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Reading yours now, would really appreciate it if you took a look at mine too, I really feel like I'm taking a shot in the dark here without much feedback
https://www.webnovel.com/book/life-reader_25308161106785605
Giving A Review Swap with Exceptions
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you know how before reincarnation in a lot of FL stories, the character is all naive, or stupid, or shes perfect but she makes a dumb mistake.
The only way I could see your story work is SHE's PErfect, but oops, she makes a really dumb mistake and suddenly her life comes crashing down: scandal, drama, etc. and now she has to regain trust from people she takes for granted, but ML stands up for her and is there for her, also she learns to be less superficial and kinder in general, but also smarter.
I'm going to refrain from reviewing yours unless you want me to write you a five-star review, which I can do for free if you want.
got two more to read. I'll be right there.
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cliche title which makes it easy to search for, but also easy to forget. Keep that in mind. This is why light novel titles are so long: so they have something memorable, and cliche at the same time.
If you have anything that you dislike about the beginning, aka first few chapters, know that I had some edits done, where I remove A LOT of unnecessary stuff and add more interesting plot points, but I haven't gotten up to updating it on site.
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Why do we care that he's getting a system at the beginning? Notice how we do not care, whereas in Solo leveling, the MC actually has a reason: he gets backstabbed, some ancient dungeon magic, and boom, aka a prologue or at least a truck kun, y'know.
In this case tho, the mc is kinda perv, which is ok, but it reads like "I don't talk to girls or see them as people," and it just so happens the system is a subservient girl who calls him lord and master, what's next, is he gonna #### her?
Now, it's ok to have a perv mc, as long as it's done well. It's ok to have harem if it's done well. For ex, tales of demon of gods, because the mc can be perverted at times sure, but you can tell he genuinely loves 2/3 of those girls, we do not talk about the last one, because she's ew, cough anyway.
Also, it was a bit difficult to read the first chapter, a tad bit confusing. There's some typos/grammar stuff that makes it a bit hard to read ig.
Also, it's not my vibe, because the thing about villains in novels, is that they read like people that would piss me off so I don't really like reading novels with evil characters, mostly because unless your evil is "killing is fun, being shameless" I think I'll mostly just get annoyed because those people in real life would be annoying to be around.
In a sense, the type of evil your character is rn, is "mentally weak", "easy to anger" type, y'know the type of people who get angry and want to display their power to others. No matter how strong they are, the second a person questions their authority, they have to TRAMPLE It, even though "mentally strong" people would just smirk and prove them wrong with their actions, if u catch my drift. I get its because of the system, but yeah.
I finished with yours. I thought it was entertaining. I especially enjoyed the little puns/play on words. There were a few sections that might have had typos or were just unclear to me, like the 66'666 number in the prologue or other instances that I can pick out if you'd prefer.
Overall, it's an enjoyable concept with interesting enough characters. If I were to give you something to improve upon, it would just be overall clarity. Whether it be typos or just sections that seem almost interrupted from the general flow of the story, I think there's room for improvement there (though now that I look at it again, it seems to get better in the later chapters as well). I can leave a positive review as well if you'd like
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Oh lol I just commented on that, didn't see this before my bad
TallyArtist oh, pick those out. I would love to see some of those unclear parts.
The 66'666$ is just a joke. No price tag works like that. Flip the number upside down and you get $999.99
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lots of potential, problem is that ur genre is really unpopular. GL is like not read by a lot of people, because while bl has crossover from girl's demographic, not many guys read GL, so it just has less audience. That being said, the title also doesn't catch my eyes. My title kinda sucks too, but I'm too lazy to redraw my cover or rebrand lol, maybe you could name it, "Love burns like Tinder". Also not a fan of pov switches in the first chapter, which is ironic, since I do it too, but anyway cough.
AuHNG
I see, I wondered about that, since I thought it would make more sense upside down, but it wasn't clear.
As for non-clear moments, in chapter 1 where you go from a confused state of where he is to the acts of a play that seems unrelated, and then in a classroom? Looking closer now, I think you made that part a dream, but the swap to the dream seems unnatural. Another way you could do this to have the same effect of "not knowing if its a dream" but wanting to be more clear would be to take out the beginning part about the ai, and just start the story there
That way it would go from dream-reality and the reader's expectations would change, especially with the prologue. Now, it goes from real-dream-real, and I think the swapping of dream to real only really has an impact once.
Also, reading closely I get the part about semicolonc now, but at first glance, the :-l just looked like the number -1, with the colon before it just introducing the name.
Hi guys. I'm ready for a review swap. Here's my linkhttps://link.medium.com/u7Ider5GCwb
TallyArtist k after reading ur novel, I can say it has potential, but your writing ain't all the way there, yet. WIll be giving it 5 stars, and I'll recommend reading duolu dalu for a pop novel in the same genre
alr, makes sense.
Thank you, any major ideas of where I can improve? Like is it unclear, paced too fast, or something else?
Hi, I'm ready for a review swap. Here is my story:
https://www.webnovel.com/book/miss-marvelous-high-school-freshman_25060155905732105###
Enjoy! 
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AuHNG Yeah, I definitely get that. Thanks for the honest thoughts btw! My story probably reads like a typical anime plot right now, but it's basically just the prologue; just a bit of incentive to care about the MC and his family before I yeet him off into the actual " more fantasy" setting lol. And actually, making engaging things happen in the story is something I kind of struggle with, but I'll work on that for sure! It's hard getting my imagination into writing lol
