WEBNOVEL_OFFICIAL stickied the discussion.
【Filipino Novel Challenge Day 3】 We picked up Perfect Secret Love today!
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4.0
its good it can be understood the way the english line written mirrored the exact word in tagalog.its not perfect it has flaws yes but it doesnt affect the translation itself.rest assured that the line was very well delivered.
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This is a lot better than the previous one so i'll rate it 4.25
'But how am i going to change?' was translated to 'Ngunit paano ba ako magbabago?' That's a correct translation but i dont think the way we think to ourselves is that formal.. perhaps
'Pero paano nga ba ako magbabago?' is better.
'It was her best friend from her previous life!'
Was translated to..'Siya ay ang kanyang matalik na kaiibigan noong previous life niya!'
'Previous life' wasnt even translated to 'huling buhay', 'unang buhay' or 'nakaraang buhay', perhaps..
'Siya ang matalik niyang kaibigan noong nakaraang buhay niya!'
Maybe thats better. I constructed the sentence better, removing 'ay ang kanyang' and instead used 'niyang'.
'Immedietely, she saw the face of a person she'd never forget' was translated to.. 'Agad niyang nakita ang isang mukang hinding hindi niya makakalimutan.'
It could be shorten to..
'Agad niyang nakita ang mukhang hinding-hindi niya malilimot'.
'Inaantay pa rin siya kanyang mga..'
You forgot to use 'ng' kanyang...
'she couldnt do anything that would provoke him again' was translated to 'hindi pa niya kayang gawin ang kahit anong maaaring magbunsod ng galit sa kanya'.
It should be..
'Hindi pa niya pwedeng gawin ang anumang magbubunsod ng galit sa kanya'.
To be honest, i dont really care much about grammar. Like using hyphens and stuff.. Some other people would talk about that and you should perhaps listen to them instead.
What matter the most to me is reading comfortably without my head aching from all the translation mistakes..Cause that's all that matters right? Sometimes in Filipino, a perfect grammar is even annoying. There's no need to be too formal in you're language nowadays. In the first place we're reading a novel instead of a news report..
You could use contractions.
'sa iyo' could be shorten to sa'yo cause thats how you would speak..
Dont translate word for word..
Anyway, just my opinion, what you should do is to construct the sentence better making it more readable and shorter without losing the essence of the original source..
Eg.. 'Ang hindi mabilang na pagsubok ni Shin Meng Qi para hikayatin siyang tumakas ay hindi nagtagumpay. Sa huling pagkakataon, siya ay pinagsususpetsyahan ng pangangaliwa. Tila ba'y determinado si Shin Meng Qi na sirain ang buhay ni Ye Wan Wan hanggang kamatayan.'
It could be..
'Ang hindi mabilang na pag-hiyakat ni Shin Meng Qi, para tumakas siya ay hindi matagumpay. Sa huling pagkakataon, pinagsuspetsyahan pa siya ng pangangaliwa. Tila ba'y determinado siya hanggang kamatayan, na sirain ang buhay ni Ye Wan Wan.'
ID: 4301045905
In case you forgot.. When would we receive the SS anyway??
CKtalon changed the title to 【Filipino Novel Challenge Day 3】 We picked up Perfect Secret Love today!.
4.0 for my taste this is too formal. Since most of the readers are young adults, you can use some english, like on the 'matalik na kaibigan' you can use the 'bestfriend'.
'Kay Si Ye Han, mas madaling durugin si Ye Wan Wan kaysa sa isang langgam. Nakukuha niya kahit anong gusto niya.' it can be as
- para kau Si Ye Han, mas madaling durigin si Ye Wan Wan na parang langgam. Nakukuha nya kung ano man ang kanyang gustuhin.
'Mabuti na ito dahil hindi na siya ang dating hangal, tanga, at mapusok na kabataan.'
- mabuti na lang at hindi na sya kagaya ng dati na, hangal, walang paki-alam at mapusok na kabataan for me the word 'tanga' is the same as 'hangal'
'Pinanatili ni Ye Wan Wan ang kanyang pagiging kalmado at tinanggal ang kanyang mga kamay. Umiling siya at sinabing, “Ayos lang ako.”
- you can use 'ito' at the 'umiling sya at sinabing...'
the rest I didn't read sorry. But my main point is, you can use 'taglish' both tagalog and english, if you use only filipino it'll be formal. I also recommend that find a translator that is Filipino or an editor, if you really want to have filipino version of this. but most filipino knows english so there's no problem, if its either.
tagalog = filipino. Tagalog is what we call for most filipino used dialect.
Webnovel_Patriarch Today or during the weekend.
3.7
This is literally a word for word translation, such that even the word order is almost like the English version. It is very unnatural and not very pleasant to read. For Filipino translations, it is often not a good idea to use exact word equivalents. It would be better to use phrases that mean the same thing instead of translating almost exactly down to the conjunctions. As a language, Filipino is very wordy, and there are numerous ways to express the same thought. Unfortunately, the translator got the general idea right, but not the feeling. It is way too stiff. Simply rearranging the words and using contractions would improve the "feel" and the flow of this translation immensely.
There were unnecessarily borrowed English words, such as "previous life," which would have felt more natural if they were translated. Since this is a translation into Filipino and not Tagalog (there is a distinction), borrowing words is not such a big deal, but it must not be distracting or ruin the flow of the sentence.
The translation is okay, but it needs a really good editor to make it engaging to read.
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4
Translation is good but the feeling doesn't convey the meaning. Word for word translation hampers the meaning of the conversation, it's very stiff and makes it like literary piece. Filipino novels nowadays use shorten words (sya, nya, 'ko, kesa, ba't, kelan instead of siya, niya, ako, kaysa, bakit, kailan respectively) even the conversation itself would sometimes spell the words phonetically (words are not properly spelled out).
Ngunit paano ako magbabago? can be written as Pero papaano ‘ko magbabago?
Kay Si Ye Han, mas madaling durugin si Ye Wan Wan kaysa sa isang langgam. Nakukuha niya kahit anong gusto niya. would be Para kay Si Ye Han, mas madali syang durugin kesa sa isang langgam. Nakukuha niya anuman ang gustuhin niya.
I'm not sure how to say it but the sentence construction sounds choppy, cutting off in mid air that's why it felt stiff and formal. Lessening the words and avoiding too many modifiers may smoothen it out. Like a sweet talker instead of a court arbiter. Like an elegant song instead of a staccato rap.
pilit na tinanggal ang kanyang takot sa lalaki. can be sapilitan nyang pinakawalan ang takot sa lalaki.
Siguradong may iba pang paraan! is simply Siguradong may paraan pa!
Mabuti na ito dahil hindi na siya ... na kabataan. can be like Kahit pa paano, hindi na sya ... na dalagita.
Word arrangement or appropriate use of words easily affect its mood. It can be formal or infomal. It can also be a bit relaxed and not too casual.
Sa pagkakarinig niya ng boses na ito is a bit stiff compared to Nang marinig ang pamilyar na boses,
My suggestions are in the manner of informal but not so casual tone. More of an informal right before becoming formal type.
ID 4300259642 
4.0
The translation is not bad. It is actually good but I think it can be better. Do not follow the word for word translation. Translate it on how it feels. If it sounds too formal, it will be very hard to read or have a feel with it.
If some words are better expressed in English then might as well use English on it, example was the use of "previous life",
Tumungo si Ye Wan Wan habang tumitingin sa kanyang mga kamay na binabalot ng sakit dahil
sa mahigpit na hawak ni Shen Meng Qi. Sa pagkakataong ito, hindi niya na nakaligtaan ang
itinatagong pagseselos nito. - a bit confusing if SMQ or YWW is being jealous. It can be "itinatagong pagseselos ng kaibigan".
3.5
As a Filipino I can understand it but I wont be interested in reading the Filipino version because of the word per word translation. Its too stiff and wont get the young readers attention. The translation lack the feelings or emotion that we feel when we read the english version or other Filipino books.
I suggest to use informal words and proper phrasing that the other commentors provided. Please also be mindful of using action words (pandiwa in Filipino) since "pandiwa" will determine if the action happened in the past, or if its ongoing, or will happen in the future.
Huminga ng malalim si YWW at pilit na tinanggal ang kanyang takot. - tinanggal is in past tense, it should have been "tinatanggal" since YWW is still in the process of doing it (removing her fear of SYH)
Sa pagkakarinig niya ng boses na ito - could have been translated this way, Nag marinig niya ang pamilyar na tinig/boses
Page 2. 5th english sentence could have been translated as
Sa napakaraming pagtatalo sa pagitan nila ni SYH wala siyang ibang pinagsabihan maliban sa matalik na kaibigan,si SMQ.Sino nga bang mag-aakala na...
ID: 4122428160
Score: 3.0-3.5
Comments:
First, try to broad Tagalog terms when translating them from the English version. In terms of audience, direct translation is good for young readers. Its quite a trend in the current market. Some avids (reader) though will favor one degree deeper than the translation. Use of idioms would be good even if the English version doesn't tell. I suggest that you atleast perceive to par the Filipino Literature. Which is deeper, the stronger to evoke emotions. Its Filipino synonyms can be provided by search engines.
Second, lines are well translated that it gives off different meaning. Sometimes lacking in emotion.
Example :
Eng version: Ye Wan Wan maintained her composure and drew her hands back.
Tagalog : Pinanatili ni Ye Wan Wan ang kanyang pagiging kalmado at tinanggal ang kanyang mga kamay.
" Tinanggal ang kanyang kamay " meant she chopped off her hands. so in this case it is okay to use repetition.
So to correct this the phrase would be...
Tinanggal ang kanyang kamay could follow the details such as from where did she draw her hands ? to whom she drew her hands back?
The answer lies to the previous sentences which suggesting Ye Wanwan was talking to the antagonist and what the antagonist did to her hands.
so the better translation for this sentence would be like
Pinanatili ni Ye Wan Wan ang kanyang pagiging kalmado at tinanggal ang kanyang mga kamay " sa mahigpit na pagkakahawak ni Meng Qi".
Lastly, limit the use of english words. The fewer the better though it is understandable that not all could be translated to Filipino. Sometimes, changing them how Pinoy enunciate those words are acceptable.
For now, I think its readable but the enjoyment is lesser than the english translation.
Webnovel_Patriarch oh mas maganda nga siguro Yung malalim na Tagalog, para din dun sa ibang Hindi na nakaka Alam ng lumang tagalog
WEBNOVEL_OFFICIAL I can give this a 4, growing up with the recent changes in the Filipino language, some words are transliterated and don't give the proper meaning or proper idea that the author is trying to say. There are a lot of words that can be used, but in a strict sense of the word, since most of us here are not linguist and we are not reading a classic, it would be better to use the modern Filipino with English in conversations. Firstly they are a wealthy family so for sure they wouldn't terms that will not be taught in their environment. Second, since most users would probably get the idea using the Taglish (Tagalog+English, where most of the Filipino words are adapted from), it's more appropriate than a whole direct Filipino translations.
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I'm still standing on you finding a filipino editor or translator. It should be a filipino who currently in the Philippines, or someone who studies filipino language or anyone who knew the modern filipino language. Because the novel was a light and casual so using formal filipino language is a not suitable to what the novel really is.
I rate it 3.5 because this translation work is almost translated word for word. Some English words translated to Filipino are not exactly the same of what the author meant and the Filipino readers might be confused on what the author is trying to tell. Another thing that I noticed is the use of action words which are not in their right tense. Well some Filipino readers could manage to understand this translation but most of them would't understand the plot really well. I earnestly recommend that you get Filipino translators to translate this work in order for this work to be properly translated. As far as I know most Filipino are really good at English and most can properly translate english to filipino and vise versa.
P.S. Don't forget my spirit stones if ever...
ID: 2625836028
i'll rate this 3.5... though it was translated in a full tagalog version, some words were translated inaccurately..
i think for those who wanted to translate english to tagalog... better translate by sentence and not word for word...
and much better if it will be translated into tag-lish version... much more fun to read...