Webnovel.Forum

Junni_MC
Will take a look now!

Hi all! I'm looking to get feedback on my novel to learn how to make my content more interesting for the readers.

In return, I will read your novel and give you feedback. I'll most likely give you a high review as well if I see something I like or just general potential in your writing. I'm also learning a lot by seeing what other successful authors are doing, so I'd be happy to check your novel out!

Here is a link to mine: https://www.webnovel.com/book/life-reader_25308161106785605

Be brutally honest here in the comments, and still honest but maybe less brutal in the review section lol. I look forward to reading your story!

AuHNG

Thank you, any major ideas of where I can improve? Like is it unclear, paced too fast, or something else?

AuHNG
I see, I wondered about that, since I thought it would make more sense upside down, but it wasn't clear.

As for non-clear moments, in chapter 1 where you go from a confused state of where he is to the acts of a play that seems unrelated, and then in a classroom? Looking closer now, I think you made that part a dream, but the swap to the dream seems unnatural. Another way you could do this to have the same effect of "not knowing if its a dream" but wanting to be more clear would be to take out the beginning part about the ai, and just start the story there

That way it would go from dream-reality and the reader's expectations would change, especially with the prologue. Now, it goes from real-dream-real, and I think the swapping of dream to real only really has an impact once.

Also, reading closely I get the part about semicolonc now, but at first glance, the :-l just looked like the number -1, with the colon before it just introducing the name.

AuHNG

I finished with yours. I thought it was entertaining. I especially enjoyed the little puns/play on words. There were a few sections that might have had typos or were just unclear to me, like the 66'666 number in the prologue or other instances that I can pick out if you'd prefer.

Overall, it's an enjoyable concept with interesting enough characters. If I were to give you something to improve upon, it would just be overall clarity. Whether it be typos or just sections that seem almost interrupted from the general flow of the story, I think there's room for improvement there (though now that I look at it again, it seems to get better in the later chapters as well). I can leave a positive review as well if you'd like