I am trying improve, as a writer.

Would love for someone, to give me some direction.
Someone willing to spend a bit of time with me perhaps 1/2 a week?

What are my biggest problems?
I saw a review board, but after I saw the reviews, I noticed they really do not help others. =[
Perhaps what I wrote is boring etc? After all no one will read about a normal phone call to the police.
If a writing sample is required, I can post or share with discord/email?

Below is a synopsis I wrote, and a few toughts I have on it.

Any input would be lovely, things you think are good/bad.

Tossed into an unfamiliar world, she panics unsure of how to proceed. 
 
All she knows, is that someone caused this and he shall suffer. 
 
Her only clues, were that person had a reason for bringing her here, and that He was a powerful mage. 
 
 Is this the ‘Golden Age?’ She asked herself. 
 
Will I encounter a woman to love me in these times? 
 
She looked around and saw magic tricks and wondered if it was popular in this place? 
 
Can she learn magic and is it possible to find the man who did this? 
 
Should she stay or return home?  
 

Perhaps it is to short? Should I talk about the plot more?

    Niglover
    Yep it is short but even if you give more samples it wouldn’t help much. You need someone to beta read something that you have already finished (or at least a few chapters done).

    By the way I would read for how someone is tying his shoes if it is writen well, not to mention about a call to the police ;)

        Niglover Seems to me like this is a “transported into another world” story.

        You may already know, but the genre has been really oversaturated these years. And there’s a reason for that. You need to understand what makes these types of stories work, and try to extract the good points.

        Here i’ll help you:
        They work, because they make you feel good. A good story, always evoke some emotions.
        Popular stories, they’d make you laugh, or cry. (Take One Piece or Harry Potter for example.)
        Chinese novels make you angry and then gleefull after a successful faceslap.

        And transported into another world makes you satisfied. They make you feel special, which is why they add some kind of unique ability, just for good measure.

        When I read a synopsis, I want to know, what kind of emotions I will feel.
        Will I feel suspenseful? Will I be sad? Will I laugh hysterically?

        Your synopsis does not offer that. I don’t really care what happens to that girl, as I feel no emotional connection. I don’t need to care.

            Hyowha Thanks!

            I edited it somewhat quickly with your advice in mind. Do you think this is the right direction?

            Tossed into an unfamiliar world, she panics unsure of how to proceed. 
             
            All she knows, is that someone caused this and he shall suffer. 
             
            Her only clues, were that person had a reason for bringing her here, and that He was a powerful mage. 
             
             Is this the ‘Golden Age?’ She asked herself. 
             
            Will I encounter a woman to love me in these times? 
             
            She looked around and saw magic tricks and wondered if it was popular in this place? 
             
            Can she learn magic and is it possible to find the man who did this? 
             
            Should she stay or return home?  
             

                Good luck in going in our a writer. i hope this will help, to start a good novel it good to start with the world building meaning, create the world law,culture and races etc. by doing this you will have a general direction to move. as for character building. look good for a starter. and the plot for the synopsis. errm it think i look ok for now. good luck in your writing. if you need someone to help read your story. i don't mind helping out though i maybe a bit to one type as i like two type of story line which is overpower character at start or start from scratch. and you can also try add in some elements that make character see some failure as most novel nowadays only make the story smooth flow and no hardship.

                  NightmareChoas

                  Thanks for your input, I would be honored if you looked commented on any of my chapters =]

                      It good Synopsis, i can't wait for the story to come out, as for more info and sample i will recommend this one
                      https://mangarock.com/manga/mrs-serie-115822. it about In Another World, I'm Called: the Black Healer. also kidnap case. you can use this as reference for your synopsis. Hope this help you./

                        @Niglover
                        As for the world Building guild, i got some good guide from youtube, you can use this to help with your world building detail
                        Worldbuilding is in the Details :

                        How Worldbuilding Begins — Worldbuilding Series :

                        3 Easy Steps for World Building :

                        Hope this help.

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