The_Canary Okay, Sev. Finished reading your story! :)
Overall, it's a promising one. The only issues you need to work on is, obviously, the grammar, more on the plot cause it's kind of giving me that typical trope that you see in anime these days.
Like 'transfer into the supernatural world, gets admitted into a magic school' and such.
Since this is your official story, don't be afraid to be different. People may be estrange to it at first, but when they see a good story plot that has the potential to become great. Something unique, and never seen before. They will come and read that story. Even though my story is only two weeks old, I thought it wouldn't get popular, but I was proven wrong when I saw the amount of people reading it and adding it into their library.
It gave me hope that I'm doing something right, and I hope the best for you as well! :)