So personally, I love my strange little stories that I for some odd reason decided to create and post.

But sometimes, I get this almost overwhelming urge to just delete it all.

Every single chapter, every story.

It's usually accompanied by a lot of other very self-deprecating thoughts (which is how I know I am a writer/artist - normal people don't go through that so intensely for something if they didn't care about it) that I won't get too much into. Just that the bad voices far outweigh the good. I feel like it would be easier, to just delete everything even though I will probably regret it later.

So I'm making this post to distract myself and wait for the urge to pass.

Does any other author go through this feeling? Why do you think this is? What's the final straw to go through with it?

As a reader has that ever happened to a book you were reading? What would you think if it did?

    When the harassment gets too much and readers pressure you to delete your story because you're "an idiot" or "an embarrassment" or "shameless for continuing to write even though you suck this badly."

    When you get 0.5 ratings everyday.

    When you get comments calling your story, your characters or you stupid.

    When readers demand that you change your story/characters to their liking and call you retarded when you refuse.

    When you get accused of plagiarism.

      Personally never did it but have dropped stories with the idea to write them better. I still have old plots in my head but I don't think I am good enough to bring them to their full potential. Therefore, I just wait until I feel ready. (:

        I have this same feeling all the time. It’s worst during those moments when I’m about to hit the publish button. The thoughts like ’am i good enough?’, ’will they finally drop my novel after this bad chapter?’, ’will my collections bleed out after this?’, ’does my writing/story/etc suck?’ and worst of all, ’do i even have readers or are these all bots/scrapers?’ These literally hinder me a lot and i go over my chapter at least an hour or two before I have the guts to press publish.

        I know I should just concentrate on writing, since it is my hobby and i truly love to just let my imagination run wild and let others enjoy it with me. But the deepseeded insecurities are really heavy sometimes.😔

        I just remind myself that I should be brave and just keep going, there are bound to be people who dont care for my story, people who love it and people who outright hate it, but thats life. And I want to live mine to the fullest.

        Authors, you arent alone, we all have insecurities. Stay strong and keep doing what you love!❤️❤️

        I reread many a times chapters to know if they are the best, because I want to create them in a way that they stand out. But I am also aware that I am yet far away from being an amazing author.
        I have decided to embrace my problems and start to solve them instead of fussing over it. Trust me it helps.
        You know the best part about reading a novel is you read and imagine a character according to your taste. It is not necessary that a character is wrong according to everyone. It is this thing that makes everything different.
        There have been times when I feel the scene is cliche and should not exist in the novel. But then I ask my friend to read and let me know.
        Reading your novel as a reader and as a author makes a big difference.
        Many a times I feel I am not doing good because I feel I am unable to bring up the mysterious vibe that I actually want. I feel like giving up many times. But I stick to it. I don't want to give up in the middle so I keep struggling to get the best.

        Tomoyuki stated it best, most often it's the negativity that forces people to remove their work, they just don't want to fight over it anymore.

        On the flipside there's always the occasion when authors jump to a different publishing platform. Wether it's a disagreement with webnovel contracting or what have you some other places have similar requirements that disallow multi site publishing.

        But more often than not it's the first case, though it's not always outside influence. An author is their own worst critic. Like myself, webnovel offered me a contract for my original novel. While I had questions about the contract itself the biggest deciding factor to reject becoming contracted was personal doubt.

        TIK was my first attempt at writing in almost thirty years, its plot is rushed, there's holes everywhere, there's no outline. Just my urge to tell a story, be paid for it? Hell no! If I showed it in my old literary classes I'd die of shame.

        Yet I continue it because I want to tell a story, I've had people question my process and ability, I've had them flame my characters and plot. The sole reason I never got rid of it is because theres still a couple of hopefuls waiting to see the end. It'll take awhile but I'll tell the story to its end.

        And then likely delete it 😋

        CCmei sorry, this is a tl;dr response.

        I pull works offline that doesn't test well.

        I struggle to gain readers 95% of the time. So if a story isn't getting hits, it's removed for reconsideration and a place where it might be loved.

        Having said this, I don't truly quit my stories. Rather try to find the best spotlight for them to hone an audience to completion.

        I'm a niche writer, so my challenges are double than most writers.

        I can't handle reader silence on my books anymore. Too many years of it. It's heartbreaking. Silence is the worst thing an author can experience in regards to readership. That just slays.

        So I'll move my books around where it's most active with human peeps, and I can be active with them. I guess this makes me nomadic. It's years of having to outrun the spambots and search for human life to my works. Old habits are hard to break. Lately I'm trying to be consistent by writing and publishing my stories to one main site and author brand.

        Going to the 5%. I've been lucky with some small wins and fleeting success experiences that have been invaluable. Nothing that makes me rank, but the moments have been ego boosts. I thrive on encouragement. In return give back to others whole heartedly since I know writing to publish is hard work and psychologically challenging. It can even be damaging to a degree.

        Then there's gaining industry insights through researching potential options.

        Yeah. My tl;dr of being a persistent peasant writer/tenacious author. 😈

        To add: Self doubt and depression is the other side of an author coin. Since its hard not to be vulnerable when writing a story. If no one reads a story published. That's a rejection hit to ego. If a reader complains and finds fault with the story, that's a rejection again.

        That's why rejection will always be a challenge to win against. Authors suffer this to produce their art. Imo.

            Sally112425

            It's impossible to tell the silent readers from the void, let alone the spammer bots.

            I greatly agree with Veronica8
            Sure authors have a story, but they water and thrive with feedback and the validation of readers. If nothing is around to help fuel the process, it's.....a lot harder. And it's different for everyone, author and readers alike. But we go were we feel wanted/appreciated. That's just human.

                  neaht3

                  Ah drop stories, where the ends fade away into oblivion. I got more barely started and drop stories and those I don't feel anywhere so bad about. Ideas pop up all the time, and they can always be saved for another day.

                  But if I waited till I felt ready to make my current active stories 'good enough' lol I would never get them done. I'll never be skilled/good enough to write the way I want. That's very sad...so I can only desperately try my best. Bc that story wants to be told, even if I suck at telling it.

                      CCmei I completely agree with you. Some times I am also demotivated when I don't get the feedback

                          CCmei Starting with a white sheet that beckons to present your story is better than you can.

                          Everything is simple, easy, interesting in the head, but you start writing it turns out to be tongue-tied, not as beautiful and interesting as it was in the head.

                          Sometimes I would like to delete old novels. To rewrite them and write one of three novels. But there is no such possibility.

                            CCmei Thank you for taking notice of my post. I though have to disagree. Have you heard of the GIGO concept? I follow that thought. If a story cannot be delivered in the right manner, is better not to tell it than half-*ssing it. However, as Voltaire said, "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it". In other words, I deeply respect your opinion and your approach. It is just not my personal philosophy. It does not mean I am saying you are wrong and I am right. I just comprehend it in a different manner.
                            I wish you a beautiful day ahead! (:

                                CCmei
                                I've only deleted one story so far, and that was mostly because I couldn't think past the beginning of it, and wanted to completely re-arrange it around. In the end, I rehashed a lot of ideas from the story but turned it into something new and a lot fuller and smoother.

                                I managed to get even some of that rare 'magic' when I wrote the 2.0 version, so though I was very disappointed in myself and even depressed to see the first version of the story flops so badly, I'm much happier in the results I produced a little later down the line.

                                Most of the time, I usually leave my stories online to rot alone and abandoned, a weird reminder of how I need to improve and do better. I usually always post a notice that it is discontinued when I do though. I don't know. I guess I like facing the disappointment of my meager readers.

                                I also agree with you about writing even when you know it won't be anything like what you have in your head. Sometimes, you produce a rare jewel without even realizing it, surprising yourself and later wondering 'Did I really write that?' when you go back and re-read it. :)

                                    Tblew

                                    Magic come my way~ Eh an author can dream.

                                    The most solid advice/snark I've heard is that your first story/and or draft SHOULD suck.
                                    That's what working and refining is for. That means you've grown.

                                    It's definitely hard to for me to even look back on earlier stuff, (let's not look on stuff from other websites I posted years back ).

                                    I can't listen to the dark thoughts in my head bc it tells me all the most awful things about my own work. But if I look at most of the readers/comments/support in my stories- the evidence says contrary. That my shit hits some people just right and I just need to keep plowing through- of course it's not perfect but there's something there that keeps people.
                                    I already think it's amazing that any one person bothers to read my work, bored or not- let alone the small community my own books built up.

                                    I still not so deep down think my stuff is pretentious wannabe trash or a major joke- but at the same time there's just that beautiful little gem that maybe only an author can love. Just like you said, something you can't help but lovingly read again and again in marvel, even though it's something you clumsily made yourself.

                                    Ah the mind of a creator. What a contradiction.

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