beautiful what our grannies love to watch and they hit you if you go inbetween television on their worship hour. So if someone things romance comedy office social porn parody thing is a joke no, its not fun. Pretty far away from the fun. Its like 1.7 billion granmothers on you if you do it wrong.
                  -I klick the read and I can smell the cheese already/5
                  -Oh NO! The break up day! That is da worse okay! You have to have at least 4 to 10 hours facial scrub mask and cucumbers on your eyes while you wollow one day in agonizing self pitty like martini without olive and on the next day in the first half an hour of the day you download tinder again and get to work while forgetting your piece of work ex completely, although crying about it in therapy for 4 years. Thats cheese with ravioli on top.
                  -A woman who cant clean her stuff/5. This princess is going to suffer I just know. Will we see the hit the wall period and regrets of not edicating herself properly and other stuff. Oi joi joi. But reader do not worry, maybe the INHERITANCE can help year or two. (Hey your review is shit there is no inheritance* I tought to myself. But inheritance is like pinacle of arbitrary cheesy social dickwaving among the despides relatives. Will we see this drama eventually in face slap style?)
                  -I don't know is it a genre thing but why these dramas are written in 70-90% dialogue form? World building is therefore depended on it and its very narrow and if the activity is not very unique it really doesn't help the reader to stay focused.
                  -Table of content is like manual if you hear it from the lips of your love you know its time to leave one day. Horror experience 5/5 victim game play, guilt trip, disapointment, such a indirect qualities. Luckily there are far more better women existing trustable, relatable, awkward and cute, odd habbits but so kind heart you almost cry when they happily do some basic stuff somewhere around the house and the knot around the cynical heart gets a bit lose. Love women but sell the pricesses to Poland to get Galleys.

                      Majer3 I see, noted. There are a few parts which I didn't quite understand but nonetheless, Thank you so much for the review😁

                        Thanks for everyone for the interest and fun. I think around 30+ reviews will be enough (otherwise I will be repeating myself in many points). Hopefully everyone had great time 😆

                        For those who are interested about writing and discussions on writings we are creating writer community.
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                        You can also join on our discord. Good luck and see you on the other side.

                        Also, I will be updating majority of these reviews in cases where I can give at least 3-5 stars to the novel but it will take for a while. I still don't like to add the reviews on any work that genre I really don't follow and therefore the grading would be less just because I don't like the genre. That wouldn't be fair to the writers.

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