Random and Thoughts
Eighth Thought: Food choices
One day, my mother asked my sister and I what we would want for dinner. Being the weirdos we were, we looked at each other for a short moment and yelled "rice and fish sauce!"
My mother proceeded to ask which side dishes we want. Meat, vegetables - all that nice jazz. Thinking she would not listen to us, we shook or head to all of them. We told her nothing else is required, rice and fish sauce was sufficient.
Fast forward three hours or so and there we were, staring at rice mixed with fish sauce. Nothing more, nothing less. My mother? She shook her head at her stupefied children whilst digging into one steamed fish drowned in fish sauce and spices.
In the end, my sister and I boiled eggs and drenched them in more fish sauce. Now, my sister and I have an inside joke where we often greet each other with "You got the fish sauce?" To make it more interesting, we speak in hushed voices loud enough to be heard, think of drug dealing if you know how that goes in movies. I think we received strange looks from people in hallways and on the bus, but man, is that fun!
Ninth Thought: Smelling citrus fruit peels
Back in ninth grade, my friend waved an orange peel in front of my face for fun and that was when my love for sniffing peels awakened. My friends started giving me peels whenever they had tangerines or oranges because they knew I liked the smell.
I moved schools and the first time I met my current friends, I was sitting in the cafeteria reading books on Wattpad and in my hand was a tangerine peel, which I was sniffing every minute or so. There were four students across from me at another table and two of them were facing me, looking at me weirdly. I stared at them, realizing I was caught in the act.
As lunch break ended, they walked over to my lonely table and the only female of the group said "Hey, you were sniffing those peels as if they were drugs. Are you okay?"
So, I had to explain that I was not high from smelling tangerine peels. I told them that I just enjoyed smelling citrus things. Then, they found out that I'm another weird one and from then on, I found more suppliers of peels.
Every time my best friend has a tangerine, he would give me the peel. Then, they would all watch, fascinated as I enjoy the smell and smile like I am actually intoxicated.
I know some people enjoy odd smells, but I don't consider this odd. There must be people out there who likes the smell of lemons, tangerines, limes and/or oranges, I am just one who does not care to be seen embracing the smells. I am quite weird, huh?
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Tenth Thought: I was once the dumbest kid in my class
Up until third grade, I was behind all my peers because I could not speak English. I had always lived in an English-speaking country, yet my parents always spoke to me in their native language. When I started kindergarten, they realized I had to understand English to be the average kid in school. So, I went to a half-day program at a second school everyday.
I could not communicate with anyone, I was quite a loner. I would be confused when teachers say something and the other kids react how they were supposed to. Slowly, I learned the alphabet while others were learning words. I was learning how to spell my name when others where learning how to write sentences. I understood most of the necessary words and then, French classes slapped us all on the nose in grade one!
I lagged so much in that class because I was trying to learn English and French. I focused so much on English that I forgot how to speak my parents' language by grade two. I was doing well in English, but math was an issue. To me, it seemed like a whole new language. Multiplication, subtraction, addition, division! I could not even pronounce those long words while teachers would say those words every time they spoke.
Fast forward to grade six and I took part in another program for English, but this time was different. I was building my English skills with the top students in my class and I did better than them in this program. I was very confused at this point in my life. I thought I was stupid because I could not understand math or geography or French. The two subjects I did well in were religion and visual arts. I was surprised when the program said I was reading ninth grade texts in sixth grade.
Fast forward to ninth grade and I suddenly became one of the top students in most of my AP classes. I had read some books already in the sixth grade program. Everything seemed so clear to me after all those years of confusion and feeling stupid. My grades were not C's or F's like they were in elementary school. Currently, I am finishing up my high school life and I am looking back on the rough years. I think my English is decent enough for a high school kid. Imagine if I could speak and understand English from the start like other kids!
Today, I am happy for enduring teasing and now, I love learning. Wow, that got very personal, but I was thinking about this more often recently. I am almost out of high school with high grades when I started with zeroes? The lesson I learned is that knowledge does not come naturally. I needed to chase books, forget that I'm stupid, ignore those who say I am dumb, and I just had to work. As long as I was interested in a subject, I could learn everything humans know about it! Life is tough, but feeling little is tougher.
Eleventh Thought: Tears are from the ocean
Another memory of the past, another time when I was a dumb and innocent child.
Anyway, I discovered that the ocean was salty during one fateful trip to the beach. For a few years, I would try not to cry because I thought "Crying the whole ocean" was possible. I surely did not want to cry the big ocean and kill tons of fish. I realized that tears were salty, just like ocean water so I believed I could cry an ocean.
Now, I cry whenever I feel extremely stressed or frustrated, but I am always called out and questioned for doing so. When I was 'allowed' to cry, I would not. Now, when I want to cry, I can not?
Twelfth Thought: Procrastination Master
Things I do when I should be focusing on homework: Draw, sing, read webtoons, write my books, read books from the library and online, watch animal videos, watch kdramas, listen to music and watch their official videos, scroll through memes, eat chocolate, think about how my life would be if I left the homework alone.
Things I do when I finish homework: Nothing, I am bored and can't think of something to do.
I think I need help.
I’m living for these random thoughts—puts a smile on my face. 
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Thirteenth Thought: Terrible fear of syringes
I have always been afraid of getting shots, but I know I should receive them. Although I need them, I will never like them. That's my mentality for many things I do not like. Anyway, why would I cry at the thought of going to a clinic for shots? I guess the fear stems from past traumatic experiences. I will list them here.
1) The arm receiving the shot will feel a huge sting when poked by the syringe, then I can feel the needle sliding in and out.
2) After the needle is out, my arm aches for at least a day. The feeling is so uncomfortable that I cannot wear a jacket or sweater without irritation (soreness). I cannot even hold pencils. Luckily for me, my doctor says it's not serious.
3) I once felt itchy so I moved to scratch my arm with the arm not receiving shots. This moved my body at an angle that the needle was stuck for a long moment before the guy could pull it out. I thought I even broke it because I was a dumb kid who broke everything.
Then, there are blood tests. They hold a special place in my heart although I've only had my blood tested once after my mother would not believe the 'worms' on my hips were stretch marks. The first and only time seemed to be going well for a bit. The lady told me to count to fifteen or something, so I did. Then she said something. "There is no blood here, let's try this again." So, I looked as she pulled the huge thing out and proceed to stab me with a weird face. Then, she asked me if I could see the blood being drawn as if that would distract me. Even with blurred vision, I saw the special syringe slowly fill with my blood. I thought I would pass out, but nope. I stumble out of the room whilst holding a cottonball and my arm was dead. When I cannot hold a pencil with 'regular' shots, I could not lift my arm after drawing blood.
Stab me in the arm with a pencil, fork, or anything else that is pointy/sharp, I am fine with that.
So, summary of shared fears thus far: matches/fireworks/anything that can blow up and burn, and any type of syringe
ValKree I used to hate getting shots, especially blood being drawn. shivers But one day, I just relaxed and pretended nothing was happening and just stared out the window or wall, not focusing on my arm or that it existed, sorta. And I barely felt a prick. I still don’t like getting shots, but I’m over it mostly now.
Chryiss I also try to distract myself by looking elsewhere but the places I go to are not helpful. No windows, plain beige walls, closed doors, cabinets full of empty syringes... There are odd days though where I cannot feel a thing, not even a prick. However, those instances are 1/6?
Blood draws are the worst for me. The rooms are tiny with enough space for three people to sit on stools and there's the table for equipment. Maybe the lady missed because there were no lights too.
Then, it always seems like they think a high five would cheer me up when I can't really lift my arm without feeling an ache.
Fourteenth Thought: I'm very chill with dudes in my classes
In elementary school, the guys I was surrounded with were pure douches. Then, the guys during high school years are angels?
These specific stories happened this semester in advanced functions class.
1) When we were about to leave class one day, the guy sitting behind me stepped on my heel. I felt like I was being pulled back and I leaned back, holding my arms out like that dance where you pretend to push something off your chest. I froze and the guy who stepped on my heel leaned back and did the same thing. People asked if we were dancing or dating and we were like...HELL NO! He said we were cool cousins because we have the same last name and our parents were from the same country. Pretty funny dude.
2) The same guy borrowed my pencil last week and returned it to me today, somehow. In elementary school, if a guy was blessed enough to borrow my pencil, that pencil is either a magician or it would return to me with chew marks.
3) Another guy walked past me once and saw my hair fly because of the breeze he created. At the end of the class, he apologized. I did not understand because I don't remember him offending or hitting me. Then, he reminded me of the moment my hair flew and he thought I was hurt. My reaction: (O.O) Dude, was that why you were peeking at me during class?
4) A group of guys were fighting each other during exam review today because they needed my help with a question. I had my earbuds in, but I heard them talk about how they did not want to bother me. They were close to sacrificing their last brain cells to let me work although I was kind of waiting for them to ask.
5) Once, a tall guy was stretching his long legs sideways. He sat to my right and gasped when he kicked my ankle. It was like the time I accidentally stepped on my dog's paw. I was fine with the small incident, but he offered me a bandaid?
6) I did not feel very well one day and I had my head down the whole lesson. The guy sitting closest to the board put his notes in front of my face. He told me to take a picture of the notes and handed me a blue sticky note cheering me on because he thought I was on my period. I was not, but the effort was endearing.
That was when I realized I was not attracted to beautiful faces, but beautiful minds. You can be a female or a male, I will love you if you have a great personality and a decent mind. I don't know if there is a specific word for that. I'll search it up soon. Wow, these thoughts/story times are pretty long now. Next ones should be a few lines.
ValKree This was nice to read.
Some children are spawns of Satan, but as they grow up they learn common sense and consideration for others. Either that, or it’s the parents who raised them that way. Kudos to good parenting. It’s nice that you’re surrounded by good people. :)
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ihateyounot I have noticed that there are many factors involved. The major one is the area in which one lives. I moved high schools and although this new neighbourhood is only twenty minutes away from the previous, everyone in the school is decent. Even the little kids, but the adults are a bit questionable. Humans are so odd.
I still meet people from elementary school on the streets and they got worse. They go to better high schools than my previous one. The school I went to in grade 9 was known for being the 'ghetto school' of the city. There were many problems yet the majority were still cheerful and kind there.
Sometimes, I wonder what happened to the guys from elementary school for them to let go of the little decency they had. I also wonder how the girls are doing, dating them and all that stuff.
Being around good people feels so refreshing after ten years of bleakness. I try to be a good person because I like being happy and making others happy.
Fifteenth Thought: Acronyms for Remembering on Tests
If there are lists or different subtopics I need to remember for tests, I would write acronyms to help me remember all the material I may need to list. If I know the words I need to explain, I can easily do it right away instead of having to take a moment to remember them. Here are some memorable ones.
Grade 9 Religion: SIN
Grade 10 Religion: DICK (I usually write acronyms on the top of tests in case I forget, but will have to list something. No way was I putting that one beside my name)
Grade 11 Biology: DED (Funny)
Grade 11 Intro to Anthro, socio, psycho: YES
Grade 11 Philosophy: NOO
Grade 11 Philosophy: BOO (Poor Philosophy. Noo and Boo)
Grade 12 Religion: FTPT or PFTT (The noise I make a lot in that class although I should not)
Grade 12 Religion: JGG
Grade 12 Religion: ASS (I wrote this one down. Teacher put a question mark but no comments)
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Sixteenth Thought: What I used to do with Fruit in Yogurt
I'm a weird person...and I was a weirder kid.
When I was starting to learn how to eat yogurt, I always ate the yogurt and when I found a fruit, I would spit it back out to eat when there is no more yogurt. Sometimes, I would spend ten minutes just to eat one cup of yogurt. Looking back on it, I think that is weird. Somehow, my sister also picked up the quirk.
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ValKree I... I did a similar thing... but not with yoghurt. Yoghurt makes my stomach hurt. Instead, I used to do it with pudding or jellies that have fruits in them. For some reason, I didn’t like to eat the fruits so I spit ‘em out. Only when I grew up did I notice I was being a little weirdo—and wasteful too, ‘cause the fruits were actually the best part! 
ihateyounot oh, I was a tough kid who could eat almost everything that is edible. I rarely ate pudding or jellies and sadly, none of them had fruits if I did have those snacks.
In my case with the yogurt, I did eat the fruits after 'cleaning' them. Yep, doing something like that is weird.
ValKree Yeah! Now I ‘clean’ them up and eat the fruits afterwards, too. There’s just something satisfying about the ‘cleaning’, lol. Let’s be weird together~
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Seventeenth Thought: I Get nervous When I Publish my Works
Whether it is posting my drawings/digital art on Instagram and Deviantart or publishing new chapters on Webnovel, I always close my eyes when I press the final button that sends my things to the world. I am proud of my work before they are let out, but then I worry I need to change something or no one will like my stuff. I do things for my own happiness, however, I still care about others because they help me improve and continue posting.
I sometimes bite my nails for a while after posting new chapters or artwork and if I have chocolate at home, I would slowly snack on it until a few hours pass. After a certain amount of time, I feel less nervous. Then, the cycle begins again with new work going out.