Chryiss give a try
Mercenary Startup
Recommend your own Book!
Mind if I join in? This is my first story here on webnovel, will be updating in a few hours!
https://www.webnovel.com/book/13150526106932405/VR
Summary: The year is 2113. The real and virtual worlds have never been more intertwined - only, that seems to be the problem. Increasingly so.
When twisted individuals seek to take this technological advancement to new and possibly immoral grounds, it's up to a young group of gamers to save both their virtual sanctuary, and the fate of mankind.
Genres: Scifi, Fantasy, Mystery, RPG.
Subgenres: Action/Adventure, LGBTQ, Thriller.
Wow, Can I shamelessly join in? :grin:
Title: Under The Veil of Night
Synopsis:
Kanae Nali lives in a city known as the “City of Crime." The city only follows one law: only the strongest can live. Citizens are divided according to their clans, groups, gangs, and normal civilians.
Fighting is normal, death is inevitable, and extortion is common.
From outside, Kanae appears to be a regular High School Student who tries to live a normal school life. However, unbeknownst to many, her ordinary life is not as simple as it seems.
tags so far: school life, secret identity, slow pace story
Thank you :smiley:
Chryiss Thank you for your suggestions. I will definitely go back and edit my pass chapters. Please continue to leave any construction criticism you might have. I want to grow as an author.
Copy_Paste_Ninja Just left a comment and review. Is this your first story?
mountwolf89 I’m mostly just commenting as a pure reader. When I finish the last chapter I’ll post a review.
https://www.webnovel.com/book/13253199606269305/CEO-of-my-Heart
Title: CEO of my Heart
Synapsis
Facing a marriage deadline, CEO Henry Wong impulsively weds Ellie Chen, a broke college student dying of car accident wounds. In return, her younger sister will receive a generous scholarship -- and Henry will have the enchanting Ellie as a wife, if only for a few days. Then fate takes a hand, and Henry suddenly finds herself with a healthy, vibrant wife -- a siren he finds it hard to keep his eyes off of.
Genre: Romance
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Reflex Oh just saw your post now lol. Added to library to read.
Edit: Finished. Even though the chapters aren’t short, 5 chapters is too short for a review, so I’ll wait until you have around 10. I keep my expectations somewhat low for Webnovel, but your story had nice writing. You got me as a reader now. :)
Chryiss Okay thanks for your input.
Chryiss Yes it's my first time writing. But ive changed a lot of the story after you read it, if you want you can try again sometime .
A shameless self-promotion? Count me in!
This is another MCU fanfic, but there is a difference from every other MCU fanfic. I don't insert tits and self-gratification s*x scenes. If you're in for a comedy-packed adventure troupe, then give it a try.
Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/13257295306279205/I'm-just-an-'Ordinary'-Human
Me too me too!
Title: Dominic
Genre: Fantasy, Supernatural, Romance
Author: me!
Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/13011773506401705/Dominic
Synopsis: ''Shut up!'' I said with pure madness while I was feeling my blood boiling inside my veins. Also I was thankful for the rain which was covering my back. After all, I was sure they could not follow me now. I was smiling. ''Do not smile now, it is not the time.'' he said. But I knew this was the time I could laugh. ''Don't be scared. They cannot even see you. Mr.Ghost.'' I said while he was looking pretty upset.
here is my work. Hinder-Rella's is a spin off of Cinderella. Prologue, actual story and finish. So yes it has been completed. I also have my second book My Way To You. I have taken a darker more fantasy approach but it starts off as a 12 year old girlwho is sold to a brothel but decides to change her world. It's darker, some people could not stomach the violence in Hinder-Rella and this is more gore detailed.
https://www.webnovel.com/book/11241536305310005/Hinder-Rella
And
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Scarlettbunny
May I join too?
Here's the link to my novels.
Pinnacles' Edge
https://dynamic.webnovel.com/book/12905905906952205
Title: Broken Caged Heart
Genre: Romance Fiction
Author: mvphoenix (me haha)
Synopsis: Greed , Money, and Power. Is this all that matters? Why does the world revolve around them? Why is it that they are important to everyone? If this is what the world has come to I want to be excluded.
This world is filthy. Is it worth living in such a place?
I am so stupid to think that I could live cleanly in such a world. I'm so unlucky.
The darkness has touched me.
Can I still hope for love?
https://www.webnovel.com/book/13041938605448705/Broken-Caged-Heart
ᕕ( ◔3◔)ᕗ
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Since this thread was stated not to be a review swap, and I didn’t promise to give a review (even though I did for the stories read), I’ll send my thoughts on your story through this thread instead :P
Any type of constructive criticism would be helpful. This noob writer would be thankful if you drop by...Thank you!
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The World Can Go to Hell For All I Care
Synopsis-
I have one straight goal. To join the army, go into battle, earn money and glory.
Oh! Wait! I ain’t some patriotic soldier to lay down my lives for the sake of the country, no that shit is for people with some loose screw.
I just want the money so I could feed my little brother and sister, their world is only what I want to protect.
Also, I want glory so I could overwrite and clean the name of my father who tarnished the family name. We became a laughing joke in the country and even mom abandoned us. No, I don’t know if he betrayed the country or not, I don’t care. But I don’t want my little kid brother and sister to face the same mockery and hatred of the people as I did.
Just to protect the smiles of the only family I have, I would do anything.
But life knows to shit on you when things were just getting good.
Title: The Damn Hunter
Link: https://www.webnovel.com/book/12138731905986405/The-Damn-Hunter
Synopsis: Yang Guang is the last hunter protecting his city from The Damn, creatures from another universe aiming to harm humans to strengthen themselves but the damn are not the only problems that Yang Guang need to face as he ventures beyond the small city into the world and discover a secret that should not be reveal for another two thousand years.
Hope you enjoy my novel :D
Title: The Saga of A Mage Family
Links: https://www.webnovel.com/book/12834909906612205/The-Saga-of-A-Mage-Family
Synopsis: Tyas is a product of joint experiments between earth science and Iocyania magical technology. Previously, Tyas was just a monkey lab. Now that the evolution has been complete in a lab scale, Tyas has a physical body that is not much different from the magical girl in the city of Mage, except for her tail, which traces her origins. Because of this, she was allowed to roam in Iocyania, the planetary home of the mage.
Prof. Jack adopted Tyas as his daughter, along with other abandoned children they found. He was teaching them mathematics, science, Earth modern pop culture, MMA and even Earth superstition.
While the Magus, Meyrlion Titan appointed Tyas and her foster sibling to be his primary students. Teach them all the top-notch mage sciences in Iocyania.
Without Tyas and her family realizing, the era in Iocyania would undergo a drastic change. War on the national struggle, hunting of natural resources and magefuel and global warming will be the toughest challenges for them to survive in Iocyania.
Without them knowing it, a large hole had appeared in the Iocyania atmosphere, due to the use of forbidden magic sigils.
And the fire of the challenge was slowly targeting their residence in Mount Luwa, and the cities of the mages: Magetan and Magelang City.
PeachyPearl I checked out your second novel. Not sure if I should leave a review on there or in the forum so I'll just post it here. Sorry if it's a bit brutal but this is my honest opinion so if you have any questions about why feel free to ask.
Writing Quality: 3.5 stars
Stability of Updates: Can't really tell
Story Development: Not much has happened (too early to tell)
Character Design: 3.5 (for me it's a bit too cliche)
World Background: Not much has happened (too early to tell)
Lots of grammar mistakes in the first chapters. Things like not capitalizing in the beginning of a new sentence or switching between past and present tense. And some spelling mistakes as well. There were some run on sentences that just seemed to keep adding on. It's fine if they're split up into two sentences. Sometimes the pause that comes with an added period can make things flow better than one long sentence.
Ex.) "Though the mystery remained unchanged as to why she broke up with the one she really loved, why her friends were hyping it up saying it was a courageous decision, and why they said her breakdown wasn't caused solely because of her parting with Danish, but their 'birdy'had returned."
"Though the mystery remained unchanged as to why she broke up with the one she really loved, why her friends were hyping it up, saying it was a courageous decision. Why they had said her breakdown wasn't solely caused by her parting with Danish, but even more important than that, their 'birdy' had returned."
I added in some commas and a period while fixing the spacing between 'birdy' and had. I tried to make it flow better while keeping the main things about it.
Some sentences didn't really flow well because of you wanting to add in so much which made them a bit choppy.
Though it surprised me when in chapters 5-6 the writing "style" changed. From short and fast to longer and more detailed. Maybe it's a sign of the story evolving more? Or an expansion of the world for the reader? Just be careful to not have super long paragraphs, I have the same problem which I'm working on, whereas the long paragraphs make it harder for mobile readers to read without straining their eyes.
Your descriptions of Vyakhya were really nice and almost poetic. Loved the detail in them as well!
Though I am intrigued as to why she broke up with him, I'm sorry I can't give you a higher rating but since it's fairly new I didn't want to post a low score review on your novel. Keep working on it and just be sure to double check on your grammar.
Yuyumamoru well thanks for your reply. Actually I forgot to mention it in my post that for this novel I was only hoping for honest opinions and not really reviews because I too think it's a bit too early to ask for it. I actually only wanted to see my own novel from a reader's perspective.
As for the mistakes I made, thank you for pointing them out. I'll definitely make the needed edits.
Also, when you've time read my other novel because that's the one I was hoping a review for. Thank you again.